1) I go home to visit my family, and my Mom is really pampering me and won't let me even get up from the couch. I finally leave and go to church. My friend JoAnn is there, and she's going to sing in a battle of the bands competition. She asks if I'll play piano for her, and I say yes. But she's getting ready to go on stage and I haven't even heard the music yet, so I tell her she needs to get me some sheet music or at least some chord progressions.

1) I'm at some new club with a bunch of people. We're going through the door, and the bouncer is checking our IDs. As we're walking in, I see Jay walking out. I stop him and tell him to hang out with us for a while. We go into the club and find a booth in the corner and sit down. We're ordering drinks, and I'm trying to talk to Jay, but it's really loud. Jay and I get up so we can go somewhere more quiet to talk, but everyone else keeps following us. Regardless, all I can think about is how good it is to see my good friend again.
2) Kyle has moved into this new apartment that's in a really old building, and you have to walk through all these mechanical rooms to get to it, but once you do, it's a really nice apartment. He's having a big party one night, and we're all hanging out and drinking, and I get drunk really quick. I start to think that maybe I've been drugged, and I see Ryan Heath. I'm talking to him, and we walk outside. He tells me he needs to go, but to stop by his dorm room later on. I start walking back to the party, but I'm all disoriented and I'm having trouble walking. As I'm going back into Kyle's building, there are all these homeless people taking shelter in the mechanical rooms, and I keep running into them. I tell them I'm sorry, but they just grunt at me. I finally make it back to the party, but there are only a few people left. They're all talking about starting some kind of political revolution.

1) I'm going through some kind of Army special ops training, and Nick Lagunas is there, too. This hardcore army general guy says our final assignment is to break into a top secret area and destroy an F-117. So we're driving onto a base and we blow through the gate. Then we decide to ram a big truck into the 117. Just as we do, a bunch of alarms go off and we start running.

2) I'm hanging out with my Mom and her sisters, and they all have these huge dogs they insist on bringing everywhere. So when we go out to dinner, we have to take five cars because the dogs take up so much room. We go to a Japanese restaurant, and I get some really disgusting looking squid-like thing, and no one else will try it, not even the Japanese or the dogs.

1) I'm back in college, but I'm home visiting my parents. While I'm there, I get sick so I'm sleeping on the couch and burning this huge candle. Then I go to Jerry Howard's apartment and Brad Mills is there. He wants to have sex with his fiance, but is too busy so he asks if I will instead. Afterward, we're laying there waiting for Brad to get back and talking and she's really tired so I leave and go back to campus. There's some guy there taking pictures and I try to avoid him and go into the Dairy Queen and flirt with the girl behind the counter. I go back to the dorm, but someone has pulled the fire alarm, so I hang out in the parking lot with Nikki Meyers and Jerry's old girlfriend, Tracey.

1) It's late at night, and I'm driving a forklift across the flightline. I'm really cold, and I don't know where my jacket it. I stop the forklift behind a big building and huddle next to the engine to get warm. I start driving again, and somehow end up at Nate and Natsuko's house. I feel bad about waking them up in the middle of the night, but I ring the doorbell anyway. I ask if I can sleep there for a while, and they let me in. They give me a blanket and tell me to sleep on the extra bed in Jake's room. I'm trying to be really quiet and not wake Jake.

1) I'm back in high school in English class. The teacher has given an assignment to write a report on a random word of her choice, and the word is different for each student. One girl's word was "Utah" and she gave this big speech. Another girl's word was "reality." I'm freaking out because I don't know when I'm supposed to give my report and I don't know what my word is. Plus, I'm really worried about my popularity, so i'm trying really hard to be funny and outgoing.

2) I'm on a short vacation with my parents and we're staying in a hotel and trying to decide on which amusement park to go to.

1) I'm at some kind of retreat with a bunch of Readiness people, and the retreat is at my Grandparents' house. My Grandmother has cooked tons of food for us, but everyone is really excited about playing games, that not much of the food is eaten. I feel bad, so I start gorging myself on all this food on the table.

1) I'm shopping at some really expensive designer store somewhere, and when I pick up a pair of shoes, the sales lady is really mean to me.

1) I'm at the Hospitality House and we're all getting ready to go to a movie, but nobody can decide on which movie to see. Everyone is playing video games and I get really frustrated and leave.

2) I'm sponsoring a new troop and I pick her up late at night from the airport, and the first thing we do is find her an apartment. We find one that's owned by this really old couple and it's kind of in their basement, but it includes a car, so she moves in, but the old couple keeps coming around all the time and they're really annoying.

3) I'm in some kind of support group with about 80 people and Roseanne Barr is leading it. Liam Neeson is there and confesses that he used to be gay, but not anymore. Since it's my first time there, Roseanna asks me to pray at the end.

4) I'm going to some kind of musical and I'm going to my seat which ends up being on the stage. This girl is there with a small TV watching Aretha Franklin videos. The musical starts and it's in this huge auditorium and it's packed. All of the sudden, I realise I'm in the musical, so I get up and sit in the audience. The Backstreet Boys show up and sing a song. Then I get back on stage and start singing and dancing. Then some mascot that looks like a purple dinosaur shows up and half the audience runs over to get pictures of it. I get upset and leave.

1) It's Halloween and I'm going around to different parties and watching scary movies. I end up at Kelley Alvey's house and I'm trying to figure out a program on her computer. Paul Dinkins and my Aunt Karen are there, too, and I tell them I'm getting ready to leave for Iraq.

2) I'm in Iraq and I'm doing maintenance on latrine trailers with Matt Damon. We're working and we have the trailer closed down, but some guy comes in anyway, and we start yelling at him.

3) I'm at home and my parents and brother come in and my brother has bought porn for the whole family as gifts. Mine is two movies and two dirty novels.

1) I'm back in Morganfield hanging out with my family and a bunch of people I grew up with. For some reason, I tell my friends that my Mom is cousins with Lynn Lovern's Mom, which is totally not true. Nobody believes me, so I get my Mom and we take a walk through the woods. I ask her if it's true, and she says it's not, so I ask her if she'll tell everyone it is. Then my Dad and this other guy and I are walking through the woods looking for different trails.

1) I'm going to get ice cream with Naomi Watts, and we somehow end up on this deserted island. King Kong is there, but it's a girl and she seems really ill. We try to take care of her, but it's like she doesn't want out help. We travel around the island looking for someone else who might know something, but we can't find anyone.

1) I'm at a huge concert hall and it's really crowded. I have a great seat toward the front. There is an entire ensemble on stage with a piano in the center. The audience is kind of restless. A guy comes out and starts playing, and as soon as he hits the first note, the crowd goes silent. He starts playing the greatest song I've ever heard. Suddenly, I realise I'm the guy playing the piano, and it's like I'm on stage playing and in the crowd listening at the same time. The song builds and builds and the whole ensemble joins in. I'm playing stronger than I've ever played before and I'm pounding on the keys as hard as I can. When the song ends, the entire place goes into an uproar. I'm trying to walk out of the audience and off the stage at the same time, but there are so many people, I can't move.

1) I'm going to the theatre with Garah. It's really crowded and we sit down. There are ladies going around getting drink orders, but Garah wants to go to the concession stand. I try to give her some money, but she refuses. She gets back and my phone rings. I get called in to work. I leave the theatre, and when I get to work, Stephanie Walker is there. She tells me she needs my help at an old boat house. I walk to the boat house, and Dad and Chris are there. We all get in this boat, and start heading out on a big lake. We get to another dock, and Ken and Monica Larmon are there. They're just leaving. Ken says he tried to fix it, but he can't.

1) I'm in the World Trade Center witha bunch of people. The planes have already hit, and we all know the towers are going to collapse. Everyone is running around trying to decide what to do. I start to try running down the stairs, but this girl stops me and tells me to get in the elevator. We won't be able to take it to the bottom, but we'll be safe in there until they can dig us out. I get in and everyone just waits. A few minutes later, we all start falling, but everyone is okay when we land. The firemen dig us out, and there are all kinds of reporters all over the place asking us questions, but I don't want to talk to anyone.

1) I'm sitting in a movie theatre and watching previews before the movie comes on. There are quite a few people there. The sound on the movie goes out, so I stand up and walk into a door on the side of the theatre which leads to an office. I pick up the phone and I'm going to try to call the projection room to tell them there's no sound. I can't find the number, but I hear everyone in the theatre running around. I go out and everyone's rushing toward the doors. I ask a lady what's going on, and she says there's a tornado coming. I go to the door and open it and the tornado is right there. I close the door and tell the lady to get under the chairs.

1) I go into PT, and the people there are all people I know, but, for some reason, I feel like I'm there on the wrong day. I just stand there up against the wall and wait for them to say something to me. Stephanie is doing push-ups, and she finally stands up and just stares at me.

1) I'm hanging with Kyle at his new apartment, and my commander and his wife are there. Kyle is trying to get a job with my commander. I tell Kyle I like his new apartment much better than his old one. I try to make small talk with my commander, but Kyle keeps hitting on his wife, and it's making me really uncomfortable.

1) I'm home visiting family, and my family and Garah's family are all going out to brunch together. We go to a restaurant, and as we're waiting in the lobby, I notice that my Mom has gotten really fat. We're walking to our table and I think I see Sue Shouse, a lady who went to my Church when I was growing up. I go ahead and sit down anyway. We're looking at the menu, and I look over and see Donna Jo Mason, and her daughters, Laura and Camille, sitting with Sue. I tell my Dad what to order for me, and go over and talk to them. Donna Jo refers to Laura as "Cavanar," but I think that maybe she got married to a guy who's last name is "Cavanaugh," but that's just the way she pronounces it in her Kentucky accent. Laura tells me she's engaged, and shows me her ring. I start talking to Camille, and I want to ask about her kids, but the only one I can remember is Tyler, even though I know she has three. And I can't remember her married name, either.

1) I'm hanging out with Lindsay Lohan a lot, and I kinda want to date her, but I don't know how she feels about it. We're visiting Shaun Chauta in Italy, and she's upset because she wants to attend a certain school somewhere in Australia, but there's no gymnastics program there. I'm giving her a hug and I want to kiss her, but I don't. Then she loses her cell phone. We look all over Shaun's house, but we can't find it. We got to the store to buy a new one, and Lindsay is still upset.

2) I'm at the house in Morganfield with a bunch of friends. We order pizza, but I walk to go get it. I get back and we eat it all and fall asleep. I wake up the next morning and there are all these weird people in black capes walking around outside. We're all freaked out, but we decide to go into the garage and grab shovels and baseball bats to scare them off. We walk into the living room and Mom and Dad and their friends are in there. I ask if the weird people are all still outside, and Mom says no. I figure they were just trying to be creepy because it's Halloween. I go back into my room and reach into my pocket. I pull out four different cell phones, but none of them are mine. I look all over for my cell phone, but I can't find it. My friend Nick tells me to fill out a form at the hospital, and they'll give me money for a new one.

1) I'm out partying with Chris, Jerry, and a bunch of Jerry's friends. We're walking around a hotel and I go into a room where a bunch of guys are drinking beer. I chat with them for a bit, and then Catherine Keener comes in. She makes me lick her shoes. We stay out really late, and Chris and I take Catherine home and find that we only have a few minutes to get to Church. I skip showering and just wet down my hair. We all go to Church, and everyone is staring at us. We're talking to a few people who have this book on diseases you can get from being bitten by different kinds of moths. I start thinking about wrestling around with this giant moth with huge teeth.

1) I'm at a big party with Abby and her family and there's tons of other people there, too. George Bush is there, and he goes to the front of the room and announces that John Edwards will be the new President of the United States. John Edwards steps out and I start cheering, but nobody else is very happy about it. Caleb Moore is there, and he runs up to get John's autograph. Music starts playing, and we all start dancing. I end up in my underwear. I go back to the table where I was sitting, and John comes over and starts playing cards with me.

1) The planet has been taken over by dinosaurs, and there are only a few humans left. Alex and I are living in some kind of compound with about ten other people. It's really difficult and strict, and we're always being instructed on how to deal with going outside the compound and what to do if you encounter a dinosaur. One day, we're outside the compound, and this guy drives up in a pick-up truck, and he's waving a gun around. I try to take the gun away, but he starts shooting it at me. I hide beneath the truck, and then jump up and take the gun away. I'm trying to salvage as many bullets as possible so we can fight the dinosaurs if necessary. Alex gets upset and leaves the compound to try to find his parents. One guy's stuff turns up missing, and everyone blames Alex, but I tell them Alex would never do anything like that.

2) I'm nominated for an Oscar, and I'm going to be escorting Scarlett Johansson to the ceremony. I'm staying in a fancy hotel in LA, and I see Lindsay Lohan, who's also nominated. We start talking and I'm excited because Scarlett is my date, but I get the impression Lindsay doesn't like Scarlett. Lindsay has just gotten her hair done, and we get on the elevator together so she can go to her room and put her dress on. I tell her I've never been around so many famous people before and she acts like it's no big deal.

1) I'm going to McDonald's in a Honda CR-V, and I get there and it's really crowded. I just want a hamburger, and I wait in line for a very long time. I finally get to the front and they get me my food, and my order is wrong, so I have to wait in line again to try to get the right food. I end up spending most of the day waiting in line at McDonald's. When I finally leave, my food is cold and it's dark outside. I'm driving back into a really big city, and Caleb Wendt is with me, and we start talking about the truck I'm driving.

1) I'm hanging out with some of our friends in Evansville, and we're all getting ready to go hiking to the top of this big mountain. I'm the youngest, and they keep asking me if I'm sure I can handle it, and I tell them that if I can handle Mt. Fuji, then I can handle this one. It's the night before we're supposed to climb and a bunch of people have gone out drinking, but I stayed behind to hang out with friends and watch movies. I start thinking about places to stay once we get to the top of the mountain.

1) It's really late at night, and I'm walking around downtown with my friend Chad. We're in this alley and Chad wants to get something to eat. I don't think there's anything open that late, but we see a sushi restaurant, so I go over to see if it's open. I go inside, and this lady takes me to a seat. The restaurant is really fancy and trendy. I sit down and call Chad to tell him to come on in. While I'm waiting for him, my friend Patrick starts texting me, but I don't pay attention.

1) I'm at work and I overhear a bunch of guys saying they're going to break into the shop and steal a bunch of stuff. I tell them I want to help, so we all plan on when to meet that night. I get to the shop and it's dark and everyone else is already there. I start feeling bad, so I go into the back of the shop and lay on the couch. I fall asleep and wake up the next morning. Everyone else is already at work and they're all freaking out about all the stuff that has been stolen. They ask me if I know anything, but I don't because I was asleep the whole time. I walk outside and Ellen Degeneres is there, and she's offering me moral support and we have a great conversation.

2) I'm in high school and getting ready to graduate. Everyone in my class is walking out to the football field for practice. I'm relieved that I'm not involved in any extra-curicular activities so I can just follow everyone else. The guy standing next to me is this big football player, and he's really dumb, and I'm nervous he's going to walk the wrong way and I'm just going to follow him.

1) My Dad is having a Shriner's convention, and I'm helping to set everything up. Destiny's Child is performing, and we're all backstage. Beyonce wants to perform their charity song, and I tell them nobody wants to hear their crappy charity song. All anybody wants to hear is "Bootylicious." The girls go out on stage and sing all their songs and everyone is happy. Afterward, we're taking all the chairs down, and some guy gets frustrated with me because I mixed together two different kinds of chairs.

1) I'm going to the movies by myself. I sit down at the theatre, and realise I'm seeing "Independence Day II." I don't want to see it, but I'm already there, so I just stay. There are parts in the movie where the aliens are sticking these big metal things into peoples' chests, and I feel like I'm in the movie. The movie ends and it's really bad. The theatre is really crowded, and it takes me a while to get outside. I go back out to my truck and see that I've left it unlocked with the windows down and the driver's door wide open. Luckily, nobody has taken anything. I drive for a while, but decide that it's such a nice day, I'm going to walk the rest of the way home. I somehow end up walking by the CE dorm and look down and see that I'm only wearing my tighty-whiteys. I'm feeling pretty good about how my body looks, so it doesn't really bother me, but when I'm walking by the dorm manager's office, I see a big pile of clothes, some of which are mine, so I start going through them. This girl walks out of the dorm manager's office and starts staring at me. I'm waiting for her to ask why I'm going through all the clothes, but she never does, so I just keep looking for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, just so I don't get arrested while walking the rest of the way home.

1) I'm in Misawa and I'm hanging out with Paul and Trish. Trish is pregnant again and goes into labour. We take a helicopter to the hospital. Paul and Trish go inside while I try to shut off the helicopter. I go inside and look for Paul and Trish. I pass by the little room where all the newborns are on display, and Paul and Trish are already in there. They bring out their new baby and I get to hold her.

2) I'm back in high school and I'm sitting in class. The teacher finished his lecture, but doesn't want to let us go home early, so we decide to play charades. I go first and I'm trying to get everyone to say "sign language." I get them to say "sign," but nobody can ever get "language," so I give up and sit down.

1) I'm at my old Church in Morganfield. A bunch of us are running around and laughing and having a good time. I see Rachel Red Cloud and she wants us all to go over to her house. I leave to go find my car, and when I get in, I suspect my brother has been driving it because the seat has been moved and the radio station has been changed. I start driving and following everyone to Rachel's house. We're driving around the backside of the Church, and they're doing all kinds of new construction.

1) I move into a new house, and I'm showing people around. It's a cool house because it goes in a big loop, but when it comes back around, the door opens behind the bathtub. I go to work and we're trying to stack a bunch of chairs, but they keep falling over. I'm trying to decide what to do, and we end up leaving them unfolded and placing them at one end of the auditorium. After work, we all go out for beers, and I'm trying to decide which to drink. I'm there with a bunch of people and I'm feeling really good because I'm telling jokes and everyone is laughing.

2) I'm in a plane with my parents. I don't know where we're going, but the plane has to make an emergency landing in Tokyo. I'm excited because I want to see Japan again. We get off the plane and we're walking around downtown.

1) Lana and I are on a double date with another couple. We are in Lana's car, and she's driving. We go to the theatre to see if Brokeback Mountain is playing. It is, and we're parking, but Lana pulls up next to a curb that's painted red. We talk for a minute about if we'll get towed, but we go inside anyway. The movie has just started, and when we sit down, there are only a few other people in the theatre.

1) I'm on a retreat with a bunch of people from Church. We're at the beach somewhere, and, by coincidence, my parents and some other family are staying in the same town. We've been hanging out on the beach a lot and having Church services. One night, my parents ask me to come by their hotel room. I get there and they start lecturing me about Brad having a hard time at school because of sports. And then they start asking why a bunch of the single people leave Church after the praise and worship. After that, my aunt Suzie tells me I'm not a very good shoe salesman.

1) I'm at work, and everyone decides to go to the chow hall for lunch. We get there, and all the tables are already marked b people putting their hats on them. We get our food, and come back to find that all the hats are still there, but nobody is sitting down yet. I get really frustrated and start throwing people hats off of tables. After lunch, I'm walking down a hallway and get pulled into a room by Billy Bob Thornton and Tim Robbins. Don is there, too, and Billy Bob and Tim are trying to get him to run for President. We're talking and suddenly, Tim starts making out with Don. Billy Bob gets jealous and pulls out a big knife and kills them both. I just kinda stand there, and grab my hat and walk out. I'm nervous because there's blood all over my clothes and I'm trying to cover it up. I go into a store and pick up a soda and nobody says anything about the blood.

1) I wake up, look at my phone, and see that it's 9:30, and I was supposed to be at PT at 6. I freak out and jump out of bed. I'm freaking out even more because it's still dark outside, and I'm hoping my clock is wrong, but all the other clocks in my house say the same thing. I grab my phone and start dialing my parents number, but realise they won't be at home, so I try to remember the number for my Mom's office. I go into my kitchen and everything is a mess.

1) I'm living at home, and this 20-something lady comes to live with us because she wants to take classes at our church. Dad asks me to show her around. She seems very cold and suspicious at first, but she warms up and ends up being a very nice girl. We all go to the beach to visit with my Mom's sisters. They're all arguing when we get there, and my Mom tries to make peace between them all. They start talking about all the sugar they ate as little girls. Then we all go see Gwen Stefani in concert and Gwen is throwing her shoes to everyone in the crowd.

1) I'm on a deployment and hanging out in my tent. Garah is there and we're talking about our careers. Garah says she's going to get out of the Air Force, but I tell her I'm staying in. I'm talking with some other guy about getting promoted. I'm worried about making Tech Sergeant on my next cycle, especially before I hit my ten-year mark.

1) I'm driving around up in Evansville, and I decide to go visit my grandparents. I get to their house, and my Mom is already there. I go inside and we talk and eat. I got back the next day, and my Mom is there again. The third day, I go back, and my Mom is there and she's bought a new Jeep. I go inside and ask her about it. She says she doesn't like it because it's too big, so I tell her she should get a truck like mine, but she's not sure about it.

1) I'm walking around in some strange city, when suddenly, everyone's skin turns inside out. Everyone's freaking out, but I just go and get in the shade. We all realise we can't be in the sun too long and we have to stay moist. I move into a hotel and I'm going to go use the pool, but the hotel starts charging people to use the pool, and I get all upset. Everything is fine for a few months, but something happens and we all decide we need to migrate to a better location. These big green aliens that kinda look like grasshoppers come down and help us. We're all in a big caravan and the leader of the big aliens gets really sick. Everyone is trying to figure out what to do, so they perform surgery on him. They open him up and I'm standing there, and they ask me to look inside to see if I can find out what's wrong. But I'm so disgusted, I can't do it. Everyone gets really upset with me, and I start to turn my head toward the alien and open my eyes.

1) I get shipped to a new base or something, and I have all my suitcases. I walk into the dorm and go to my room. I have a roommate, but he's out right now, so I kinda drop my stuff in the middle of the room. A bunch of guys come in and start talking to me. At first, I feel awkward, but they all seem like nice guys and we chat for a bit. We all go outside. The base is like a compound in the middle of nowhere. There are all kinds of people there, and they're all really paranoid about these killer bunnies. I see a pack of the bunnies, and they're really cute, but everyone tells me they'll rip you to shreds if you get too close. We're all out in the compound, and suddenly a siren goes off so everyone starts running from the bunnies.

1) I'm driving this huge truck around base looking for a certain building. I find the building, go inside, and start wandering around. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but I end up wandering out onto the flightline. There's a big cart full of bombs, and I accidently bump into them, and they start rolling toward a fleet of F-22s. I try to stop them, but the ramp is icy, and I just slide. The cart is about to hit a plane, and I finally stop the cart. Luckily, nobody was watching. I run back into the building, get into the truck, and start driving back to my shop. I find myself on a narrow alley, and there are people walking all over the place. There's a guy in the truck with me, but I don't know who he is. We're getting ready to turn a corner, when this guy and his two little girls walk right in front of me. I feel the truck run over them, and I immediately stop and start freaking out. The guy next to me gets out, but I can't move. I finally jump out of the truck, and I'm relieved to see the two girls are okay, but the Dad doesn't look good. The ambulance is already there, and they load the guy up and drive off. I'm just standing there, crying.

1) I'm in this big courtyard surrounded by some kind of apartment building on three sides. There are a bunch of guys watching television on one side and further down, Ellen Degeneres is watching a movie with some other girl. I go talk to Ellen, but I think I start to annoy her, so I go out into the courtyard and run around. There are fallen leaves all over the ground in huge piles, so I start running and jumping into the piles of leaves and rolling around in them. I get up and go see that the guys are watching TRL, and Madonna is on there and she says she's going to be in the street dancing to her new song, so everyone should come and dance with her. I go out into the street and there are tons of people out there and we all start dancing.

1) I'm out in the country in Union Country, where I grew up. A guy I went to high school with lives out there, and I'm walking to his house. I have to go through this red fence, and into a big barn with a bunch of farm machinery. There's a bunch of guys from high school in there talking about tractors, and I feel really out of place.

1) I'm on some kind of Air Force sports team and we're practicing in the gym. Chief Brown is the coach and we're running laps, but the only shoes I have are my Birkenstock clogs, and they keep falling off. I'm trying to run, but it feels like I'm running in water and I can't move my legs very fast. Chief says if I don't run faster, I'm going to have to run more laps.

2) I'm working backstage at a Gwen Stefani concert, and the stage keeps moving around. This big fat lady in the audience keeps trying to jump up on the stage, and I'm worried she's going to get hurt, so I keep trying to push her down, but she starts cursing at me and tries even harder.

3) I'm coming back from some kind of TDY and my squadron is on a bus. I sit down in an empty seat and MSgt Rogers sits next to me. He starts giving a speech to everyone on the bus about how disappointed he is in our performance. Then he sits down and starts talking to me. The bus starts going and I think the bus driver is lost. We start going down a big hill, and at the bottom is a big lake. The bus goes into the lake, but it's not very deep. We all get off and Alex is there.

1) I'm at Sea World, and I'm swimming around this big tank with a bunch of dolphins. A dolphin swims up next to me, and bites my finger and tries to take me to the bottom, but I get free. I swim to the side and get up on the ledge. A big truck comes along and starts dumping a bunch of dead dolphins into the tank. I try to climb higher, but I keep falling in.

2) Paul, Trish, and I are going on a road trip to my house, but there's a horrilbe accident and traffic is really backed up. We get out of the car and start walking around. I get my video camera out and we start filming each other. Then we see this huge motor home try to speed around the crash and it ends up flying over the side rails and catching on fire. We leave and get to my house and talk to my Dad for a while. Dooce is there and she and Paul discover that they're long lost cousins. We go to Church and both Caleb Moore and Caleb Wendt are there.

1) I'm riding around in a pickup truck with Caleb and Nina, and we're making plans to take a trip over Christmas. Nina keeps making a big deal about the fact she has to work on Christmas Day.

2) I'm working in Barnes & Noble, and I see this Japanese guy put a book inside his jacket. I start chasing him, and he runs out of the store. We're running down the street and it's in a big city and there are tons of people around, so I keep bumping into people. Another guy helps me try to corner him, but he keeps getting away. He crosses a major street, and just as he's getting ready to go onto the sidewalk, I jump and grab his legs and take him down.

3) I'm in an apartment that looks like the inside of the house in Morganfield. There are a couple kids there, and I think I'm babysitting. Suddenly, in the kitchen, water starts coming down from inside the ceiling. A lot of water. I don't know what to do, so I start putting towels down, but it doesn't do much good. A cop knocks on the door, but I just ignore him. He starts yelling at me to open the door, but I'm too busy worrying about the water in the kitchen. I find a big pan and start catching the water and tossing it in the sink each time it fills up. And then, just as suddenly as it started, the water stops.

1) I'm at a restaurant with Lindsay Lohan and some people from work. I get up to go to the bathroom, and Scott (a guy on RST with me) follows me. He starts talking to me while I'm peeing, and it makes me uncomfortable. We all leave and get into my truck. I drop everyone off at my apartment and make a run to the mall. My clock says it's only 8, so I have an hour left before it closes. I got to the T-Mobile place because I want to see when my contract expires, but it's already closed. I get kinda upset, and I'm looking around to see if they have hours posted. A couple guys come along that work there, but they don't open up.

1) I'm at some kind of Church retreat in a hotel in Gulf Shores, Alabama. I'm staying in a room with Brian Vertucci, an old fraternity brother of mine. We're walking back from breakfast and trying to decide what to do for the day. We want to go swimming, but we're not sure where. I tell him about how my parents were there a few weeks earlier. That night, we decide to go out bar hopping, but he wants to go to a different bar than I do.

1) Alex and I are in the lobby of a huge hotel in a big city. There are lots of people walking around, and we are trying to decide where to eat lunch. There are tons of restaurants, and I don't really care where we eat, but Alex is being really picky. We go into a restaurant and talk to the hostess and ask her how long it will be before we can sit, but then Alex changes his mind and we leave to go find another place. This repeats itself several times. Alex decides to check out a place on the second story, and I walk into another restaurant. I sit on a bench with a bunch of other people. A pregnant girl in BDUs sits across from me. We start talking and she says to me, "Once the Lord gives me this baby, I don't care if I ever eat again."

1) I'm in the dorm back in Vegas and I get a call really early one morning telling me I need to be at PT, so I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. I wonder if I should shave before I go to PT. I go back and sit on my bed and The Simpsons is on TV. I get to the gym and there are only a few people there. One of our female LTs is there and we run together.

2) Caleb and I go into Wal-Mart. I don't want to buy anything, but Caleb wants to look around. We sit at a table near the front of the store, and they start playing really good music. Caleb and I are freaking out because they're playing such great music at Wal-Mart. This big redneck guy comes along and tells us we're going to have to move because he's going to use the table for his barbrcue. We get up and go to the electronics department so we can hopefully find out who's DJing.

1) I'm sitting on the bed in my parents' bedroom and the phone rings. It's some girl who says she knows me and wants to meet me at a restaurant. I ask my parents where the restaurant is, and they give me directions. I get there, and she walks up at the same time. We sit down and talk for a while. I go back home and the phone rings again. This time it's Jerry and he tells me he'll be in town, so I should come meet him at the airport. I shower and get dressed and go pick Jerry up. We go to the mall, and I realise I haven't fixed my hair, so we stop to get some gel, and the lady at the store starts spraying us with all kinds of cologne. I end up spending a lot of money.

1) I'm part of some elite, secret crime fighting team, and we discover a bunch of hidden tunnels. We start following them and one of them comes up in the front yard of the house in Morganfield. We crawl up above ground and see my Dad playing softball. He's trying out for a softball team, so we tell him we'll practice with him. I'm running for the ball, and I knock over the mailbox. We try to put it back up, but when we're piling dirt around it, a lot of it falls back into the underground tunnel. Then we see this guy walking up the street. He gets closer and we see he's a Native American. Suddenly, there are tons of others behind him and they start running toward us. We go inside the house, but they're getting in a trying to kill us. I run out the back, and start leaping really far across the hills.

1) I'm at the house in Morganfield. My parents are there, but they have to leave to go get my grandparents, who are coming over for dinner. Mom asks me to clean up and start dinner. After they're gone, I'm working on cleaning up, but these zombie children start walking around in the yard, and I'm worried they'll get in and try to bite me. Mom and Dad get back, and they're kinda upset because I haven't gotten much done. I try to explain to them about the zombie children, but they don't believe me.

2) I'm in some kind of mental institution (possibly because of the zombie children story?), but it's in a cabin in the woods. I'm in this really long bay with about 20 other people, mostly guys, but there are a few girls. An orderly comes through every so often to feed us, but he's really mean and makes fun of us. One time he comes through and tells us he's been mixing human flesh into the food. He tells me one of the people he killed was "Katie" who he thought was my girlfriend. I told him I didn't date anyone named Katie, and we all jump out of our beds and tackle him and tie him up. We go out back and try to get someone to rescue us.

1) I'm in some kind of college class and Ben Stiller is the professor. I don't know anyone else in the class, but we start talking about which Black Eyed Peas songs we like. I tell everyone I can't stand the "My Humps" song, and they all get upset.

1) I'm at a dinner at the Webers' house with a bunch of people, including the Wheelers. It's great to see them again, and we talk and hug a lot. I look over to another table and see Dr. McIver, one of my music professors from college, and his son, Rob. Rob is there because he's taking over the Misawa Hospitality House. I have to go to the bathroom, and when I go in, there's water all over the floor, so I decide I'll try to fix it, but Jack and Lucy keep coming in, and I start talking to them, and other people are wanting to use the bathroom.

2) I'm in New York City taking care of this little puppy. I'm walking around the streets carrying it, trying to find a home for it. I stop in a barber shop and the puppy jumps on the floor and poops. The barber guy doesn't really seem to mind and cleans it all up. I ask him if he'd like to take care of it, but he just stares at me.

1) Paul and I are out in the country driving a flat-bed truck looking for two deer that somehow escaped from somewhere and we got tasked with catching them. We find the deer in a field and cut the barbed wire and the deer get in the back of the truck. We go to the Hospitality House and I download all the pictures I took from the deer adventure to the computer there. There are lots of people there, and everyone is getting ready to go to sleep, but I'm not tired. I start watching TV and Saturday Night Live comes on. I start laughing at one of the skits, and everyone gets frustrated at me.

1) It's Christmas Eve, and I'm at the Hospitality House in Misawa and it looks just like my grandparents' house. I'm playing cards with Amy and Jeremiah, a guy from work. There's nobody else there yet. I start thinking about how much food is in the kitchen because if a bunch of people show up before the next morning, we'll want to have breakfast and the commissary is already closed. Then, Jeni-Bomb comes in from the kitchen, and she's already made pancakes, but she calls them something else. I think it's kind of odd to have pancakes on Christmas Eve, but I'm more concerned if there's any syrup.

2) Alex and I are moving into an apartment together. It's on the 6th floor of a tall building in a big city, and it's kind of in a bad part of town. It's a studio apartment, and we decide to paint it. We place our beds right across from each other, and I start thinking we're never going to get any sleep because every night when we lay down, we'll start talking and then it will be morning.

3) I'm working in an office and I'm frequently running errands. One time, I get back, and there's a new girl working at the desk adjacent to mine. She's very timid and everyone else in the office talks about her. One day, Johnny is going to give her crap, and I stop him. He says he's just trying to make her tougher, but I tell him that if everyone would be nicer, we wouldn't have to be tougher.

1) I'm in this big warehouse with some people from my squadron and it's night time. This one guy is telling scary stories. People start disappearing and this other girl and I start getting kinda scared. One of the doors to the warehouse opens, but since it's dark outside, we can't really see anything. She and I realise we're the only ones left, so we just hold on to each other and stand in the middle of the building.

1) I'm walking around Wal-Mart and I hear Green Day playing outside and remember they're having another show. I didn't get tickets since I just saw them, but I'm kinda bummed because I wouldn't have minded seeing them again. I start thinking about how I'm going to write about it on my blog. I go to the employee office because they have a paycheck for me, then I go stand in line at the customer service desk to see if they'll cash it. There's a guy from my squadron in line in front of me.

1) I'm in this huge stadium, but I'm not sure if we're there to watch some kind of sporting event or a concert or what. I'm sitting next to this girl and I think we're on a date, but she starts talking about this other guy. Then, there's this detective walking around because there's been a murder, and the girl I'm with knows the person that was killed. I'm walking around trying to find the crime scene. I walk back to my seat, and the girl tells me to leave, because I can't really do any good. I go to the dorm on base, and I'm waiting for Brian, one of my troops, to call because he needs help moving.

2) I'm driving through New Orleans (although it looks strangely like Morganfield) at night in a '57 Chevy convertible. The streets are wet and there are only a few street lights working. Sean "Diddy" Combs is driving another '57 Chevy right next to me, and we're kind of racing, but I end up passing him. I drive out into the country and end up at a condo owned by this old lady. I stay at her place and take care of her cat while she goes back to her winter home for a while. I leave the condo and start driving out in the country, but it's still dark outside and even with the bright lights on, I can't really see very far in front of me. I get really nervous, so I stop and turn around and hope I can make it back to the condo without having a wreck.

1) I'm at a party with a bunch of work people. Johnny Frost is there and we're having a conversation about a bunch of punk bands, and I don't really know what I'm talking about, but I'm faking it pretty good. I want to leave and go to the Hospitality House, so I fake being really tired and tell them I have to get to bed. I go to the HH and meet the new missionaries. They have a huge dog who starts barking at me.

2) I'm staying at a big hotel and I'm sharing a room with Sleater-Kinney. We have a night full of great conversation and the next morning, they have to leave to go play in another city. I leave the room and I'm walking outside and I stop by a big gospel church and sit down for the service. The choir comes out and they sound great. I stay for the whole service, and as I'm getting ready to leave, everyone I see is really nice to me.

1) I'm walking through the gym in Misawa, and I'm on my way from the front entrance back to the cardio room. As I pass the basketball court, I see this girl running the perimeter, and she has these shoes on that make her bounce really high. I've got my iPod on and I'm listening to a song by the Shins. I start wistling along, and then I get worried that people will get annoyed and maybe I'm wistling out of tune because I can't really hear myself over the music anyway.

1) I'm walking through this huge mall with some random people I don't know. I stop and see Abby, who's working at a store there. She's on top of a big ladder, and I stand there for a long time because I don't want to say anything that would make her fall. I keep standing there and she doesn't see me, so I decide to walk around some more and come back later. I get some lemonade, and go to Banana Republic. Then I walk back to Abby's store, and ask her when she gets off. She talks to me for a while, but I feel like I'm distracting her from her work and I don't want her to get in trouble, so I leave.

1) I'm in my fraternity house, and Chandler and Monica from "Friends" are there. There is some kind of contest going on, but I don't really know what it is, so I'm just wandering around to everyone's rooms to socialise, but everytime I go into someone's room, they're on their way out.

1) Dad, Lisa Kudrow, and I are riding around. It kinda looks like Morganfield, but I'm giving directions to base, so we must be in Utah. I have Lisa's purse and she wants something out of it, but I have to take all this stuff out of it to get to the thing she wants. We start making all kinds of jokes about "Friends." We get to the base, and suddenly Keri, my cousin, is there with us, too. We talk about going to haunted houses. There's one on base, so we go get in line.

1) I'm at my shop, and everyone is talking about the exercise coming up. I'm feeling lucky since all I have to do is guard weapons. Mr. Futakawame, our civilian foreman when I was in Japan, comes in and he's really upset because one of the GI bosses quit. Futa tries to give the tool belt, which signifies leadership, to me, but I don't want it, either. I give it back to him, and he runs off. I tell him I want to move to another shop. I go get in the shower, but when I get out, I can't find my clothes, so I walk around the shop naked. I'm worried that if I move shops, I won't be able to guard weapons for the exercise and they'll make me wear chem gear. I leave the shop and find myself in the suburb of the house in Morganfield. I start walking to the house, but there are lots of people out, and I'm worried they'll call the cops on me. I start running toward our house, which takes a while because a lot of people around have fences and I don't want to climb over them while I'm naked. I get to the house and realise I have no way of getting inside, so I run to the pine trees behind the next door neighbour's house, so I can hide there until I can figure out what to do. As I'm getting closer, I can feel myself waking up, and I start to float in the air.

1) I'm working at Gap in Vegas again, and lots of the same people still work there. It's my first night, and whenever any customers come in, I do my best to greet them and point them in the right direction. On my break, I buy a sweatshirt. Melissa comes in to say hi, and a few other people are with her. I talk to them for a bit, but I don't want to look like too much of a slacker, so I tell them I have to get back to work. Later, when we're getting ready to close, my manager tells me I should have gone through her to buy my sweatshirt because it was an employee purchase. Also, they list everyone's sales for the night, and the only thing I have is the sweatshirt I bought.

1) I'm driving a brand new Camaro out in the country to my squadron picnic. I pull in, and I'm hoping everyone sees me and likes my car. I park and get out and walk through this big house. I see everyone out back, and it's mostly people from my squadron in Japan. The picnic is being held this really rich guy's house and he has two big rollercoasters in the back. I see Adam Watson and Mikey Kiel, so I start talking to them. Mikey seems really depressed, so I'm trying to cheer him up. I tell him we should go to Vegas one weekend, and he says he's trying to save money so his brothers can visit.

2) I'm walking through a big mall, and I go into a department store. The sales ladies are being really nice to me, but I don't see anything I really like, so I feel kinda bad. Some guy walks up to me, like he knows me, and I end up buying him a shirt, tie, and belt. There are these two teenage girls there buying prom dresses and making a lot of noise. I walk out and get on the escalator, and at one point, it starts going backwards, and I can't walk fast enough to make it to the top. Some lady on the escalator with me is an ultra-conservative radio personality and she falls off because she can't keep up.

1) I'm walking through this big office building because I heard that Garah is working there, and I want to go visit her. I walk for a really long time, and I finally see her handing out leaflets and a kiosk. I talk to her for a bit, and she seems really down. I ask her how Levi is doing. She leaves and I follow her. She's driving in her truck and goes into a grocery store. I try to follow her, but I go into the wrong store. I turn around and find the right one. I go inside, but I can't find her, so I look around and a few other random things like books and patio furniture.

1) I'm a back-up dancer on tour with Madonna, and we're in the middle of a performance, between songs, and we're changing costumes backstage. We're getting ready to go out to perform "Vogue" but someone has misplaces Madonna's costume, so everyone is really freaking out. I'm just sitting in the dressing room and then someone finds it so we finish the performance. We're in a different city, and we're performing this song where we're wearing these really weird gold outfits and jumping in and out of these doors on the stage, and I keep accidentally going in the wrong door. All of the sudden, all these people come in the arena, and they're all evacuees from the hurricanes. Madonna tells them all they can stay and see the show for free, and she even decides to start over from the beginning so they don't miss anything.

1) I'm with my parents and a bunch of their friends on a road trip. We stop at this theatre and watch some kind of Biblical play. After the performance, the director comes out and tells us that one of the actresses will be moving on to another production, so they have this tradition of sending them off after their last performance. The girl comes out on stage and there's this really loud shriek and she starts screaming and all these lights start flashing. It's kinda scary, but everyone starts clapping. We leave the theatre and everyone gets kinda frustrated because nobody can make the call on where to have dinner.

1) I'm riding with my Dad on his bike, and there are several other riders with us. We stop at this big house out in the country to visit a family. The family has a bunch of daughters, and we eat breakfast with them. We leave and head home to the house in Morganfield. When we get there, Chris has made the house into an audition place for people to be on American Idol. Mom and Dad don't seem to be too upset, though. The kitchen has been totally rearranged, and it makes no sense.

1) I'm hanging out at this random girl's dorm room, and she has to share a bathroom with the people next door. I go in too pee, and after I'm done, I decide I need to shave. I go to the sink and pick up a razor, but I can't find any shaving gel, so I just get the razor wet and start shaving anyway. It's not doing a very good job. Then, one of the guys from the opposite room walks in and asks me what I'm doing. I tell him I'm shaving, and he just looks at me funny.

1) I'm in New York City, and I get on the subway, but I don't really know where I'm going. I get off and go up to the street. There's graffiti everywhere, but it looks really beautiful to me, so I don't know if I'm in a good area of town or not. There are lots of rough-looking people staring at me, so I decide to get back onto the subway. I get off again, and I'm walking around, and I overhear some people say they're looking for a new roommate, so I start talking to them. I go to their house with them, and it's really old, but in a cool way, so I move in. I'm walking around and meeting lots of people and I meet the guy that owns the house. Then Pat Gamblin walks in and I ask her how she's doing.

1) I'm at this big party somewhere, and I don't really know anyone. There are some cartoon characters there, and they're being really loud and obnoxious. Someone turns on the television, and I see a sitcom starring Jay and Sarah Weldon, people I knew in high school. Things start to get really crazy, so I walk out to my car, and there's a girl in there that I don't like very much. I tell her I'm just going to hang out until the party calms down a bit, and she says she's doing the same thing. We start talking and realise that we don't dislike each other as much as we thought. She starts giving me a massage.

1) I'm deployed but it's not to the desert. We're driving around in these big motor home-type vehicles. We get back to our shop and Ryan and this other guy start playing ping pong. Ryan is losing pretty bad and he gets really upset and starts to make excuses and is being a really sore loser. I get fed up so I go into another room to play the pinball machine. When I get there, a bunch of guys are working on it and debating on whether to take the legs off or not.

1) I'm riding my old bicycle around and my old friend Justin is on the back. We're riding all over this town looking for something fun to do. We don't feel like shopping or eating or whatever, and we just can't think of anything fun to do. We end up getting on the interstate (still on the bicycle) and driving to some girl's house. We're almost there, and I see my Dad walking down the road wearing a suit. We stop and talk to him, and I tell him we're going to this girl's house for a wedding. We all get there, and find out it's the girl's Mom who is getting married. After the wedding, it's starting to get dark, and we're all sitting in the yard. I walk across the street to this building and Ellen DeGeneres is inside hosting a big lesbian party, so I stick around for a bit.

1) I'm watching some big fighting competition between people and these huge dogs, and they both have super powers. The people can shoot laser beams and the dogs talk and can fly around and stuff. It's on top of this big wall right next to a huge lake, and every time one of the dogs lose a fight, I feel really bad for them and I run down to the pit to see if I can helpt them.

1) I'm riding around with some people in a big motor home. We hear on the radio that this horrible winter storm is coming through, and they tell us to find shelter. We end up going to this huge gymnasium. It's really nice inside, and there are about 100 people there, also taking shelter. Jake Gyllenhaal is there, and he's showing us around. We go skinny dipping in the pool for a while, and then we all head to the kitchen, which is totally stocked. It's like a big party, and we're kinda hoping the bad weather lasts for a long time so we can stay for free.

1) I'm deployed to the desert, but my time is almost up and a bunch of us are getting ready to leave. I'm worried because we're supposed to be leaving in a couple days, and I haven't started my out-processing yet. Johnny, a guy in my shop, already has his done, and his wife is there visiting. We're living in these really nice dorms, and every time I go up to my room, this girl gets angry at me for walking all over the floor she just cleaned.

1) I'm in a mall with a bunch of people who are supposed to be my family, I think. They're really ghetto and we're all carrying guns with us. We walk into a store and there are these really cool sunglasses for sale, but they're $1000 bucks. One of my brothers(?) wins some kind of contest, and gets to buy the glasses for $120, but he doesn't want them. I tell him to wait until I run to the ATM so I can buy them. I go to the ATM and I accidentally hit an extra zero, so I end up pulling out $1200, and the ATM runs out of money. I go back down to the store to buy the sunglasses and there's a robbery in progress by a guy from a family that we really don't like. He attempts to leave the store, and we all gang up on him and pull out our guns. I'm shaking and I accidentally shoot him in the hip, sending him to the ground. He's still alive, and the ambulance comes and takes him away. Everyone says I'm a hero, but I feel awful. Lisa Kudrow comes up and gives me a hug and tells me she's pregnant with my baby and I start crying uncontrollably.

1) I'm at the house in Morganfield, and I'm out in the garage with my Dad. I see my brother's old bicycle, and I start thinking about fixing it up so I can ride it. I put air in the tires, but there's a hole, so they keep deflating. I walk downtown to where the bicycle shop is, and it's really difficult to walk. Every time I have to jump over a ditch, I end up falling in and getting wet. I finally get there, and I'm walking around looking at all the different bikes. I start thinking about just buying a new bike, but I wonder if I should because I hear that lots of bike riding can cause erectile disfunction later in life. While I'm walking around, I see Cameron Diaz talking to the old man who works there. I overhear her telling him she wants to go out with Dave, this guy in my shop, and I get jealous because I want to go out with Cameron.

1) I'm working with a bunch of guys in a shack in the middle of a big field. We're all working on some big machine-like thing, but I don't really know what's going on, so I just hand the guy next to me a bunch of little parts out of a bucket and hope for the best. I start singing a song, and then Thom Yorke shows up, and tells me that the tune I'm singing would be great for the new Radiohead album. He sits down and starts playing this weird musical instrument, and writing lyrics on a paper. He keeps asking for help, but I tell him I don't know anything about writing songs. Then MSgt Rogers walks in the door, and tells me that I should help Thom out and that maybe songwriting is something I would like and it wouldn't hurt to give it a try.

1) I'm in a really poor family, but they just got a lot of money, so they're building a new house, but still living in the old one, which is really in shambles. I have a bunch of older siblings, and they're all really mean to me. My sister likes to throw these big balls of wax at me, and get it in my hair and stuff. I'm always locking myself in my room and walking out on the roof, which gives way beneath me every time I walk on it. The only thing that makes me happy is when my father comes home and talks to me about airplanes.

1) I'm leaving work on a Friday afternoon, and everyone there is going to this bar downtown, so I decide to go, too. The bar is really crowded, and everyone is having a really good time, but I'm just kinda wandering around looking for people I know. I see Garah, and say "hi" but she has a bunch of her other friends there, so I don't really tag along. I see Pat, Garah's Mom, come in, so I go talk to her. She's looking for Garah, so I tell her that I'll go and look for her. I walk around the bar looking for Garah, but I can't find her. I go back and tell Pat that I can't find her, but I'll keep looking. I start walking around again and I hear this guy outside singing really loud. Everyone looks out the window, and it's this civilian guy from my shop. He's really drunk, and him and two other guys are getting into a truck to go home. He keeps singing really loud and everyone is laughing at him. I see Randy in a booth, and tell him that the guy was doing the same thing at the shop earlier that afternoon. I start walking around and see Garah again, along with Sherry and Amy, and I tell her that her Mom is there looking for her and she just rolls her eyes.

2) There are a bunch of criminals with super powers in jail, and I'm supposed to be guarding them. They all keep trying to trick me into letting them go. I tell my boss, and he says the only way to stop that is to kill them all. I don't want to kill them, but he orders me to do it, and if I don't, then I might end up dead myself. He says the best way to do it is to kill each one with their own weapon. One of the criminals has a really tiny head and his weapon is a big lasso, so I grab the lasso and try to wrap it around his neck, but he opens his mouth and it ends up gagging him. I start to feel really bad for him, and I put him back in his cell. I start talking to all the other ones, and even though I know they're all evil, I can't help but feel sorry for them.

1) I'm hanging out with my family, and my friend Kyle and I decide we want tattoos. We're all walking around and we see a bunch of tattoo parlors. We go in and make appointments for later that evening, much to the chagrin of my mother. The design I give the artist is of a big metal bus and I want it on my right shoulder. We walk around some more, and go back later for our appointments. The artist is running behind schedule and I get frustrated and leave.

2) I'm stripping at a bar, and I'm walking down this big runway, shedding clothes as I walk. I'm down to my underwear and everyone's cheering me on, so I decide to go ahead and rip my underwear off, too. I get to the end of the runway and the song ends, so I walk to the bar and order a drink. All these people are around me and laughing and telling me I did a great job, so I'm thinking at least one of them will buy me a drink, but nobody offers to pay. Since I obviously don't have my wallet on me (I'm still naked), I tell the bartender I have to go back to where my clothes are to get it. I walk back to the locker room, and get dressed. When I get back to the bar, the cops are there, and they've stopped all alcohol sales, so everyone is leaving. When I walk outside, it's really cold and rainy and there are patches of ice. The sun is starting to come up. I'm walking behind this really attractive black girl and we start to make small talk. She says goodbye and starts to walk into a building. I slip and fall on purpose hoping she'll stop and talk to me more, but when I fall, I really hurt myself. I'm bleeding from my head. The girl keeps walking, but this other guy stops. He says he's too poor to help me, but he calls these other people who are members of some cult. They're way too happy in a creepy way. They load me in the back of their minivan and start talking about how this one guy that went to their church killed someone because he was told to, but he should have known which orders to obey and which ones to ignore.

3) I'm staying with Melissa, and we decide we want to go downtown. I get in the shower, and she gets in with me. We get cleaned up, and start walking downtown. It's kinda dark, but the moon is really bright. Of in the distance, we see this guy standing in a field. We walk closer and see it's Mikey Kiel. We start calling out to him, but he doesn't hear us.

1) I'm at my old church in Morganfield, and there are several people there. We're all laying around in the foyer and socialising. I'm waiting for Trish to come and get me. We're supposed to get beer and then go to a big party. I'm worried that she won't be able to find a parking spot, but a few people leave, and Trish comes in right afterward. I go out to meet her, and we head to the convenience store to get beer. We go inside, and there's a lady there who's freaking out over the garbage can because of some law suit that was filed against an innocent woman.

1) I'm in the desert and I'm hanging out with Mikey and Adam. We have some kind of mandatory PT every day at 5:30 PM where we have to walk around this big track. One day I leave my tent and go over to Mikey and Adam's tent, but we can't find Adam anywhere. So we go to the tent where all the computers are, but he's not there, either. We somehow end up at a taping of Saturday Night Live. I don't recognise the guest host, but apparently, she was in some kind of foreign war film. The opening monologue turns into some big circus performance, and it's really lame. After it's over, I'm looking around, and I see Jon and Garah, but I don't know what they're doing there.

1) I'm starting a new job at some kind of retail store, but the store is on a wharf right next to a big lake. We're selling these really cool alt-like clothes that are, in fact, way too cool for a guy like me to be selling, and I'm kinda worried they're going to fire me because I'm just not cool enough to work there. The only time I feel cool is when we're all comparing tattoos. One day, after we close, the other employees and I are out walking along the dock, and this big boat comes along, so we all get on board. The deck of the boat is really low and close to the water, and sometimes, when a wave comes along, we all get really wet. Then we see some kind of big monser or dragon in the water, and we start to panic. Then we realise it's just the tattoo from one of the other workers.

1) I'm housesitting for somebody in this really nice condominium. It's really late, and someone knocks at the door. I open it up and there is Shaun Chauta and all these people I don't know. They all come in and start having this big party. The music is getting kinda loud, and I'm worried that the neighbours will complain, and that whomever I'm housesitting for will get really angry with me. Eventually, everyone falls asleep, and I'm laying on the living room floor. I keep hearing the bass from the stereo, but when I get up to go turn it down, it's already off, so I don't know where it's coming from.

1) I'm on a plane that crashes, and when I realise what's going on, the whole plane is under water. I manage to find the door and kick it open and swim out. I surface to find we're in a lake in the middle of a small town. The plane is really small and there are only four or five people on board. I swim down and grab everyone and drag them to land. Slowly, people start to come out of their houses to see what's going on. I get on my cell phone and call 911, but it's really difficult to talk to anyone because the reception is so bad. Everyone in the town is a bunch of rednecks and they keep reassuring us that help is on the way, but I have a really bad feeling. The flight attendant and I are tending to this other guy on the plane who was injured pretty bad, and it turns out to be Ben Affleck. I overhear this guy from the town telling another guy that if any of us are Jewish, then they're going to kill us. I start to get worried because I don't know if Ben Affleck is Jewish or not.

1) Don and I are hanging out and he takes me to this concert festival and tells me to take a bunch of pictures. We're walking around and there are so many people that we can't find each other. I end up hanging out with these really attractive ladies who are in their 40s/50s. They're all upset and unhappy with their marriages and they start telling me all about it. I don't know what to do, so I just stand there and listen. The festival is about over, so all the ladies and I are trying to find our way out, and we end up walking through this big series of tents and security doors. I finally make it to where all the cars are parked, but I can't find Don.

1) We're getting ready to have a birthday party for Caleb, so I pick him up a present and I drop it off at his girlfriend's house, since that's where the party is going to be. After that, I talk to Josh and Sarah, and they want to put something in the same box as my present, so I take their present back to Caleb's girlfriend's house, and unwrap the present I bought to put the other box inside, but I can't get it to look right when I try to re-wrap it. So I just decide to take the box home with me and re-wrap it there, but I'm really nervous because I'm riding my motorcycle and the box is kinda big, so I'll have to drive with one hand. I go over to Josh and Sarah's house, and we start talking about how we all had small parts in Napoleon Dynamite. Caleb and his girlfriend get there, and we start talking about what we're going to do that night. Caleb's girlfriend wants to invite his ex-girlfriend, but she's not sure if it's a good idea. I tell everyone I don't care what we do or who goes with us, but I really want to do something fun and they'd all better decide what we're doing by the time I get out of the bathtub. I go take a bath and when I get out of the bathroom, no one has made any kind of decision, so I start throwing out suggestions like bowling, miniature golf, and going to the park to toss around the frisbee.

1) I'm driving in this big city, and Mike and Brian, two guys from work, are following me in another car. I pull into a parking spot, and they pull in next to me. We get out and start talking about a camping trip, then walk down the street to look for a music store.

2) I'm driving through Morganfield, and I see this horrible car accident where a lady is driving a car and it suddenly flies through the air and hit the side of the Methodist Church, knocking a big chunk out of it that falls and almost hits a girl on the sidewalk. I get home and my Mom is cooking this big dinner. This old lady is there and she tells me she's my grandmother. The old lady keeps telling Mom she wants pizza, but Mom won't give her any because she's not able to eat it.

1) I'm at a party at some girl's house with Josh and Sarah, and I don't really know anyone else there. We're having a really great time, and I pull out some marijuana that somehow got into my pocket. We all debate on whether to smoke it. Then, the girl's parents come home and see the pot and they don't really care. I'm talking to her parents and trying to make a good impression on them.

2) I go down to Vegas and my friends Jim and Gene are living in this really huge house along with this other guy Jason. They're giving me a big tour of the house, and the whole time, these really hot girls are walking in and out. I ask Jim if they live there, and he says they just come and go as they please. Gene's wife comes in and starts talking to me and making me feel really awkward. Then Gene comes over and kinda sets me at ease.

1) I'm working in this factory that's also a front for a bunch of terrorists who are trying to buy a big bomb. To prove their loyalty to the terrorists, all the workers have to have their legs cut off, but I refuse. I tell the head terrorist guy I'm going to expose him, so they put me in this big bag and throw me in the back of a truck.

2) I'm at my cousin's wedding and I have to talk to all these people I don't know. I'm doing my best to keep smiling the whole time, but it's really difficult because some of the people are really weird and annoying. They have this magician guy there who knocks me on the floor and pretends to break my ankle.

1) I'm living in this really poor town and there's a big riot going on. I'm walking around trying to find out why everyone's so upset. I go to work and everyone there is wondering how to keep everything under control, and we decide to work in shifts. We set up all these guard shacks, and I'm sent home to get some sleep. I'm hoping things will settle down before I have to come back that night. While I'm walking home, people start mauling me, and I manage to get on top of a big building. Suddenly, everyone stops screaming and starts walking around like they're really disappointed.

1) I'm back in college and I'm in a fraternity, but I don't really like it very much. I'm not really good friends with many of the other guys, and I'm debating on getting out. There's a big party on campus one night, and I'm walking around with these two girls and I'm acting like a total idiot. I keep apologising to the girls and telling them I'm feeling "out of sorts." I go back to the fraternity house and I see Jerry Howard, who's getting ready to start school there as well. I give him a big hug and we start talking. I ask him if he's thinking about pledging a fraternity, and tell him that I'm seriously thinking about de-activating.

1) I'm riding a motorcycle with my Dad and a bunch of his friends. We're basically just going around in a big circle in the middle of Morganfield. Everyone is in a really good mood and laughing and stuff. I leave and go out to the country to help with some kind of big project. When I get there, Allison from the Gap is there, and I'm trying to show off my motorcycle.