1) I'm testing for promotion, and since there are so many people testing, we have to test at this big high school. Some guys I work with and I take a GOV to the school and I'm playing with this Transformer that all the officers gave me as some kind of congratulations gift. When we get there, we talk to this guy at the entrance that if we don't have a time yet, then we have to walk around to the teacher's lounge to get one, but the teacher's lounge is all the way on the other side of the school. So I start walking there, and for some reason, I take my shirt off and all I'm wearing is a pair of khakis. I keep getting lost and it takes forever to get to the teacher's lounge, and when I finally do, this lady there tells me they've just given out the last testing time for today, and I'll have to wait until tomorrow. I'm really bummed because it took forever to get there, and I kept getting lost and stuff.

1) I'm riding on the back of a flat-bed trailer going down the highway, and there's this big accident, and somehow I end up developing super powers where I become really bendy. For my super-hero name, I pick "The Contortionist."

2) I'm at a big furniture store and Scarlett Johansson is there. I accidently knock this big glass table over, but it doesn't break. There's a fire place and this criminal guy starts tunneling in through the bottom of the fire place, but when he breaks through, the whole floor starts to collapse. Everyone is running out of the store and Scarlett trips and starts to fall into the hole. I grab a rope and pull her out.

3) I'm on a street corner in a big city and I'm talking to these two girls that work in a deli. Then the National Anthem starts to play over a PA system, so I stop and stand at attention. After it's over, the girls just kinda stare at me for a minute, then we start talking about how a bomb went off at another deli and they're both really suspicious of the government because the only guy that was killed was saying really bad things about George Bush. I leave and walk down the street to a big amusement park. I go in and they have this big display set up that looks like slave quarters on a plantation in the south in the early 1800s.

1) I'm on a trip to Vegas with my parents and my grandparents. We check into the Las Vegas Hilton. My Dad has reserved a suite, and we get to the room and it's really big. Unfortunately, I have to sleep on the fold-out sofa. It's getting dark outside, so I walk out on the balcony to check out the view of the Strip, and at first I don't see anything because there's a big black-out. Then, slowly, the lights start to come back on.

2) I'm in Vegas and I'm staying at the Luxor with a bunch of friends. Sarah Jessica Parker is there, and we're hanging out. It's around 9 PM and I tell her I want to go back up to my room and shower before we go out to clubs that night. She tells me to meet her for drinks at 10 and gives me her cell phone number, which makes me really happy because she doesn't give her number to just anyone. I get back up to my room and get ready. Then I start to freak out because I can't find my phone and if anyone finds it and sees Sarah's number on there and starts calling her, she's gonna get really mad at me.

1) I'm working at a base in Morganfield, and I'm out in the woods doing a site survey with the Commander and a couple other guys. We walk by a cemetery and we start talking about doing a project to make the headstones look nicer. We also see an open grave and someone starts talking about how they used to bury people alive, and I think about how horrible that would be.

1) I'm living in the dorm and one night Jay Tennant comes in my room and asks if he can have a couple days off work to go to a graduation ceremony. I say it's cool, and then I ask if he has any plans for the evening. He says he and Thaddeus are going to perform some kind of rap thing at this really exclusive club. I ask if I can go, and he says it's okay, but I can't bring anyone else since the club is so small and snobby.

2) I'm at a University of Louisville basketball game and they're having try-outs for a dance team. I leave the ball game and go home where I start sorting through all the books on my shelf. The bookshelf falls over, so I start putting all the books back up, and as I do, the characters in the book come to life and start yelling at me.

1) I PCS to another base, and when I get there, they stick me in a structures (carpentry) shop, and also, my brother is working there, too. I'm clueless about how to do any kind of carpentry work so I'm just kinda walking around, watching what other people are doing, and trying to look busy. A bunch of officers come in to give out a bunch of awards, and they're just randomly walking around to see if anyone's name is on the list. I'm thinking that I have an award coming, but I don't want to appear too eager. I see them leaving, so I tell my brother I have an appointment and I start walking out with all the officers. They see my name on my shirt and pull out this big huge plaque with my name on it and present it to me.

1) I'm at a rollerskating rink with Jeni-Bomb and a bunch of other people from Misawa. We're skating around and we decide to try to do tricks like in the iPod commercial, but it's a lot harder than it looks and we just end up sliding around on our butts the whole time.

2) I'm at some kind of opera house or something, and I'm sitting in a seat and I'm thinking the performance is getting ready to start, but I kinda have to use the bathroom, but all I'm wearing is a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt and I don't want to walk through the lobby because everyone else is really dressed up. I have a backpack underneath my seat, so I'm going through it hoping there's a pair of pants or a sweatshirt or something. I keep asking the people around me when the show is going to start, but they keep changing the subject.

1) I'm at my old Church and we're singing the Lord's Prayer and we finish, but then I turn the page in the hymnal, and there's a second verse but the words are all modern and hip-hop-like (i.e. Big Daddy, all up in ya crib). I'm kinda liking it, but I look around and I see all the old ladies frowning.

2) I'm shopping with some girl I assume is a friend of mine, and she tells me she wants me to go back to her house with her because she's suspicious of her husband and she doesn't feel safe. So I go back with her, and her husband and her son are watching television. I sit down and watch TV with them, and she gets up and leaves, so I'm feeling really awkward because I've never met them before.

1) I'm at work, and there are a bunch of people asking for a bunch of paperwork I don't have, so I'm searching frantically all over my desk, but it's not turning up anywhere.

1) I'm driving along a highway, and I'm taking an exit to get onto another highway. I'm driving about 65 mph, and I look up and see a cop with his lights on. At first I think he's probably after someone else, but when I pull over, he pulls over, too. I get my license and military ID out and he comes up to the passenger side of the car and gives me a ticket. He's wearing some kind of hunting outfit, and the only way I know he's a cop is by his hat. I tell him there was no signs telling me the speed limit was any lower than 65 mph. Just then, a guy pulls up behind the cop car and gets out and starts yelling at the cop. They start arguing, and the cop tells me I'm going to have to follow him back to his house. We get back there, and the guy who pulled up turns out to be the cop's son. The son's girlfriend is there, too, and all three of them are arguing, and I'm just sitting there feeling really awkward.

1) I'm walking around this huge mall, and I decide to go into an electronics store to see if they have the camera I bought any cheaper. While I'm in there, I see this guy who has two very young sons in wheelchairs. They both have to go to the bathroom, so I try to open the men's room door for them, but it's locked. I go up to the clerk and ask why the door is locked and he just kinda smiles and apologises. I start walking around the mall again and decide to get a smoothie, but I can't find the smoothie place.

1) I'm visiting the Church I grew up in, and instead of the traditional organ/piano/choir music set-up, they have a five-person band playing P&W. They're totally rocking out, and I'm kind of stunned to see all the little old ladies singing along. Then they stop and start leading everyone in a chorus of "How Majestic Is Your Name" and one of the girls in the band starts playing the bassoon.

2) I'm pretty sure I had some kind of dream telling me to shave my head, but I don't really remember the details.

1) It's my first day in the desert and I'm moving all my stuff into my tent. All the tents are co-ed, but nobody really cares. I need to go by the BX, but I don't know where it is, so I grab my flak vest and helmet and start wandering around trying to find it. Some guy tells me he'll take me there, but we get separated and I end up getting on the back of a truck with a bunch of people. I'm sitting next to a girl, so I start talking to her. I ask her where she's from, and she says northern Alabama, so I ask if she knows Brad and Kristy. She starts smiling and we find out we were both at the wedding in March.

1) I'm working for some kind of special forces and my mission is to go behind enemy lines and blow up a bunch of their equipment. But I can't just shoot at it, so I have to get in to their tanks and planes and helicopters and plant dynamite inside. So I'm running around throwing all this dynamite into all this equipment, and sometimes I see the enemy soldiers inside the cockpits and they're all dressed like stormtroopers. After a while, they start chasing after me, and I'm running up to one helicopter with nobody inside, so I decide to hide out in there. I get inside, but the stormtrooper guys are right behind me and I don't have a lot of time, so I do my best to hide. I get real still and I can hear them right outside and I'm really paranoid that they can see me.

1) I'm in college, and I'm taking time between classes to go run at the gym, but when I get there, I just walk aroun the gym looking for something to do, but don't actually work out. I go to a diner afterward to get something to eat, and while I'm sitting at the table, all these kids come in with Kiss makeup on. So I leave and go back to class, and I'm sitting in front of this really cool guy so I turn around to talk to him, but he's talking to the guy behind him. I turn back around, and I see Lana sitting the next row over.

1) I'm in Japan and I'm bowling with a bunch of people. We finish, and we're walking out to my truck. I'm waiting in line to pull out of the parking lot, and a big, huge truck pulls up next to me and scrapes the side of my truck. All these sparks are flying, and I'm getting really angry. So I get out, and the guys in the other truck get out and say how sorry they are. I'm starting to think that these guys will never pay me for the damage they've done to my truck.

1) I'm working in a big office building when all the power goes out, so I find a flashlight and I'm trying to find my way out. As I'm walking down the hallway, I find a little boy hiding in the corner, so he comes with me. We hear footsteps behind us, and I turn around and see this creepy looking maintenance guy following us, so we start running. We're going down the stairs, and I decide to check to see if the elevators are still working. We find an elevator door, and push the button. The doors open, but it's an empty shaft. I'm looking down the empty shaft and the maintenance guy is inside climbing up the walls. The doors start to close and the guy grabs my leg and I'm trying to get away.

1) I'm a groomsman in this really big, elaborate wedding, and it's right before the ceremony is about to begin, and I still don't really know what's going on. Everyone is running around trying to get last minute stuff done and I'm just kinda standing there watching. Regardless, I'm excited because I heard someone say Weezer was playing at the reception. Then I see Dan come in and find out he's a groomsman, too. He's got his tux with him, and I follow him into the bathroom to help him put it on. I'm kinda disappointed, though, because he doesn't seem to excited to see me, even though we haven't seen each other in almost two years.

1) I'm at work and I'm doing some job at the hospital. They have a bunch of chemicals and they're worried about whether they can just dump them down the regular drain or not. I'm trying to do a bunch of research on the pipes and where they lead and what the chemicals are. Then this doctor guy tells me I need to fill out some financial aid forms. So I'm working on these forms and I don't know the answers to any of the questions, so I start making up answers, and I'm really worried they'll catch me.

1) I'm walking across the border into Mexico, and I see some guys playing soccer in a park, then I walk down a big hill and up to the passenger side of a black car. The window rolls down, and it's my sister (Ed: I don't have a sister.) in the driver seat and a little girl in the passenger seat. My sister says they are taking a road trip down to Cancun and just stopped to get something to drink. The rear window rolls down and Drew Barrymore is in the back seat with two other little girls. They are drinking lime slushies. I start talking to Drew and she offers me a drink of her lime slushie, so I drink some because it's really hot. I start flirting with Drew, and then she mentions her boyfriend is one of the guys playing soccer at the top of the hill, but she doesn't sound too pleased with him, so I keep flirting. Eventually, they say they need to get going, so they leave and I start walking back to the top of the hill, but some Mexican army guy grabs my arm and stops me. I start fighting him and punching him, and I'm surprised he's really easy to beat up. He starts chasing me up the hill, and we stop every few feet and fist fight some more. Every time I knock him down, though, he gets back up and catches up with me. We get to the top of the hill, and some guy I can't see starts shooting at me with a machine gun, so I use the army guy as a human shield to make my way back across the border. Once I'm on the American side, I'm perfectly safe again.

1) I'm with Russell Crowe on a big ship (like in Master & Commander) and the ship is sinking because the crew hit it with their own cannons. The ship sinks and everyone is happy and laughing.

2) I'm a guest on David Letterman along with Janet Jackson, and it's the day of the show and I'm walking around the studio. I tried to get on an elevator with Janet, but the doors closed too fast. Suddenly, I'm a black guy and I have really long hair. I'm getting my hair and make-up done before the show, and the lady is trying to make my hair look really funky, but it doesn't work, which is good because I don't like it anyway. Now I look like myself again, and I finally run into Janet and tell her I totally intend to buy her new album, but I'm in the military and in the middle of deploying to Iraq and all I brought was my iPod. I'm hoping for some major sympathy in the form of a free CD or autograph or kiss, but she just looks at me and smiles and says "thanks." Also, the whole dream is interspersed with scenes from the movie "Mumford," which I've never seen.

1) I'm working as an operative in some foreign country where the government is corrupt and holding a bunch of people captive. I'm trying to help this girl escape and I meet up with her, and all she wants to know is where she can get Taco Bell.

1) I'm back in Misawa, and I'm giving a new guy a tour of the base. We're driving around the flightline, and I'm trying to show him all the cool stuff that Misawa has, but he doesn't seem too impressed. So we go to the BX and start looking at X-Box games.

1) I'm working as a counselor in a high school, and I'm lecturing this female student who doesn't like to participate in class and kinda has an attitude. After she leaves, I start talking to the other counselors and saying how I wish I was more of a rebel and an individual when I was in high school instead of such a follower.

2) I'm hanging out at Caleb's house one afternoon, and I realise it's getting pretty late and I'm supposed to be having people over to my house that night, and I still have to go to the grocery store. So I get to the store and I'm looking at the milk, and I see two different sections of milk and I don't know what the difference is between the two. I start reading the labels for each, and I see this other woman is doing the same thing. We start talking and we decide that one section is the regular section and the other section is the organic milk. I start putting a few gallons of organic milk in my cart, and then I see Caleb pushing my cart and he tells me I have too much milk.

1) I'm at some kind of summer camp with my family, and I get in trouble (I don't know why) so they make me deliver mail for the rest of the week. Ken, a guy from my shop, is there, and he tells me he's supposed to drive me to the main counselor's cabin. I told him I could drive there on my own, but he says since I got in trouble, I'm not allowed to drive, either.

1) I'm deployed to Guatemala and we're working on the demolition of an old building. My brother is operating a big crane and I'm riding on the wrecking ball. He gets really mad at me, and starts chasing me around this old building. At first, I'm fighting back, but then decide I'm going to lay there and be peaceful and just let him beat up on me. He decides not to. Then we go back to camp and we're all planting gardens and trying to decide which vegetables to plant and where to plant them. Plus, we all have to decorate our tents in a certain way, and I want to put Christmas lights on mine. Then I'm getting ready to go to bed, so I take a shower and I realize I'm out of q-tips, so I go out to the bus to see if the bus driver, who happens to be Don, has any. He does, but he's only got a few left, so I tell him I'll just do without.

1) I'm snowboarding with a bunch of people I don't know, and the snow on the mountain isn't very deep. We keep coming across patches of grass. It's getting really dark outside, and one of the guys I'm with says his house is just ahead. So we snowboard into his yard, and go inside for a while. I hang out with his family for a while, but decide I need to get home, so I start to go outside and put my snowboard on. I'm kinda worried because it's dark and I don't know my way back very well. Then his Mom comes out and tells me she'll take me home in her truck.

2) I get orders to go back through basic training again. I get there, and everyone is really nice, like we're at summer camp or something. We're checking into our dorms, and outside, Liz Phair is putting on a concert, but nobody else knows who she is, so I start requesting songs and she starts talking to me. I go back in and we start playing these cheesy icebreaker games. The only person I recognize is this guy from my shop that I don't really know that well, so I'm desperately trying to make small talk with him. I'm also worried about whether they'll let me keep my contacts in or if they'll force me to wear those ugly basic training glasses.

1) I’m in Vegas with a bunch of people, and we’re looking around for Jim and Nicole’s house.  We find this electronic map, and I point to where their house is with a little pen, and suddenly, all of us are right outside their door. We go inside, and Jim and Nicole start cooking us this really great vegan dinner. We're all eating and decide to go walk around downtown. We end up in this really scary neighborhood, and decide to turn around and go home.

1) I’m driving through Morganfield with my parents, and we stop at a motorcycle show so my Dad can check things out.  We’re walking around looking at all these motorcycles, and I see a bunch of my Dad’s old girlfriends.  I’m wondering if my Mom will get jealous, but she doesn’t.

1) I'm at this big waterfall with James Murphy and his parents and we're taking a big tour of the area. Then the waterfall stops, so I decide to climb up the side of the mountain. I get towards the top and the water starts flowing again, but it's going over me, so I'm not really getting very wet, but I can't see anything because of all the mist. I want to get to the top, but I can't, so I start to climb down again. When I get to the bottom, I see James and his parents get into a big truck and drive away.

1) I'm on tour with the choir in college, and we're staying overnight at this cabin in the woods. There's a really scary monster outside, so everyone's really afraid. A girl and a guy start fighting, and she grabs his shoe and throws it out the door, but he doesn't want to go get it because he's afraid he'll get eaten by the monster.

2) I'm sitting in the kitchen in the house in Morganfield watching Alanis Morrisette sing at some awards show on television, and my Mom comes in and she's been crying, so I ask her what's wrong, and she won't tell me. So I keep asking her and she finally says that she and Dad have been thinking about having another child and they were supposed to have a doctor's appointment the next day, but my Dad couldn't get out of work. So, I hug her and tell her how awesome it would be if they had another child, but whatever's best.

1) I'm in class in college, and there's a new guy I've never seen before, so I decide to be nice and introduce myself. He's a football player and he comes back to my dorm room and shows me this really cool website. He ends up hanging out for a really long time, but it's starting to get late and I want to go to bed. So I put on my pajamas and he just kinda stands there looking really clueless, like he doesn't know I'm trying to go to bed and he needs to go home.

1) I'm at my house in Morganfield for lunch, and my parents are there, but they go back to work shortly after I arrive. Before they go, they ask me to do a few chores while I'm home. So, I eat really fast, and the phone keeps ringing, and I'm trying to get all these chores done before I have to go back to work. I'm doing the dishes, and there's something wrong with the garbage disposal and it keeps shooting food up all over me.

1) I'm helping teach a bunch of people how to swim. One of the other teachers is Tania, and we're standing by the side of the pool talking while all the students are in the water. One of the students is a little older, and I look over and see her getting out of the water, so I walk over and ask her what the problem is. She says she's upset because she's older than the others but can't seem to pick up the technique as well, so I give her a little pep talk and she gets back in.

2) I'm moving into a dorm room, and by some mistake, they've put four people, two of which are girls, in the same room, which is meant for only two people. The other guy in the room is Brad, so he and I start thinking of ways to build a loft into the room so everyone has a place to sleep. We start playing around with guns and shooting at each other, but not really intending to hurt anyone. Then a bunch of FBI agents bust in and interrogate us regarding what we think about the cast of ALF.

1) I'm on this big trip through the mountains with everyone from the Hospitality House. We're all in a big bus and the roads are really curvy and everytime we go around a sharp curve, I keep thinking the bus is going to fall over the side. We stop at a rest stop because Jean-Marie has to pee. I get an e-mail on my phone from Don, who is waiting at our destination, asking where we are and how long until we get there. I write him back saying we should be there in a couple hours. We get back on the bus and the trip seems to be taking a lot longer than a couple hours. We finally get there, and we're in this big city and Melissa is there. We go into a bar and Melissa starts riding a mechanical bull.

1) I'm talking to this guy who sells cars, and he asks if I'll help him. We go to some kind of convention and set up a booth, but nobody stops to talk to us, so I quit.

2) Ann Williams and her husband, Jon, are in Utah for Jon's promotion ceremony. It's at the Chapel, and I walk in and see a local TV news crew doing a segment, so I'm trying really hard to stay out of the view of the camera. There's a children's choir singing and they sound really great. Later that night, I'm at home watching the news, and I see the segment.

1) I'm at a big science fair, but it's, like, in the 1800's or something because they have an old telephone here and the people are talking about how it's going to revolutionize the future.

2) I'm at the BX looking for a last minute gift for someone and picking up my dry cleaning. They're getting ready to close and the lady working there gives me attitude about being there so late.

1) I get hired at Gap as a manager, and it's my first night of closing the store. I can't remember all the stuff I'm supposed to do, so I do what I can and then drive over to another Gap to ask their manager if I did everything right.

2) I'm getting a new job as a civilian on base, and the lady I'm going to be working with is showing me around the office. We're walking around, and we go into the Chapel and I see a Chaplain and his wife that say they recognize me, but they can't remember from where. So I start listing off all the places I've been stationed and TDY and deployed, and then they say where they know me from, but it's not one of the places that I've been. But they keep insisting that's where they know me from, so I just go along with it.

1) A bunch of people from Misawa are staying at this big hotel suite on a mini-vacation. We're going out the lobby doors and I see this really attractive girl, and she asks me what my name is, so we start talking and she tells me she has a drinking problem. She comes with us and we start going to all these different festivals around the area. We're all at one festival where everyone is jumping up and down and carrying these big sticks, and Kerry tries to explain it to us. We stay out all night long, and get back to the hotel suite the next morning. Everyone checks out and goes home, but when I get home, I realize I've left some clothes at the hotel, so I have to go back.

1) I'm getting ready to leave Japan, along with Jimmy, and they don't have room for us in billeting, so we're staying at this tiny Japanese hostel. It's on the third floor of this old building, and to get up to it, we have to put a ladder together. But everytime we put the ladder together, someone comes along and takes it apart. Later, we're walking around outside and I jump in a little pond, but I don't know there's a drainage line in the bottom of the pond and I get sucked down into it and have to push myself out.

2) I'm walking around a mall and there are three guys walking a few feet behind me. They're talking really loud, and I can hear them say mean things about me. I get outside the mall and I see a big lake. As I'm walking by the lake, I see Jean-Marie hanging out in a little speed boat. I get in and we start talking. Then she gets out, so I decide to take the boat for a ride around the lake. I'm driving around, and I see a big cliff and Paul is at the top getting ready to dive off. I stop and watch him dive, then he swims over to the boat. I get in the water and start swimming. We're swimming around underwater, and I start to run out of breath, but Paul pulls me down and somehow conveys to me that he wants to know if it's possible to feel the presence of God underwater. I'm about to run out of air, so I just nod yes and start to swim up, but Paul pulls me down again and tries to ask me another question. I just start nodding and then Paul nods back and we both swim up to the surface.

3) I'm at a Gap in Vegas and I'm asking them about getting my old job back, but they tell me they're over-staffed. I start talking with everyone and then Mike, one of the managers, asks me to take some jeans back to the stock room. I take them back, and Mike meets me back there and tells me he's going to put me on the schedule anyway.

1) I'm at my old house in Morganfield, and Jeff Young is there and he's really upset. I'm trying to talk to him and find out why, but he won't tell me. So, I'm walking around the back yard, and I see Paul hidden behind some trees, so I go talk to him. He tells me everyone is really angry with him, so he's hiding out for a while.

1) My parents are getting ready to throw this big party, and a couple days before, the daughter of some of my parents' friends dies in a car accident. My parents are debating on whether or not to still have the party. Then the girl's parents tell my parents to go ahead and have the party.

Sabbatical

Letter from the editor:
Due to the fact I'm in the middle of moving, thereby causing internet access which is, at best, sporadic, I'm going to put "Tripping Lucid" on a temporary hiatus. Rest assured, I'm still going to write down my dreams in a notebook, and will enter them back-dated once I have everything set up in Utah. Take care. Sweet dreams.
-cws

1) It's my last Sunday in Misawa, and even though I had told Brian I wasn't going to play piano for Chapel this week, I decide to go ahead and show up anyway. [True, this is actually happening in real life, but this is also how my dream starts out.] So, I show up to play, but there's already this lady there playing in my spot, and I get a little angry and tell her I'll go ahead and play. She gives me a dirty look and gets up. We start the service and I realize that the entire praise team has changed, and they're doing these really weird songs we've never done before. I'm doing my best to keep up, and I look over and see the lady glaring at me and smiling because she knows I'm having a hard time. We get to the last song of the service and I'm totally determined to play it really awesome. Right before we start playing, I see the lady move to another piano where the drum kit used to be. The song starts and we're both playing really loud and I'm concentrating really hard and I start sweating because I'm playing with such intensity. This goes on for a few minutes, then I glance over and the lady has gotten up from the other piano and walked away, and I'm thinking "Aha! I've won!" So I keep playing, and after a few minutes I look up and the people on the praise team are gone and I look out and nearly everyone in the congregation has left and I just feel stupid.

1) I'm at some kind of camp or deployed or something, and all the guys with me are guys from my college fraternity. We're in an outdoor assembly getting ready to hold elections, and I'm in front talking to the current President. I'm trying to convince him that it would be a good idea to get Whitney Houston to come to a party, but he's not so sure. I get really frustrated and tell him I'm not so happy with how things are going in the fraternity, and he gets mad and tells me that maybe I should run for President. But I get all nervous, because if I decide to run for President and I don't win, then I'll feel like a big time loser.

1) I'm working in my office, and I see this kid who's about 10 years old walking around our shop. I ask around to see if anyone knows whose kid it is, and somebody says they think his last name is Cortes. Then I'm thinking I don't even know anyone in our squadron named Cortes. So, I'm walking around the shop, and the kid walks right in front of me and collapses on the floor and stars convulsing. I'm freaking out because I don't know what to do. Then somebody says to just leave him there, and he'll quit. So I'm standing there because I don't want to just leave the kid on the floor, and he stops and gets up and walks away. I'm walking back toward my office, and I see Don, so I give him a big hug, and we're getting ready to go back into my office to chat and just as I start to close the door, the kid comes into my office and drops to the ground and starts convulsing again. So I tell Don that he'll stop in a minute, but then this weird white stuff starts spewing out of his eye, like crazy string or something. So I get up to see if I can get help, and everyone else in the shop starts staring at this poor kid on the floor of my office.

1) My family and I are walking around a big grocery store, and I see this plate of food for sale that looks really good, so I decide I'm gong to buy it for my Mom. We're still walking around the store, and I have this plate in my hand, and I'm worried about it getting cold, so I ask my Mom if she just wants to eat it now, and she just stares at my blankly. My brother starts teasing me.

2) I'm in my shop, and I decide I'm going to shave my head. So I get a can of shaving cream, and I put it all over my hair, and start in with a razor. But my hair is too long, and it just ends up looking patchy and I start to lose my patience. Then I pull out a pair of scissors to cut my hair to make it short enough to shave, and I look up and it's almost 4:30, but I don't want to leave work with my hair all jacked up, so I start cutting faster.

1) I get tickets to a crappy awards show because I think it might be fun and I might end up seeing some minior celebrities there. I get to my seat, and I'm sitting right next to Tom Hanks. He's sitting with two little girls, which I assume are his daughters. He says he decided to attend this awards show because he thought the Oscars were over-rated. They also have a buffet, so Tom gets up to go eat, and I think I'll wait a while, but then I decide to go anyway. I'm walking through the line, and everything looks really disgusting, so I keep walking thinking I'll eventually find something I like. But then I get to the desserts, so I just decide I'll eat a few desserts to hold me over until I can get some real sustenance. I'm wandering around with my plate and I walk through this doorway into someone's living room, and I see this lady and her daughter watching Good Morning America and there's some lady on there singing. When she finishes, they say that Courtney Love is going to be performing on Friday, and I'm all excited. Then there's an advertisement for a Courtney Love action figure.

1) Julia Roberts and I are going to this big movie theatre and we're not sure what we want to see, so we figure we'll decide when we get there and see what's playing and at what time. It's snowing really bad outside, and when we're pulling into a parking space, we hit the curb really hard because we can't see it because of the snow. We get inside the theatre and we're looking around for what movies are playing, but they're not listed anywhere, and all the people working behind the counter are too busy to talk to us. Then, this guy who works in the computer section of my squadron comes up behind us with two big potted plants in his hands, and he starts hitting us with them.

1) We're all in Vegas, and we decide to go to San Diego for the weekend (and, for some reason, we take our snowboards). We stop at a Nautica store and we're looking around, and Paul sees this spectacular leather jacket, and I'm desperately trying to convince him to buy it because it looks really good on him. I'm kinda disappointed because I can't find anything I really like.

2) I'm in some kind of college dormitory, and I go into this one room and all these girls are in there practicing witchcraft. They tell me I have amazing energy flowing out of me and get me to stand in a certain spot. They start waving their arms around me, and all of these cats come out of nowhere and start crawling all up and down my whole body. I'm kinda weirded out, but the girls keep telling me everything is okay, so I believe them. Then the cats jump off, and run away. The girls are all amazed and tell me I have a special spiritual bond with cats and that we'll always be connected. And I say, "Well, that totally stinks because I'm allergic to cats and now I'm going to be sneezing for a week." They look disappointed, and I leave the room.

1) I'm on a train helping these little kids get across the country to raise money for their orphanage. We get to some big park and we're playing kickball, when suddenly, the whole park floods. I'm swimming around trying to find all these children, and I look up and see this big, huge ship coming by. I try to grab on to the side, and I see Celine Dion, and she's reaching out trying to save me.

1) I'm in the States and I somehow end up meeting Heather Armstrong (aka dooce). I have a dog and it's playing with her dog and we end up talking about our lives and stuff. She offers me a ride, so I get in her car, and she hands me her cell phone, but I can't work it because I'm used to Japanese cell phones. We end up going to a big mall where all the guys from my squadron that deployed last October are hanging out because they came back to the States on their way to help with tsunami relief. We've been told to stay away from the plane, but I see other people getting up close to it and taking pictures of it.

1) I'm getting ready to go into a Polo store with Jay and Mike, and they start teasing me about how much money I spend shopping for clothes. So I'm determined not to spend any money in the store. But once we go in, there's a big sale, so I decide to just buy some underwear, but then I see these really cool t-shirts, so I'm going through them, but I can't find my size.

1) I'm in some kind of assembly hall with a bunch of college students. We're all working on this big project for a fair or something. This one annoying guy keeps bothering me and throwing a big rubber ball at me and quoting "Napoleon Dynamite." This other guy is trying to have sex with a girl, but every time they try, a chaperone shows up. Billy Bob Thornton is there, too.

1) I'm riding along with my Mom and my cousin, Elizabeth, and we see an old, abandoned house on the side of the road. We stop and we're looking around, and the house starts creeking and stuff, like it's going to collapse. We walk around to the side, and we see the back of the house is right on the edge of a steep hill. We go down the hill and explore a litte bit. Then the hill starts to slide down, so we run back up to get out of the way. The back of the house starts to fall in on itself, and the rest of the house is close behind.

2) I'm singing in a Christmas program at the Chapel, and Chaplain Rosenthal is leading the music. I'm handing out the sheet music to everyone in the choir, and there are extra copies, so the Chaplain says to give the extra copies out to the congregation, but I'm kinda nervous because these are the same copies we used in rehearsals and some of the people have written crude things in them. So I warn the people in the Chapel that there may be things hand written in the music that could be PG-13, or worse.

1) I'm hanging out with my Dad and my brother, and suddenly, Superman comes along and takes us to the top of the arch in St. Louis. I'm really nervous because we're on top of the arch, and a stiff breeze could come along and blow us off any minute. Then, Superman takes us to the top of the Washington Monument, and starts telling us all these facts about Washington, DC, and how the United States is so great and stuff.

2) I'm helping with some kind of construction project in some kind of third world country. I'm in the middle of mixing a big batch of concrete, and there are all these ladies there standing around watching me because they don't want to get dirty.

1) I'm in Morganfield at the home of Randy Hutchison, a friend of my Dad's, and he's showing me around his house and all the remodelling he's done. He's also telling me about his company truck and how he's only allowed to drive so many miles per month. He's nervous because he's getting ready to go over on his mileage, and if he does, he has to pay the company a lot of money.

1) It's my birthday, so I decide to get a hamburger at McDonald's. I take it to a picnic table outside, and it's the worst thing I've ever tasted.

2) I'm walking with Christina Ricci and another girl to Christina's home. When we get there, I find it's actually a big tent. We go inside and Christina starts talking about how she used to be sick all the time, and from the conversation, I discover she's allergic to the colour blue. And the reason she was always so sick before is because the tent is yellow, and when the sun shines through, it makes the blue things inside look green, so she didn't know she should have gotten rid of them.

1) I'm at a Christmas party thrown by the President. He's sitting at the head of the table and making a big speech, and I'm at the opposite end making jokes about everything he says. We all get little presents, and everyone at my end of the table opens theirs, and they're all little plush toys of Sesame Street characters. I have Ernie, and a girl sitting next to me gets ketchup all over it.

2) I'm a freshman in college and I'm eating lunch in the dining hall. I sit with a bunch of artsy-looking juniors and seniors, and there's one girl sitting next to me who's really attractive. We're all talking and I'm making some funny jokes and the really attractive girl is laughing, so I'm thinking I should leave and sit with some other people, so I don't look too desperate.

1) I'm going to be in a new movie directed by Steven Spielberg along with Will Smith and Oprah Winfrey. I arrive at the studio the same time as Will and Oprah, and the three of us are walking around trying to find the set. We find this little conveyer belt and stand on it. It takes us around the outside of a big building and then inside, but it's really dark. We start going faster and faster, and I'm starting to get kinda scared. Then it starts going in circles really fast right before it stops, and the three of us are in this big dark room, and Steven Spielberg is there and he says, "Glad you could make it."

1) I'm hanging out with Drew Barrymore and a bunch of other girls in Drew's bedroom. She has a big garden full of mushrooms and pumpkins. Something happens, and all the mushrooms get uprooted, so we all help Drew replant them.

2) I'm sitting on a big couch talking to two people I don't know, when one of them asks me how old Dan Haas is. I guess late twenties or early thirties. Then I get a call on my cell phone from some random girl asking me to meet her in an abandoned parking lot. I'm worried because I think she's angry that I guessed Dan's age wrong.

3) I'm at a mall in Tokyo with my parents, and we're at this really exotic pet store and there's strange fish and weird ocean creatures in aquariums all over the place. They have several big octopi and these eels with funky tongues. I'm talking with this family who has a really big dog that loves to play fetch. I leave the mall and get in my car to find another mall. When I get there, I'm worried I won't be able to find my way back to the first mall where my parents still are. I end up running into some other Americans, and I ask for directions, but first I want to find a Starbucks.

1) It's sometime in the future, but I'm not sure how far into the future, and I'm riding on a big subway train with a bunch of people who are really immature and joking around with each other and I'm starting to get embarrassed. We've been told the subway is outdated, and it's going to be demolished soon, so we're riding on it just for fun. I get off the train and walk through a mall to a GAP store and start talking to people I don't really know.

1) I'm hanging out with everyone at the Hospitality House, but instead of looking like the actual Hospitality House, it looks like our first house in Kentucky. Everyone is really excited because we all got e-mails from Caleb, who is home on leave. Everyone printed out the e-mails, and we're going around the room reading them aloud.

1) A friend and I are walking along a street, and these two terrorists pull up in a car and threaten to shoot us if we don't get in. They start asking us all kinds of questions and tell us they'll kill us if we don't do what they want us to do. Somehow, I don't really feel like my life is in danger, and I'm almost laughing at them and their lack of English skills.

2) I go onto a submarine where I see this guy Mike and a bunch of people I don't know. One of the people is this really attractive black lady with braids in her hair. She gets mad at me because we're on a submarine, and I left the door open when I got on. Then people start randomly having sex with each other. So, I decide to join in, but I'm looking for the black lady and I can't find her anymore.

3) I'm in a tiny cave with two people I've never met before. There's an avalanche, and it covers up the opening to the cave, so we're stuck inside. I have to pee really bad, so I go into the corner, and I pee so much it covers the entire floor of the cave, and one of the people in the cave with me is angry because she wanted to lay on the ground and sleep, but now she can't.

1) I'm deployed and my friend Jo and I are in the same tent. I'm walking around camp one day, and I see her husband Vince looking for her. I get kinda nervous because I don't know if he knows we're staying in the same tent, so I keep my mouth shut.

1) Trish and Jeni-Bomb are starting up a singing duo for Church, and they ask me to be their accompanist. We're driving to this Church out in the country to rehearse, and when we get there, there is already a group of people there, and they give us nasty looks when we walk in.

1) My friend Brad is getting ready to PCS, and I'm driving him to the airport. It's early morning, and still dark outside. He's wearing his blues, for some reason. We're driving to the airport, and I want him to hear the new Interpol album, so I pull over to the side of the road so I can find it on my iPod. We stop at a convenience store so he can get coffee. While we're there, he loosens his tie and starts doing this funny dance.

1) I'm at work and going around to different shops getting stuff ready for the squadron Christmas party. I'm talking to this guy about pictures for the slide show, and then everyone decides to go outside to this big grassy area outside the building. We're all sitting around watching planes fly, when one of the planes starts to go down. We're all watching, and the plane circles around behind us, and starts to crash. It hits the ground right behind us and it looks like it's sliding right toward me. I close my eyes and roll up into a little ball. When I open my eyes the plane has slid right throught the middle of the crowd, but only missed me by a few inches. I look ahead and it's still sliding. It hits a building and bursts into flames. It's burning so hot that a few people around me catch of fire.

2) I have a crush on some girl who's getting ready to go to Tokyo. I decide to look online to see if I can get cheap plane tickets so I can go with her. I look down at my computer, and the screen has detached from the rest of the computer, and there's some guy on my couch watching movies. I ask him if he knows anything about how my computer got broken, and he just kinda stares at me.

1) I'm walking around Wal-Mart with Jeni-Bomb and Kerry looking for beauty products. They tell me they're going to start cutting people's hair, and I tell them they can experiment on me. So we go to this house in the desert, and they cut my hair. When they finish, it looks like they've shaved the entire front part of my head.

1) I'm at the e-club, and it looks really different. There are a bunch of people there who are my friends, and Drew Barrymore is there, too. It's not very crowded, and we're all just haning out and socializing. Then it starts getting more and more crowded, and as more people come in, it gets really loud and rowdy. Then people are getting really drunk and turning tables over and stuff. My friends and I are getting really frustrated, because we just wanted to be mellow and hang out for a while.

2) I'm out in the country driving a Hummer and getting ready to deploy, but I don't know where to. There's a guy riding with me, and he says we're going to Haiti, which doesn't bother me at all.

1) I'm staying at this house with my brother and some guys from my squadron. It's late at night, and they're all sitting in the living room and watching television. I'm really hungry, and there's a half-eaten birthday cake, and I want some, but I don't know who to ask, so I just take some. I go outside, and there's these really weird, almost clear berries growing up from the ground. My brother comes out, and I ask if they're grapes, and he says they're raspberries, but they just don't have any colour yet.

2) I'm in a city, and I go into some bar, and they're having a dancing contest, but it's a group dance contest, so I go in to watch. I'm watching all the groups compete, and then one group gets up and it's full of really fat girls and a couple really fat guys. One of the guys says he's James Murphy's younger brother. They start dancing around horribly, and I think how embarassed James would be if he were there.

3) I'm at this house in a suburb with my brother, and we're visiting this couple who is friends with Gwen Stefani. Gwen is there talking to the wife and the wife is teaching Gwen how to be more erotic. So the wife, Gwen, my brother, and I are in a separate little house in the back yard, and there's all this ice cream. We start eating the ice cream, and I notice there is cheese and bacon in some of it, so I avoid it. Then my brother starts making out with Gwen, and I'm jealous, because I want to make out with Gwen.

1) I'm going home on leave, and both my family and my friend's family are picking me up. I'm putting my luggage in the trunk and I notice that all my bags are opened up and my stuff is strewn all over the place. I'm trying to get all my clothes and stuff back in the bags.

2) I'm going out with Avril Lavigne, and we're swinging at a park. There's a big group of red-necky old men there, too, and they're singing these really annoying country songs really loud, and Avril and I start laughing.

3) I'm living in this really small village, and I'm babysitting this 5-year-old girl who looks really sweet and innocent. But when her parents leave, she turns into this total demon child, and starts speaking in a really deep voice. I try to put her in her room and hold the door shut, but she breaks the door down.

1) I'm on some TV talk show, and I'm up on stage with a bunch of white-trashy people, and they start having sex with each other, and I'm wondering who's watching this on TV, and if I should join in.

2) I'm in a park in the middle of a big city with a bunch of guys from work. We're flying kites, and a couple of the other guys' kites have gotten tangled in power lines. I'm all paranoid about mine getting in the power lines, too. I'm running across the park with my kite and I look back, and, sure enough, it's all caught up in the power lines, but it's really low, so a couple other guys get it untangled, and I start flying it again.

1) I'm talking to a friend, and he gives me a little video game console, and tells me to start playing it. It's some weird Mario game, and the graphics are really good.

2) I've been asked by my family to go and stay at this big mansion for the weekend and take care of it. I get there, and it seems empty, so I'm walking around upstairs, and this guy shows up out of nowhere and scares the crap out of me. He's really nice, but he's kinda weird. Then, all these other people start showing up saying they're all distant relatives, and they're all weird or crazy in some way.

3) I'm on some kind of road trip with a bunch of people on a bus, and we stop at a gas station to use the bathroom. When I'm walking out, I'm really dreading getting back on the bus.

1) I'm in the house in Morganfield with Ben and we are scared because there is a team of female assassins after us. We're hiding in the basement and we both decide that while we're both afraid, there's something cool about getting chased by sexy female assassins.

1) I'm working at some kind of school or church, and there's a really famous guy coming to speak, and I'm the one who has to coordinate everything. So, the guy arrives, and I'm showing him around the campus. There are Japanese people everywhere, and he keeps asking questions about them. He wants to get a haircut, so I take him to the barber shop. I leave to use the bathroom, and when I come back, he's gone. So, I'm desperately searching all over campus for this guy so he can make it to his speech on time.

1) I'm on a raft in the middle of a lake with my brother, and there's a shark swimming around us. I'm worried because I have these big scars across my chest like I've been enbalmed, and my blood is leaking out, which is what is attracting the shark. My brother wants to catch the shark. We float over toward a big pyramid sticking out of the water and get on. My brother attacks and kills the shark, and we haul it up on the side of the pyramid. My brother swims for shore to go let people know he caught the shark.

(Editorial note: In the middle of the night, after the first dream, we had a decent sized earthquake in Misawa, which woke me up, but I soon went back to sleep.)

2) I'm at home telling everyone about the great earthquake we had in Japan.

1) I'm on the back porch of the house in Morganfield talking to my Dad. The sky starts to get really dark, and I start telling my Dad a story about getting struck by lighting. The wind starts blowing really hard, so I run out into the yard, hoping it will happen again. Lightning starts stiking all over the yard, but not on me, so I'm running around aimlessly in the yard, trying to get hit.

2) I just got married to Cate Blanchett, and she's telling me that it's okay if I want to have sex with other women if we're apart for a long time. She says she's getting ready to help Kanye West record his new album, and she'll probably end up having sex with him, since his studio gets pretty cold sometimes.

1) I'm riding on a train with Kate Winslet, and she's running around hysterically all over the place. When the train stops, we get off, and these guys take her and thank me for taking care of her.

1) I'm on Hoth, the ice planet, like in "The Empire Strikes Back," and I'm like the Han Solo character, and I have to go out into the blizzard and find Luke Skywalker before he gets eaten by the big snowman monster. But instead of taking one of those big upright horse with horns thing, I drive a little blue pickup truck. So I'm driving this truck in the blizzard looking for Luke, and I see him out in the middle of nowhere running from the big monster. I stop in front of him, and we decide the best course of action is to try and hide in the bed of the truck and cover ourselves with snow. We don't do a very good job covering ourselves and the monster sees us. We're frantically trying to get out of the bed and into the cab of the truck before the monster eats us.

2) I'm working with Caleb up on the hill doing all this top secret stuff. After work everyday, we follow each other home and stop at this greasy little burger joint for dinner. One time, while we're there, this really attractive black lady sits down with us and starts talking. She's really nice, and we're having a good coversation, but then she tries to get us to tell her a bunch of top secret stuff having to do with our job.

1) I have a second job in Morgainfield, so I have to commute there once a week and stay overnight. I decide to get an apartment, and I'm stocking it with groceries. My apartment is on the second floor of the building, and I'm having a really difficult time getting all the groceries in there. Then, one week, I come back, and someone else is living in my apartment, and I start to wonder if I paid my rent on time.

1) I'm at some kind of rest stop on the side of a highway in the middle of a desert. It's dusk, and I'm trying to change a tire on the vehicle I'm driving. Suddenly, Jeni-Bomb shows up to help me, and tells me I need chains on my tires. I try to tell her that we're in the middle of the desert, but she tells me to trust her. So, I put chains on my tires.

1) I'm TDY with my boss, and we're staying in the same hotel room. He brings along some kind of hallucinogenic drugs, but we can't do anything because people keep knocking at the door.

1) Jason Johnson and I are walking around the campus of my high school because there is some kind of problem with the pipes in one of the mechanical rooms and we've been sent to fix it. There is also some kind of NAACP function going on, and as we're walking around, people keep staring at us because we're the only white people around. We finish the job, and keep walking until we see some carnival game set up that is being run by Trish. For the game, you have to throw these little balls through holes in a wall, but the balls are really big and the holes are really small and the distance from which you have to throw is ridiculously long. So there's really no way you could win. I talk to Trish for a while, then Jason and I are trying to find our way out, and we have to keep climbing over fences.

1) I'm deployed, and I'm driving around looking for the place I'm supposed to meet my Mom for lunch. I go into a little restaurant, and Paul and Trish come in right after me.

2) I'm walking around some kind of college campus looking for a meeting I'm supposed to attend. There are lots of other people, including Ryan Halligan, looking for the same meeting. It takes all night for us to find this place, and then we have the meeting. Everyone wants to go to sleep afterward, but I tell my boss that I'll go ahead and work the next day.

1) I'm walking around a college campus with Kerry, and she has to go to class, so I just keep walking around. I'm behind some buildings, and some people and children are talking and throwing a frisbee and stuff, so I join in. These obnoxious little kids start grabbing onto my legs, and my cell phone rings. It's Kerry asking if I can pick her up. Then, one of the little kids grabs my phone and gets his greasy hands all over it. I get my phone back, and all the keys are stuck. So after I pick Kerry up, I start tinkering with my phone and I end up breaking it.

2) I'm in bed, and Mike is laying next to me. I have to go to the bathroom, so I get up and go. As I'm leaving the bathroom, I walk by a strange third bedroom. I go inside, and PJ Harvey is sitting on the bed. I sit down and start talking to her. We have this great conversation about music and education. I put my hand on her leg, and start rubbing it.

1) I'm driving with Caleb in his car, and we're in the county I grew up in, looking for the home of this guy I went through grade school with, Jason Bullock. It's really pretty outside, and all the trees have colorful leaves. I'm trying to remember how to get to this guys house, and I keep leading us in the wrong direction. We drive over this covered bridge, and stop to get out and look at it. When we do, we realize it's actually somebody's house, and the guy who lives there comes out. We start to talk to him, but he just runs away.

1) Dracula and I are running through this field on opposite sides of a fence, but I don't know if he's chasing me or I'm chasing him. I start climbing the fence and he starts yelling at me.

2) I'm playing the pinball machine in our old basement with my old youth minister, Sam. We're both kinda jokingly talking smack about who's going to win. So, it's my turn, and I start playing, and I'm thinking I'm doing really good. I'm hitting all the right little bumpers and lights to get points and stuff. I finish playing my last ball, and when I look up to see my score, it's only 265.

1) It's early in the morning, and I have a bunch of wood in front of my house. I'm using a circular saw to cut it, but I'm worried I'll wake the neighbours. I'm constantly looking over in the next row of houses to see if Ryan is home.

2) I'm walking through a series of rooms in a building, and end up at some big party with a bunch of rock stars from the 60s. I'm reading a copy of Rolling Stone magazine, and this really rich lady starts asking me stupid questions, and I'm really rude and sarcastic with her. Then, I'm mingling around the party and all these people are handing me beer, so I keep drinking it.

1) Paul, Trish, Jeni-Bomb, Kerry, Caleb and I all get into Caleb's car to go see some kind of big Japanese monument or something. On the way back, we have to drive over this really tall, narrow bridge. As we're driving over it, I start to get really worried there might be an earthquake while we're on the bridge. I don't tell anyone how worried I am, but I can't keep from looking over the side and peering all the way down to the water. We finally make it to the other side, and stop to go to the bathroom. As we're walking around the rest stop, there are some little street peddlers trying to get us to by some cheap trinkets, and they won't leave us alone. So Trish holds up some kind of doll or something like she's selling it, so the peddlers will leave us alone.

1) My brother and I are driving in a big truck, and we stop at a mall to pick up a present for our Dad. We park the truck, and in the next parking space is Renee Zellweger in this little, tiny, compact car, and she has three kids. She's having some difficulty getting all the children out of their car seats and into strollers and stuff, so we ask if she needs any help. When we get into the store, we're looking around the men's section but can't find anything we like for Dad.

2) I'm join some kind of orchestra, and they tell me they need a bassoon player, so that's what I'll be playing. They give me a brand new bassoon, and I open up the case, but the reed is broken. So I'm trying to find the band director to see if he can help me get a new reed.

1) I'm watching this musical because I know a girl performing in it. In the middle of one of her scenes, she pushes the guy she's on stage with off the stage, and pulls me up there. Somehow, I know the words and the dance steps. Afterward, I go home to this weird looking apartment I'm sharing with Jimmy and some other guy. I just wanted to go home and take a shower before the next performance. So, after I get out of the shower, I go into the kitchen and there are, like, 15 clocks in there and they're all set to different times. So I'm freaking out and yelling at my roommates because I don't know what time it is or when I have to be back to the theatre.

2) I'm in a hotel room somewhere getting ready to go to sleep. I notice someone has laid out little pieces of cheese in all the corners for the mice. So, I tell the staff, and they decide to dig this big hole in the middle of the room to find all the mice. It ends up being this huge gaping hole in the middle of my room. There's this black lady helping dig, and she's standing on the edge, and the ground caves in beneath her. I start to fall in, too, but I crawl out. She's laying face down in the dirt, and she says she's okay, but I'm worried the other side is going to cave in. So, I'm really frantic and looking around for a rope to pull her out.

1) I'm at work and Ryan Halligan needs help taking some things to the recycling center, so we get in the truck and head up there, but neither of us really know where it is, so we get a little lost. When we finally get there, Bjork is there, too.

1) I'm going to some kind of college that specializes in song writing. I don't live in the dormitory, but I'm walking through there and Mike Flickinger and Mike Cole are playing frisbee in the hallway, so I stop for a while to chat and toss the frisbee. I leave there and go back to my apartment, and my roommate is packing up all his stuff. He wants to move out because he says I'm too loud, so I convince him to stay for the rest of the semester. I leave there, and go to my job as a clerk in some big department store. Heath Schexnider works there, too, and when we get there, we notice the entire staff is there because the manager is really incompetent, and has scheduled everyone for the same shift. I look up and notice the store doesn't have a roof, and the sky is really neat looking, so I point it out to everyone. Everyone is looking up in awe of all the stars, and Heath and I start making out.

2) I'm riding in a car with Johnny Depp, and he's telling me all about what is was like making the movie "Ed Wood."

1) I'm digging a trench in this meadow that's totally surrounded by forest. There are other people out there working, too, and we see the clouds overhead start to swirl around. I start to run toward a building, but Jeni-Bomb tells me there's not enough time to get there, so, for some reason, I run into the woods. The tornado touches down and it's kinda chasing me all over. I end up finding this dormitory-like building, so I go inside. I'm running around inside the dorm telling people to take cover because there's a tornado outside, and I see Beka and Nina. They are both back in Misawa just to hang out with each other for a while. They'd been in town for a week, and I kinda feel disappointed they hadn't called me yet.

2) I'm riding with my Dad on his boat, and we're in some kind of harbour or something, and we're being towed out into the lake by a bigger boat. There are lots of other boats around, and the harbour is really crowded. We start going faster, and I fall into the water. I'm holding onto a rope, and I keep going under the water, and I'm worried that one of the boats behind us is going to run over me. I somehow get back into the boat, and we get out into the lake. My Dad wants to ski, so he pulls out his skis and the rope. I'm kinda nervous because I've never driven the boat while someone is skiing before.

1) I'm driving through Las Vegas with Justin Hubbard (whom I was friends with in the 5th grade), and I'm telling him about all kinds of good places to eat. We park and as we're walking toward some places to shop, I tell him they should have more outdoor cafes in Vegas. We go inside a mall, and Justin writes a check for $230,000, shows it to me, and says that's his spending limit. Then we go with this weird group of people who are really upset because they think the Earth is no longer rotating on its axis. They're preaching about the end of the world and telling everyone how there's going to be enormous earthquakes and tidal waves and whatnot. Justin and I leave and get on a train out of town.

1) I'm riding around with a group of people, and we're stopping at different video stores looking for a movie to rent, but nobody can decide. For some reason, we stop at this really fancy restaurant, and one of the guys has to use the bathroom. We all go in, but the guy can't go in the men's room because it's full, so he goes to the ladies' room, and I get really nervous they're going to kick us out.

2) I'm at some party and there are a lot of people from CNN there. Sharon Stone is there, too, and she's bragging about how she killed her husband. The husband's little boy, her step-son, overhears, and gets her to follow him back to his bedroom. He uses some kind of mental or supernatural power and she falls over dead.

1) I'm in a long hallway and it kinda looks like a high school, but it's rather dark, and I can't see too well. I see someone walking at the other end, so I run toward them, and it's Trish. So I say, "Hey! Whattup?" And she says, "What are YOU doing here?"

1) I'm back at the house in Morganfield with a bunch of people from high school that I didn't really know that well. We're running around outside, and I have a big squirt gun filled with holy water. I run around the house and into the basement, and Jason Berry is there waiting for this older lady to come in so he can try to have sex with her. I tell him I'm going to hide in the corner so I can watch. Then, a bunch of people start coming in and throwing a big party in my basement. Everyone is dancing around and Paris Hilton is there. I start to feel really self conscious because all these other guys have big muscles, and I don't.

2) I'm on a trip with my Mom, and we are driving a rental car. We're on this big highway and it banks really hard to the left. There's a guy in front of us who loses control of his car, and bumps up against us. We pull over and it's Kevin Bacon. He apologises and tells us he'll pay for everything.

2) I'm in Cairns (?) on a retreat or something with a bunch of people from the Hospitality House. We keep splitting up into groups because some people want to go hunting and some people want to go shopping. Don is there and spends all his time on the phone and doesn't come out with us at all. I want to split off from the group and just get lost in the city, but I don't have the guts to ask permission.