1) I call my cousin, Keri, and tell her that we should get married, but only for convenience and the tax breaks. She agrees. I go over to her parents' house and up to her room. She's studying. She's got a poster of Duran Duran on the wall, and I realise that I'm in some kind of time warp and it's 1985 or something. I start to ask her about Eric, her husband, but then I remember that she's not already married and she hasn't even met him yet. She starts asking me what I think about her various art projects in cases all over her room. Also, there's a big aquarium with some kind of strange fish in it, but it looks more like that big creature, Falkor, that Atreyu flew in The Neverending Story. I take my time looking around her room, but slowly try to sneak out and hope that she forgot that I asked her to marry me.

1) I'm sitting in a really dark bar with two girls from Readiness, Sharron (one of the managers at Roosters), Kyle, and a couple other people. The bar is in some big city, but I don't know where. Occassionally, the bartender will come by and give us some kind of ridiculous mission to accomplish, so we all get up and do it. The missions are really weird and don't really do anything. One of them is just to drive down this narrow alley really fast without getting hit by these giant fireballs that fly by.

2) I'm at some kind of military camp. The only people I know are Jerm, Caleb, and Tanya, but there are lots of people from Hill. One of the things we have to do is run five miles in our desert boots, and I'm kinda worried I won't do it fast enough. At one point during the run, people start sliding down a big hill, but I'm worried that if I do it, I'll get disqualified. I go into a class and Randy, one of the civilians I work with, is there. We all start teasing him because at the end of the week, we'll have to wear our blues and he'll have to shave his beard. When everything is over, we're all waiting to take a shower, and a bunch of us are sitting outside. This other girl refers to Tanya as "Wednesday," and I start wondering that maybe Tanya isn't her real name.

1) I'm at my shop getting ready to deploy. My old supervisor is there, and he's making me really nervous. A bunch of people are standing around talking, and this girl comes in asking if we can help her hoist the sail on her sailboat that's in the parking lot. Some of the guys go out to help, but I have to leave because I'm getting ready to deploy. I go out to my truck, and get in. I start driving, but I stop by this outdoor pharmacy because I want to get a refill on my Claritin before I deploy. The pharmacist is behind this big wooden table with a bunch of chains on it. She looks at my suspiciously and asks a bunch of questions, but ends up giving me my pills anyway. When she does, she puts the bottle on the end of one of the chains and tosses it to me. I get to the desert, and I'm on a convoy to a remote camp. When I get there, I'm talking to all these local Arab people, and they're being nice to me, but they're talking about how much they want to kill Americans. They start hurling all these rubies and emeralds and other jewels at the American camp with slingshots. They ask if I want to, and I decline. At the end of the day, it's time for me to go back to the main camp, but the vehicle I was driving has a flat tire, so they replace it with a tire from a 10-speed bicycle. I start driving, and the 10-speed bicycle tire buckles under the weight, and I go back to camp to see if they have something else for it. This guy from my squadron is there in another vehicle, but he tells me I'm stuck there because I can't go back to the main camp withouth the vehicle I left in.

1) I'm TDY somewhere, and I'm living in a really small dorm with a bunch of people. We're on some top secret mission, and we only work at night. TSgt Van Well is there, and he asks me to take care of some paperwork, but I keep forgetting, and every time I see him, he reminds me about it. The bathroom is right down the hall from where we're working, but to get there, you have to go through this super-narrow hallway, and I have to walk sideways. Some key or something comes up missing, and everyone thinks I'm the one who lost it, but I'm not.

1) I'm in some kind of amusement park that's themed after Woody Allen films. I'm with a big group of people, and I'm having a lot of fun. We start out on a ride that looks like a trolley ride through scenes of Woody's movies. But the trolley isn't on regular rails and it starts going sideways and up walls and upside down. Then, we go on one ride where you get tossed into a cupboard, and when you come out the other side, you're inside one of Woody's movies. I'm getting ready to go through, and I'm hoping it will be the one with Christina Ricci. I go through the other side, and suddenly a bunch of people are carrying me around like I'm some kind of national hero. They refuse to let my feet touch the ground, even when I ask them to. They just carry me wherever I want to go. I'm being carried through a ballpark during a game, and when I get to the end of the bleachers, I finally start walking on the ground. I go into a stairwell, and suddenly everyone is floating around like balloons, except me. I see Nick and we start talking about the Panic! At The Disco concert. I get to the top of the stairs, and I'm in a big mall. I see a Target on one side, and I'm hoping to find a big toy store somewhere. I start running down the mall, but I can't run very fast. There are a few other people there, and they keep getting in my way. I keep thinking that if I can just make it a little further, I'll make it to the toy store. --And then my damn alarm goes off!

1) I'm on some kind of cross-country bus ride with a bunch of other military people. We stay in a hotel, and the next morning, we stop at some local diner for breakfast. I'm the first one in, and I tell the hostess/waitress that there's about forty of us. She rolls her eyes, and I feel really bad. I see Mike walk in behind me and sit at a table.

1) I'm deploying, and my whole squadron is on our way to the desert. We're staying overnight in some kind of hostel, and we all have to sleep on these big bleachers in a big gymnasium. Across the road, there's a huge grocery store, and the Commander tells us to grab some food from there, since we might be stuck in the hostel for a while. A few of us go into the grocery store, and I'm looking around, but I can't really decide on what to get. I finally give up and go back to the hostel, but when I get there, everyone is already asleep, and I have to crawl over a bunch of people to get to where I'm sleeping. I'm trying to be quiet, but every time I take a step, the bleachers creek and moan. I finally get to where I'm sleeping and when I lay down, music starts coming out of my pillow, and I'm trying to find a volume button to turn it down, but I can't, so I just try to muffle it, but it doesn't seem to be working very well.

1) I'm driving a big tractor trailer across the country, and I find myself in Seattle. I call up Paul and Trish, and we hang out and talk a lot about snowboarding. I leave Seattle at night, and it's raining. I'm really nervous because I can't see well, and I'm worried I'm gonna cause an accident. But I don't want to stop because I'm trying to get to some kind of big party somewhere.

1) I'm going to an outdoor festival with Ryan and a bunch of people I don't know, mostly girls. We're walking around outside, and it starts sprinkling. I don't think it's any big deal, but a everyone else is freaking out. A bunch of animals get loose, and it's total chaos. I sit down on a chair and watch everyone panic. Eventually, everything slows down, and I find Ryan. He and I go back to our apartment and sit on the couch and have a conversation about the day.

1) I'm at work and I'm waiting for Mike to finish some paperwork so I can finish the paperwork I have to do. I walk around, and I come into a room I've never seen before. It's a big glass enclosure, and Abby is inside painting a big mural. I knock on the glass, and she comes to the door and we hug and talk. I'm excited because I want her to meet the guys I work with. Mike comes in with my paperwork, so I go and do what I have to do. When I come back, I can't find the glass room or Abby.

1) I'm visiting my parents at the house in Morganfield. My parents are at work, and I'm sitting in the living room watching an episode of Roseanne. Suddenly, I'm inside the episode, and Roseanne and her sister and talking about getting a new house with a hot tub. They turn a knob and their living room fills up with water. Then I'm back in my living room, and the doorbell rings. I don't want to answer it because I think it might be a soliciter, but I do anyway. It's the lady who delivers the newspaper, and she gives me some money and tells me it's because my parents support the community. I say, "thanks," close the door, and go set the money on the counter. I go back to my bedroom and start getting stuff out of my closet that I want to take back home with me.

1) I'm living in a loft and my Mom's side of the family is all coming to visit. I'm waiting outside for everyone to get there, and, one-by-one, the Spice Girls start showing up with their husbands. Victoria is there with David Beckham, and I'm all tongue tied. Baby Spice is married to a guy who's eight feet tall, and when I talk to him, I feel like I have to shout so he can hear me. I try to pat him on the shoulder, but it end up being the back of his thigh. The only one that doesn't show up is Sporty Spice, and I'm guessing it's because she's a lesbian and doesn't want to feel awkward around everyone. Finally, my Mom's family arrives, and there are tons of kids, too. One of them is driving a miniature truck, but he can't get it up the stairs, so I ask if he can leave it at the bottom. I go inside, and I see my Mom hugging Pat, her oldest sister, and I get a little choked up because I know they haven't seen each other in a long time.

1) I'm walking through this huge ballroom with Winona Ryder and there's all kinds of old furniture all over the place laid out like a big maze. The ceilings are, like, 50 feet high, and there's this red duct work going all over the top. Suddenly, Keanu Reeves comes in and grabs both of us and we all start running. We jump really high and land on top of the duct work. Keanu tells us we have to move fast because at any moment, the room could turn upside down. We're running along the duct work, and make it to the door leading outside. I'm wondering what will happen outside, especially if the room might turn upside down.

1) I'm at the house in Morganfield, and I'm laying on my parents' bed. My brother comes in and tells me everyone is going to go eat at Olive Garden, and if I want to go, I need to get up and take a shower. I tell him I'll go, but I want to sleep for five more minutes. He wakes me up again, and he's dressed in a suit. I try to get up, but I think my contacts are messed up because everything is really blurry. Then I think that maybe my contacts aren't in at all, and I put on my glasses, but that just makes it worse. I stumble into the living room, but I can't tell who anyone is.

1) I'm at a NASCAR race with a bunch of people including my Dad, my aunt, and Jack, this guy I went to high school with, his wife, and about three or four other people. I bring my computer along because I think they have wi-fi at the track, but after we sit down, I open up my computer and I can't get a signal. After the race, we're all eating dinner, and I'm having a nice conversation with Jack's wife. After dinner, I go sit on the couch, and she comes and sits on my lap. I'm kinda uncomfortable, but Jack doesn't seem to mind. I'm telling her about how we go to Rooster's a lot, and one of the bartenders there just got her boobs enlarged. Jack leaves, but his wife stays on my lap and no one seems to mind. She starts telling me how she prefers the word "titties," and I tell her how much I hate that word, and that there's no real good substitute for "breasts" without sounding like you're in high school.

1) Ken and I are going to see a band called Panic! At The Disco at an outdoor venue. We get there, and there's a maze of fences we have to walk around, but some people just got to walk through because they paid a lot more for their ticket. We finally get to the stage, and we're right up front. The band comes out and the singer is high and sweating really hard, and I think he's getting ready to pass out. I say to Ken, "This man has to be gotten to a hospital!" And Ken says, "A hospital? What is it?" Like we're quoting from the movie Airplane. But I don't think it's funny because I think the singer guy is really sick. So I go get the security guard and he tells me it's not his problem, but he'll call a car to take me to the hospital so I can bring back a doctor. The car gets there, and it's being driven by Frankenstein, so I get in and he drives me to this old mansion. I'm kinda worried about my own life, but Frankenstein is being really nice. When we go inside the mansion, I meet all these other monsters, and they're all very nice. I'm trying to find out if any of them is a doctor so I can get them to help the singer guy at the concert, but they just want to play games.

2) I'm in Morganfield with Stephanie, this girl in my squadron. We're at my Church, and decide to go to the grocery store. After walking around there, we find some nice people back at Church who invite us to dinner. We go, but they have to stop by the bank first. It's getting dark outside, and I'm surprised the bank is open on Sunday. Stephanie and I start talking about how we're not looking forward to the exercise coming up next month.

1) I'm getting ready to graduate from basic training. We're all in this big room and the training instructors are getting ready to hand us our diplomas, but they won't give them to us until we finish cleaning our dorm. I get really upset and consider sneaking out and getting on the bus.

2) I'm babysitting two kids for a day, and I decide to take them into town for ice cream. We're in a little cafe and I'm ordering ice cream for the kids and coffee for myself. This guy comes in and start harassing the girl behind the counter. She's trying to be polite, and I ask the guy to back off. He pulls a gun and shoots the girl in the head. I grab the kids and jump behind a booth. I'm hoping the kids didn't see anything, but I'm sure they did. I'm worried they'll be traumatised for life, and that their Mom will never let me babysit for them again.

1) I'm at home with my family, and it's Mother's Day. We're at Church, and when we walk in, it's super crowded. We find a place to sit right next to the Gamblins. Pat shows us what Garah got her for Mother's Day. It's a big pretzel, and Pat thinks it's the greatest Mother's Day present ever. I suddenly realise I forgot to get my Mom anything, and I'm wondering if there will be anything open in town so I can grab something right after Church without anyone realising I forgot. A girl in the front clicks these two rocks together, and all the children go up front for children's time. I'm the only one left in my pew.

2) I'm living in my grandparents house, and Samuel L. Jackson comes over. He's acting just like his character in Pulp Fiction. I'm trying to be really nice to him because I don't know if he has a gun or wants to kill me. He stays for a long time, so I'm thinking he doesn't want to kill me. He asks if he can take a shower, so I show him to the bathroom. He comes back out, and I'm feeling a little more comfortable with him, so I ask if he will stop using the Lord's name in vain, because it really bothers me. I also tell him the rest of his language is pretty disgusting, too, but I can handle that as long as he stops saying G.D. He laughs and says he'll try.

1) I'm walking around a really nice neighbourhood early on a Sunday morning with a girl who is apparently good friend of mine. I'm supposed to hang out with my Aunt Karen that night, but the girl I'm with is kind of upset, and I think she wants me to ditch my Aunt so I'll hang out with her. But I don't see my Aunt very often and I don't want to ditch her. I consider inviting the girl to hang out with my Aunt and I, but decide that would be a bad idea, and end up walking around with the girl for a while. We walk through the neighbourhood, and end up at a dormitory where a bunch of people from my squadron live. We're walking through the dorm and a bunch of the people who live there are still partying from the night before. I try to find this girl from readiness so she can sign off on some paperwork of mine in order for me to deploy. But every time I go into a room, I see her walking out a door on the opposite side and the people there tell me I just missed her. I try to run faster to catch up with her, but my legs won't move fast enough.

2) I'm at Church, and when I walk in, some of the pews have been replaced by beds, so I lie down in one of the beds. There's a book of photography on the bed, as well. The preacher starts giving the sermon, and I'm looking through the photography book. Some of the photographs are nudes, and when I flip past one of them, an old lady behind me gasps. I'm embarrassed, but I don't know what to do because that book is obviously what the preacher wants me to be reading. I get off the bed and walk out the side door, which leads directly into the parsonage. I'm watching the rest of the service on a television, and the preacher is taking off all his clothes and talking about how we shouldn't be ashamed of our bodies because that's how God made us. After the service, the preacher comes in and tells me he's been fired. I feel really bad for him, but he's not upset because he says he's found a bunch of old Biblical artifacts, and he's going on some mysterious archeological mission (a la The Divinci Code). I see this strange artifact in a glass case in his living room. It's a big triangle-shaped rock, and it's floating around. I turn around to talk to him, and when I turn back around, the big rock is gone. Suddenly, there's a big earthquake.

1) I'm in some kind of dormitory, and there are lots of people I know that live there. I'm just walking around from room to room saying hi to everyone. I go outside and there are some little dune buggies there, and we all start riding around. The one I have is smaller than the others, but it turns better and jumps higher. I go back into the dorm and into the room of my friend Anthony. There are a bunch of different coloured vacuum cleaners there, and I start using one of them. Anthony leaves and comes back in with a girl. They get on his bed and start having sex. I leave the room and see my Mom in the hallway. Anthony comes out and starts talking about the girl he just had sex with, but I'm all embarrassed because my Mom is right there.

1) I'm at my shop, and it's dark outside because some of us are working late. We're cleaning up the shop and getting ready to go home. One of the guys waxed the floor, and it's really slippery in spots. We start running and sliding everywhere. I see that there are these hugs rooms in my shop that aren't really there. The floor is so slippery in there, that some guys start playing hockey with a couple brooms. I go outside to empty the trash, and when I come back inside, the fire alarm goes off. I run to the panel and it takes a long time to find the right key to open it. I finally open the panel and shut off the alarm. One of the guys there asks when I'm going to throw a party for my supervisor.

1) I'm walking around in this huge, vintage bookstore, and some girls start talking to me. They're really attractive, so I start to get kinda flirty. They ask if I want to run a race with them, so we go outside, and there's all these people around waiting at the starting line. We run the race, and then go back to the bookstore, but when we get there, I look down and realise I don't have any pants on. I go around the bookstore looking for my pants, but all I find is this big chandelier, and I'm looking around for a place to hang it.

1) I'm at some kind of camp with a bunch of guys from work. It's late at night, and we're all walking around the campground. We go into a cabin and we hear water running, so we go into the basement and a pipe has busted. So we start working on it, and Mike and Brian are both kinda freaking out, so I tell them to calm down and go grab Ken, because he can keep his cool under pressure.

1) I'm exploring a huge cave. It's really dark, and I stop for a while, so I light a campfire. When I leave, I make sure the fire is out, but when I get back to the cave entrance, I can see the fire still burning in the distance. I don't want to walk all the way back to put out the fire, so I open up this video screen I see, and I start clicking on all these buckets of water. Putting out the fire is like a big video game. As soon as the fire is out, my phone rings and it's Jerry Howard. He's getting ready to leave for China and he wants to hang out for a bit, so I tell him to come pick me up.

1) I'm deployed to the desert, and Mark Wahlberg is there. He's brought along a little hamster, and he spends all his free time caring for it and playing with it. We're in our tent and he comes in frantically looking for it. We search the tent high and low, but can't find the hamster. He gets really upset and starts to cry, and everyone else is laughing at him. I feel so bad for him because it seems like he's lost his best friend, even if it is a hamster. And then I think, "Wow! Mark Wahlberg is really famous and handsome, and he's this upset over a hamster?" But I still give him a hug and tell him it will be okay.

1) I'm living back in Morganfield, and my Mom has just had another baby. Everyone is really careful and quiet because nobody wants to wake her (the baby).

2) I'm on a base there's a new guy in my squadron who's actually an IMer who's driving pallets of water around the squadron on a forklift. The forklift tips over and he gets burried. We dig him out and he's not breathing, so I'm totally freaking out and call 911, but I'm so hysterical, I screw it up somehow and have to dial it again. It takes the paramedics forever to get there, but they do CPR or something and he starts breathing again.

1) I'm walking through a mall, and I go into this store. They have a display set-up that looks exactly like my Dad's bedroom. I think it's great because it reminds me that I need to get Dad something for Father's Day, and now I can see what to buy him that will go good with what he already has. I leave the store, and as I walk into another store, I see a lady that I know, but I can't remember her name. She's with her family, and as she walks by, I say, "Hello, Jean-Paul."

1) I'm at my parents' house, and I'm in the bathtub. I can hear a bunch of people talking outside the bathroom. The dog, Rudy, comes in the bathroom, and I start petting him. Then my parents and this other guy come in because the guy is thinking about installing a new bathtub in his house, and he wants to see ours first. But I'm okay because I have a blanket on, too, even though I'm in the water.

2) I'm visiting my family in South Carolina, and we're all hanging out at my aunt Karen's house. We're going to have a big party for my brother, but nobody knows what to buy him. My aunt Patty asks me to go with her to the store to get him something, so I get in the car with her. She ends up driving to this porn store, and we go in and we keep laughing really hard at all the stuff inside. There's a clerk at the store who keeps following us around and she won't leave us alone. She keeps telling us to reach inside this big bucket and pull out a prize, but we're afraid of what might be in there.

1) I'm at my high school, and it's late at night, but everyone is in class. I'm walking around outside. I'm trying to find a way into the school without getting caught by any teachers. I find the door that goes into the gym, and decide to hang out in the bathroom for a while until the bell rings and I can go to my next class. I see some guys from work, and they tell me that my sideburns are getting too long.

1) I'm at the house in Morganfield and my parents and all of my Mom's sisters are there. We're celebrating Mother's Day. There's also this big, fat, black lady there, and we keep hugging her and telling her how much we love her. Dad is really concerned about electricity use, and makes sure we turn off lights when we're out of the room.

1) I'm riding in a big van down the highway with a bunch of people including Josh and Sarah, Katie, Aaron, and several others. We end up at some building in the middle of nowhere and it looks deserted. Josh and I go inside to look around. The building kinda looks like a small hospital and it has several floors. We keep taking these ladders up higher and higher. We somehow find out that if we stay there too long, we'll eventually turn into vampires. We get to the top floor of the building, and there are all these weird mutated people. When they see us, they start freaking out, but they can't get to us because we're in a sealed room. Josh and I run back down to get into the van with everyone else, but it's gone.

1) I'm walking through a big mall with several girls, one of whom is Jennifer Anniston. We're at one end, and there's a big gymnasium there with a bunch of people boxing inside. We walk to the other end, and there's another gym with people boxing inside, including my brother. I want to box with my brother, but they don't have any gloves there, so I go to the gym on the other end of the mall to get gloves. I got back to the second gym, but when I get there, I realise they've given me one boxing glove and one rubber glove. So I go back to the first gym to get the right glove. I go back to the second gym again with the right glove, but it isn't laced up right, so I have to re-lace the glove and it's really confusing.

1) I'm living with a hispanic family on a ranch in the desert. We all drive these really huge pick-up trucks, but mine is the smallest. There are tons of kids all over the place. My chore every day is to load and unload the dishwasher, which is difficult because I don't want to start the dishwasher when anyone is in the shower, and since there are so many people, someone is almost always in the shower. I think we're trying to solve a crime, too.

1) I'm in a big warehouse or boiler room or something and Abby is there, too. I don't know what we're talking about, but I'm trying to impress her by saying something I know nothing about. We go outside and my Dad and his friends ride up on their motorcycles. We all sit at a picnic table and eat lunch. I see Drew walk up and I apologise to him for not making it down to Vegas for his bachelor party. He says he's on his way to catch a plane, so I walk with him for a while.

1) I'm at some kind of festival, and I'm walking around sampling all the food and stuff. I see John and Heather Armstrong, so I go up to them and ask if they remember me from the Idlewild show. They do, and we start talking and walking around. I'm thinking they don't really want to hang out with me, but they're just humouring me for a few minutes. I but them a couple shots of tequila.

1) I go home to visit my family, and my Mom is really pampering me and won't let me even get up from the couch. I finally leave and go to church. My friend JoAnn is there, and she's going to sing in a battle of the bands competition. She asks if I'll play piano for her, and I say yes. But she's getting ready to go on stage and I haven't even heard the music yet, so I tell her she needs to get me some sheet music or at least some chord progressions.

1) I'm at some new club with a bunch of people. We're going through the door, and the bouncer is checking our IDs. As we're walking in, I see Jay walking out. I stop him and tell him to hang out with us for a while. We go into the club and find a booth in the corner and sit down. We're ordering drinks, and I'm trying to talk to Jay, but it's really loud. Jay and I get up so we can go somewhere more quiet to talk, but everyone else keeps following us. Regardless, all I can think about is how good it is to see my good friend again.
2) Kyle has moved into this new apartment that's in a really old building, and you have to walk through all these mechanical rooms to get to it, but once you do, it's a really nice apartment. He's having a big party one night, and we're all hanging out and drinking, and I get drunk really quick. I start to think that maybe I've been drugged, and I see Ryan Heath. I'm talking to him, and we walk outside. He tells me he needs to go, but to stop by his dorm room later on. I start walking back to the party, but I'm all disoriented and I'm having trouble walking. As I'm going back into Kyle's building, there are all these homeless people taking shelter in the mechanical rooms, and I keep running into them. I tell them I'm sorry, but they just grunt at me. I finally make it back to the party, but there are only a few people left. They're all talking about starting some kind of political revolution.

1) I'm going through some kind of Army special ops training, and Nick Lagunas is there, too. This hardcore army general guy says our final assignment is to break into a top secret area and destroy an F-117. So we're driving onto a base and we blow through the gate. Then we decide to ram a big truck into the 117. Just as we do, a bunch of alarms go off and we start running.

2) I'm hanging out with my Mom and her sisters, and they all have these huge dogs they insist on bringing everywhere. So when we go out to dinner, we have to take five cars because the dogs take up so much room. We go to a Japanese restaurant, and I get some really disgusting looking squid-like thing, and no one else will try it, not even the Japanese or the dogs.

1) I'm back in college, but I'm home visiting my parents. While I'm there, I get sick so I'm sleeping on the couch and burning this huge candle. Then I go to Jerry Howard's apartment and Brad Mills is there. He wants to have sex with his fiance, but is too busy so he asks if I will instead. Afterward, we're laying there waiting for Brad to get back and talking and she's really tired so I leave and go back to campus. There's some guy there taking pictures and I try to avoid him and go into the Dairy Queen and flirt with the girl behind the counter. I go back to the dorm, but someone has pulled the fire alarm, so I hang out in the parking lot with Nikki Meyers and Jerry's old girlfriend, Tracey.

1) It's late at night, and I'm driving a forklift across the flightline. I'm really cold, and I don't know where my jacket it. I stop the forklift behind a big building and huddle next to the engine to get warm. I start driving again, and somehow end up at Nate and Natsuko's house. I feel bad about waking them up in the middle of the night, but I ring the doorbell anyway. I ask if I can sleep there for a while, and they let me in. They give me a blanket and tell me to sleep on the extra bed in Jake's room. I'm trying to be really quiet and not wake Jake.

1) I'm back in high school in English class. The teacher has given an assignment to write a report on a random word of her choice, and the word is different for each student. One girl's word was "Utah" and she gave this big speech. Another girl's word was "reality." I'm freaking out because I don't know when I'm supposed to give my report and I don't know what my word is. Plus, I'm really worried about my popularity, so i'm trying really hard to be funny and outgoing.

2) I'm on a short vacation with my parents and we're staying in a hotel and trying to decide on which amusement park to go to.

1) I'm at some kind of retreat with a bunch of Readiness people, and the retreat is at my Grandparents' house. My Grandmother has cooked tons of food for us, but everyone is really excited about playing games, that not much of the food is eaten. I feel bad, so I start gorging myself on all this food on the table.

1) I'm shopping at some really expensive designer store somewhere, and when I pick up a pair of shoes, the sales lady is really mean to me.

1) I'm at the Hospitality House and we're all getting ready to go to a movie, but nobody can decide on which movie to see. Everyone is playing video games and I get really frustrated and leave.

2) I'm sponsoring a new troop and I pick her up late at night from the airport, and the first thing we do is find her an apartment. We find one that's owned by this really old couple and it's kind of in their basement, but it includes a car, so she moves in, but the old couple keeps coming around all the time and they're really annoying.

3) I'm in some kind of support group with about 80 people and Roseanne Barr is leading it. Liam Neeson is there and confesses that he used to be gay, but not anymore. Since it's my first time there, Roseanna asks me to pray at the end.

4) I'm going to some kind of musical and I'm going to my seat which ends up being on the stage. This girl is there with a small TV watching Aretha Franklin videos. The musical starts and it's in this huge auditorium and it's packed. All of the sudden, I realise I'm in the musical, so I get up and sit in the audience. The Backstreet Boys show up and sing a song. Then I get back on stage and start singing and dancing. Then some mascot that looks like a purple dinosaur shows up and half the audience runs over to get pictures of it. I get upset and leave.

1) It's Halloween and I'm going around to different parties and watching scary movies. I end up at Kelley Alvey's house and I'm trying to figure out a program on her computer. Paul Dinkins and my Aunt Karen are there, too, and I tell them I'm getting ready to leave for Iraq.

2) I'm in Iraq and I'm doing maintenance on latrine trailers with Matt Damon. We're working and we have the trailer closed down, but some guy comes in anyway, and we start yelling at him.

3) I'm at home and my parents and brother come in and my brother has bought porn for the whole family as gifts. Mine is two movies and two dirty novels.

1) I'm back in Morganfield hanging out with my family and a bunch of people I grew up with. For some reason, I tell my friends that my Mom is cousins with Lynn Lovern's Mom, which is totally not true. Nobody believes me, so I get my Mom and we take a walk through the woods. I ask her if it's true, and she says it's not, so I ask her if she'll tell everyone it is. Then my Dad and this other guy and I are walking through the woods looking for different trails.

1) I'm going to get ice cream with Naomi Watts, and we somehow end up on this deserted island. King Kong is there, but it's a girl and she seems really ill. We try to take care of her, but it's like she doesn't want out help. We travel around the island looking for someone else who might know something, but we can't find anyone.

1) I'm at a huge concert hall and it's really crowded. I have a great seat toward the front. There is an entire ensemble on stage with a piano in the center. The audience is kind of restless. A guy comes out and starts playing, and as soon as he hits the first note, the crowd goes silent. He starts playing the greatest song I've ever heard. Suddenly, I realise I'm the guy playing the piano, and it's like I'm on stage playing and in the crowd listening at the same time. The song builds and builds and the whole ensemble joins in. I'm playing stronger than I've ever played before and I'm pounding on the keys as hard as I can. When the song ends, the entire place goes into an uproar. I'm trying to walk out of the audience and off the stage at the same time, but there are so many people, I can't move.

1) I'm going to the theatre with Garah. It's really crowded and we sit down. There are ladies going around getting drink orders, but Garah wants to go to the concession stand. I try to give her some money, but she refuses. She gets back and my phone rings. I get called in to work. I leave the theatre, and when I get to work, Stephanie Walker is there. She tells me she needs my help at an old boat house. I walk to the boat house, and Dad and Chris are there. We all get in this boat, and start heading out on a big lake. We get to another dock, and Ken and Monica Larmon are there. They're just leaving. Ken says he tried to fix it, but he can't.

1) I'm in the World Trade Center witha bunch of people. The planes have already hit, and we all know the towers are going to collapse. Everyone is running around trying to decide what to do. I start to try running down the stairs, but this girl stops me and tells me to get in the elevator. We won't be able to take it to the bottom, but we'll be safe in there until they can dig us out. I get in and everyone just waits. A few minutes later, we all start falling, but everyone is okay when we land. The firemen dig us out, and there are all kinds of reporters all over the place asking us questions, but I don't want to talk to anyone.

1) I'm sitting in a movie theatre and watching previews before the movie comes on. There are quite a few people there. The sound on the movie goes out, so I stand up and walk into a door on the side of the theatre which leads to an office. I pick up the phone and I'm going to try to call the projection room to tell them there's no sound. I can't find the number, but I hear everyone in the theatre running around. I go out and everyone's rushing toward the doors. I ask a lady what's going on, and she says there's a tornado coming. I go to the door and open it and the tornado is right there. I close the door and tell the lady to get under the chairs.

1) I go into PT, and the people there are all people I know, but, for some reason, I feel like I'm there on the wrong day. I just stand there up against the wall and wait for them to say something to me. Stephanie is doing push-ups, and she finally stands up and just stares at me.

1) I'm hanging with Kyle at his new apartment, and my commander and his wife are there. Kyle is trying to get a job with my commander. I tell Kyle I like his new apartment much better than his old one. I try to make small talk with my commander, but Kyle keeps hitting on his wife, and it's making me really uncomfortable.

1) I'm home visiting family, and my family and Garah's family are all going out to brunch together. We go to a restaurant, and as we're waiting in the lobby, I notice that my Mom has gotten really fat. We're walking to our table and I think I see Sue Shouse, a lady who went to my Church when I was growing up. I go ahead and sit down anyway. We're looking at the menu, and I look over and see Donna Jo Mason, and her daughters, Laura and Camille, sitting with Sue. I tell my Dad what to order for me, and go over and talk to them. Donna Jo refers to Laura as "Cavanar," but I think that maybe she got married to a guy who's last name is "Cavanaugh," but that's just the way she pronounces it in her Kentucky accent. Laura tells me she's engaged, and shows me her ring. I start talking to Camille, and I want to ask about her kids, but the only one I can remember is Tyler, even though I know she has three. And I can't remember her married name, either.

1) I'm hanging out with Lindsay Lohan a lot, and I kinda want to date her, but I don't know how she feels about it. We're visiting Shaun Chauta in Italy, and she's upset because she wants to attend a certain school somewhere in Australia, but there's no gymnastics program there. I'm giving her a hug and I want to kiss her, but I don't. Then she loses her cell phone. We look all over Shaun's house, but we can't find it. We got to the store to buy a new one, and Lindsay is still upset.

2) I'm at the house in Morganfield with a bunch of friends. We order pizza, but I walk to go get it. I get back and we eat it all and fall asleep. I wake up the next morning and there are all these weird people in black capes walking around outside. We're all freaked out, but we decide to go into the garage and grab shovels and baseball bats to scare them off. We walk into the living room and Mom and Dad and their friends are in there. I ask if the weird people are all still outside, and Mom says no. I figure they were just trying to be creepy because it's Halloween. I go back into my room and reach into my pocket. I pull out four different cell phones, but none of them are mine. I look all over for my cell phone, but I can't find it. My friend Nick tells me to fill out a form at the hospital, and they'll give me money for a new one.

1) I'm out partying with Chris, Jerry, and a bunch of Jerry's friends. We're walking around a hotel and I go into a room where a bunch of guys are drinking beer. I chat with them for a bit, and then Catherine Keener comes in. She makes me lick her shoes. We stay out really late, and Chris and I take Catherine home and find that we only have a few minutes to get to Church. I skip showering and just wet down my hair. We all go to Church, and everyone is staring at us. We're talking to a few people who have this book on diseases you can get from being bitten by different kinds of moths. I start thinking about wrestling around with this giant moth with huge teeth.

1) I'm at a big party with Abby and her family and there's tons of other people there, too. George Bush is there, and he goes to the front of the room and announces that John Edwards will be the new President of the United States. John Edwards steps out and I start cheering, but nobody else is very happy about it. Caleb Moore is there, and he runs up to get John's autograph. Music starts playing, and we all start dancing. I end up in my underwear. I go back to the table where I was sitting, and John comes over and starts playing cards with me.

1) The planet has been taken over by dinosaurs, and there are only a few humans left. Alex and I are living in some kind of compound with about ten other people. It's really difficult and strict, and we're always being instructed on how to deal with going outside the compound and what to do if you encounter a dinosaur. One day, we're outside the compound, and this guy drives up in a pick-up truck, and he's waving a gun around. I try to take the gun away, but he starts shooting it at me. I hide beneath the truck, and then jump up and take the gun away. I'm trying to salvage as many bullets as possible so we can fight the dinosaurs if necessary. Alex gets upset and leaves the compound to try to find his parents. One guy's stuff turns up missing, and everyone blames Alex, but I tell them Alex would never do anything like that.

2) I'm nominated for an Oscar, and I'm going to be escorting Scarlett Johansson to the ceremony. I'm staying in a fancy hotel in LA, and I see Lindsay Lohan, who's also nominated. We start talking and I'm excited because Scarlett is my date, but I get the impression Lindsay doesn't like Scarlett. Lindsay has just gotten her hair done, and we get on the elevator together so she can go to her room and put her dress on. I tell her I've never been around so many famous people before and she acts like it's no big deal.

1) I'm going to McDonald's in a Honda CR-V, and I get there and it's really crowded. I just want a hamburger, and I wait in line for a very long time. I finally get to the front and they get me my food, and my order is wrong, so I have to wait in line again to try to get the right food. I end up spending most of the day waiting in line at McDonald's. When I finally leave, my food is cold and it's dark outside. I'm driving back into a really big city, and Caleb Wendt is with me, and we start talking about the truck I'm driving.

1) I'm hanging out with some of our friends in Evansville, and we're all getting ready to go hiking to the top of this big mountain. I'm the youngest, and they keep asking me if I'm sure I can handle it, and I tell them that if I can handle Mt. Fuji, then I can handle this one. It's the night before we're supposed to climb and a bunch of people have gone out drinking, but I stayed behind to hang out with friends and watch movies. I start thinking about places to stay once we get to the top of the mountain.

1) It's really late at night, and I'm walking around downtown with my friend Chad. We're in this alley and Chad wants to get something to eat. I don't think there's anything open that late, but we see a sushi restaurant, so I go over to see if it's open. I go inside, and this lady takes me to a seat. The restaurant is really fancy and trendy. I sit down and call Chad to tell him to come on in. While I'm waiting for him, my friend Patrick starts texting me, but I don't pay attention.

1) I'm at work and I overhear a bunch of guys saying they're going to break into the shop and steal a bunch of stuff. I tell them I want to help, so we all plan on when to meet that night. I get to the shop and it's dark and everyone else is already there. I start feeling bad, so I go into the back of the shop and lay on the couch. I fall asleep and wake up the next morning. Everyone else is already at work and they're all freaking out about all the stuff that has been stolen. They ask me if I know anything, but I don't because I was asleep the whole time. I walk outside and Ellen Degeneres is there, and she's offering me moral support and we have a great conversation.

2) I'm in high school and getting ready to graduate. Everyone in my class is walking out to the football field for practice. I'm relieved that I'm not involved in any extra-curicular activities so I can just follow everyone else. The guy standing next to me is this big football player, and he's really dumb, and I'm nervous he's going to walk the wrong way and I'm just going to follow him.

1) My Dad is having a Shriner's convention, and I'm helping to set everything up. Destiny's Child is performing, and we're all backstage. Beyonce wants to perform their charity song, and I tell them nobody wants to hear their crappy charity song. All anybody wants to hear is "Bootylicious." The girls go out on stage and sing all their songs and everyone is happy. Afterward, we're taking all the chairs down, and some guy gets frustrated with me because I mixed together two different kinds of chairs.

1) I'm going to the movies by myself. I sit down at the theatre, and realise I'm seeing "Independence Day II." I don't want to see it, but I'm already there, so I just stay. There are parts in the movie where the aliens are sticking these big metal things into peoples' chests, and I feel like I'm in the movie. The movie ends and it's really bad. The theatre is really crowded, and it takes me a while to get outside. I go back out to my truck and see that I've left it unlocked with the windows down and the driver's door wide open. Luckily, nobody has taken anything. I drive for a while, but decide that it's such a nice day, I'm going to walk the rest of the way home. I somehow end up walking by the CE dorm and look down and see that I'm only wearing my tighty-whiteys. I'm feeling pretty good about how my body looks, so it doesn't really bother me, but when I'm walking by the dorm manager's office, I see a big pile of clothes, some of which are mine, so I start going through them. This girl walks out of the dorm manager's office and starts staring at me. I'm waiting for her to ask why I'm going through all the clothes, but she never does, so I just keep looking for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, just so I don't get arrested while walking the rest of the way home.

1) I'm in Misawa and I'm hanging out with Paul and Trish. Trish is pregnant again and goes into labour. We take a helicopter to the hospital. Paul and Trish go inside while I try to shut off the helicopter. I go inside and look for Paul and Trish. I pass by the little room where all the newborns are on display, and Paul and Trish are already in there. They bring out their new baby and I get to hold her.

2) I'm back in high school and I'm sitting in class. The teacher finished his lecture, but doesn't want to let us go home early, so we decide to play charades. I go first and I'm trying to get everyone to say "sign language." I get them to say "sign," but nobody can ever get "language," so I give up and sit down.

1) I'm at my old Church in Morganfield. A bunch of us are running around and laughing and having a good time. I see Rachel Red Cloud and she wants us all to go over to her house. I leave to go find my car, and when I get in, I suspect my brother has been driving it because the seat has been moved and the radio station has been changed. I start driving and following everyone to Rachel's house. We're driving around the backside of the Church, and they're doing all kinds of new construction.

1) I move into a new house, and I'm showing people around. It's a cool house because it goes in a big loop, but when it comes back around, the door opens behind the bathtub. I go to work and we're trying to stack a bunch of chairs, but they keep falling over. I'm trying to decide what to do, and we end up leaving them unfolded and placing them at one end of the auditorium. After work, we all go out for beers, and I'm trying to decide which to drink. I'm there with a bunch of people and I'm feeling really good because I'm telling jokes and everyone is laughing.

2) I'm in a plane with my parents. I don't know where we're going, but the plane has to make an emergency landing in Tokyo. I'm excited because I want to see Japan again. We get off the plane and we're walking around downtown.

1) Lana and I are on a double date with another couple. We are in Lana's car, and she's driving. We go to the theatre to see if Brokeback Mountain is playing. It is, and we're parking, but Lana pulls up next to a curb that's painted red. We talk for a minute about if we'll get towed, but we go inside anyway. The movie has just started, and when we sit down, there are only a few other people in the theatre.

1) I'm on a retreat with a bunch of people from Church. We're at the beach somewhere, and, by coincidence, my parents and some other family are staying in the same town. We've been hanging out on the beach a lot and having Church services. One night, my parents ask me to come by their hotel room. I get there and they start lecturing me about Brad having a hard time at school because of sports. And then they start asking why a bunch of the single people leave Church after the praise and worship. After that, my aunt Suzie tells me I'm not a very good shoe salesman.

1) I'm at work, and everyone decides to go to the chow hall for lunch. We get there, and all the tables are already marked b people putting their hats on them. We get our food, and come back to find that all the hats are still there, but nobody is sitting down yet. I get really frustrated and start throwing people hats off of tables. After lunch, I'm walking down a hallway and get pulled into a room by Billy Bob Thornton and Tim Robbins. Don is there, too, and Billy Bob and Tim are trying to get him to run for President. We're talking and suddenly, Tim starts making out with Don. Billy Bob gets jealous and pulls out a big knife and kills them both. I just kinda stand there, and grab my hat and walk out. I'm nervous because there's blood all over my clothes and I'm trying to cover it up. I go into a store and pick up a soda and nobody says anything about the blood.

1) I wake up, look at my phone, and see that it's 9:30, and I was supposed to be at PT at 6. I freak out and jump out of bed. I'm freaking out even more because it's still dark outside, and I'm hoping my clock is wrong, but all the other clocks in my house say the same thing. I grab my phone and start dialing my parents number, but realise they won't be at home, so I try to remember the number for my Mom's office. I go into my kitchen and everything is a mess.

1) I'm living at home, and this 20-something lady comes to live with us because she wants to take classes at our church. Dad asks me to show her around. She seems very cold and suspicious at first, but she warms up and ends up being a very nice girl. We all go to the beach to visit with my Mom's sisters. They're all arguing when we get there, and my Mom tries to make peace between them all. They start talking about all the sugar they ate as little girls. Then we all go see Gwen Stefani in concert and Gwen is throwing her shoes to everyone in the crowd.

1) I'm on a deployment and hanging out in my tent. Garah is there and we're talking about our careers. Garah says she's going to get out of the Air Force, but I tell her I'm staying in. I'm talking with some other guy about getting promoted. I'm worried about making Tech Sergeant on my next cycle, especially before I hit my ten-year mark.

1) I'm driving around up in Evansville, and I decide to go visit my grandparents. I get to their house, and my Mom is already there. I go inside and we talk and eat. I got back the next day, and my Mom is there again. The third day, I go back, and my Mom is there and she's bought a new Jeep. I go inside and ask her about it. She says she doesn't like it because it's too big, so I tell her she should get a truck like mine, but she's not sure about it.

1) I'm walking around in some strange city, when suddenly, everyone's skin turns inside out. Everyone's freaking out, but I just go and get in the shade. We all realise we can't be in the sun too long and we have to stay moist. I move into a hotel and I'm going to go use the pool, but the hotel starts charging people to use the pool, and I get all upset. Everything is fine for a few months, but something happens and we all decide we need to migrate to a better location. These big green aliens that kinda look like grasshoppers come down and help us. We're all in a big caravan and the leader of the big aliens gets really sick. Everyone is trying to figure out what to do, so they perform surgery on him. They open him up and I'm standing there, and they ask me to look inside to see if I can find out what's wrong. But I'm so disgusted, I can't do it. Everyone gets really upset with me, and I start to turn my head toward the alien and open my eyes.

1) I get shipped to a new base or something, and I have all my suitcases. I walk into the dorm and go to my room. I have a roommate, but he's out right now, so I kinda drop my stuff in the middle of the room. A bunch of guys come in and start talking to me. At first, I feel awkward, but they all seem like nice guys and we chat for a bit. We all go outside. The base is like a compound in the middle of nowhere. There are all kinds of people there, and they're all really paranoid about these killer bunnies. I see a pack of the bunnies, and they're really cute, but everyone tells me they'll rip you to shreds if you get too close. We're all out in the compound, and suddenly a siren goes off so everyone starts running from the bunnies.

1) I'm driving this huge truck around base looking for a certain building. I find the building, go inside, and start wandering around. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but I end up wandering out onto the flightline. There's a big cart full of bombs, and I accidently bump into them, and they start rolling toward a fleet of F-22s. I try to stop them, but the ramp is icy, and I just slide. The cart is about to hit a plane, and I finally stop the cart. Luckily, nobody was watching. I run back into the building, get into the truck, and start driving back to my shop. I find myself on a narrow alley, and there are people walking all over the place. There's a guy in the truck with me, but I don't know who he is. We're getting ready to turn a corner, when this guy and his two little girls walk right in front of me. I feel the truck run over them, and I immediately stop and start freaking out. The guy next to me gets out, but I can't move. I finally jump out of the truck, and I'm relieved to see the two girls are okay, but the Dad doesn't look good. The ambulance is already there, and they load the guy up and drive off. I'm just standing there, crying.

1) I'm in this big courtyard surrounded by some kind of apartment building on three sides. There are a bunch of guys watching television on one side and further down, Ellen Degeneres is watching a movie with some other girl. I go talk to Ellen, but I think I start to annoy her, so I go out into the courtyard and run around. There are fallen leaves all over the ground in huge piles, so I start running and jumping into the piles of leaves and rolling around in them. I get up and go see that the guys are watching TRL, and Madonna is on there and she says she's going to be in the street dancing to her new song, so everyone should come and dance with her. I go out into the street and there are tons of people out there and we all start dancing.

1) I'm out in the country in Union Country, where I grew up. A guy I went to high school with lives out there, and I'm walking to his house. I have to go through this red fence, and into a big barn with a bunch of farm machinery. There's a bunch of guys from high school in there talking about tractors, and I feel really out of place.

1) I'm on some kind of Air Force sports team and we're practicing in the gym. Chief Brown is the coach and we're running laps, but the only shoes I have are my Birkenstock clogs, and they keep falling off. I'm trying to run, but it feels like I'm running in water and I can't move my legs very fast. Chief says if I don't run faster, I'm going to have to run more laps.

2) I'm working backstage at a Gwen Stefani concert, and the stage keeps moving around. This big fat lady in the audience keeps trying to jump up on the stage, and I'm worried she's going to get hurt, so I keep trying to push her down, but she starts cursing at me and tries even harder.

3) I'm coming back from some kind of TDY and my squadron is on a bus. I sit down in an empty seat and MSgt Rogers sits next to me. He starts giving a speech to everyone on the bus about how disappointed he is in our performance. Then he sits down and starts talking to me. The bus starts going and I think the bus driver is lost. We start going down a big hill, and at the bottom is a big lake. The bus goes into the lake, but it's not very deep. We all get off and Alex is there.

1) I'm at Sea World, and I'm swimming around this big tank with a bunch of dolphins. A dolphin swims up next to me, and bites my finger and tries to take me to the bottom, but I get free. I swim to the side and get up on the ledge. A big truck comes along and starts dumping a bunch of dead dolphins into the tank. I try to climb higher, but I keep falling in.

2) Paul, Trish, and I are going on a road trip to my house, but there's a horrilbe accident and traffic is really backed up. We get out of the car and start walking around. I get my video camera out and we start filming each other. Then we see this huge motor home try to speed around the crash and it ends up flying over the side rails and catching on fire. We leave and get to my house and talk to my Dad for a while. Dooce is there and she and Paul discover that they're long lost cousins. We go to Church and both Caleb Moore and Caleb Wendt are there.

1) I'm riding around in a pickup truck with Caleb and Nina, and we're making plans to take a trip over Christmas. Nina keeps making a big deal about the fact she has to work on Christmas Day.

2) I'm working in Barnes & Noble, and I see this Japanese guy put a book inside his jacket. I start chasing him, and he runs out of the store. We're running down the street and it's in a big city and there are tons of people around, so I keep bumping into people. Another guy helps me try to corner him, but he keeps getting away. He crosses a major street, and just as he's getting ready to go onto the sidewalk, I jump and grab his legs and take him down.

3) I'm in an apartment that looks like the inside of the house in Morganfield. There are a couple kids there, and I think I'm babysitting. Suddenly, in the kitchen, water starts coming down from inside the ceiling. A lot of water. I don't know what to do, so I start putting towels down, but it doesn't do much good. A cop knocks on the door, but I just ignore him. He starts yelling at me to open the door, but I'm too busy worrying about the water in the kitchen. I find a big pan and start catching the water and tossing it in the sink each time it fills up. And then, just as suddenly as it started, the water stops.

1) I'm at a restaurant with Lindsay Lohan and some people from work. I get up to go to the bathroom, and Scott (a guy on RST with me) follows me. He starts talking to me while I'm peeing, and it makes me uncomfortable. We all leave and get into my truck. I drop everyone off at my apartment and make a run to the mall. My clock says it's only 8, so I have an hour left before it closes. I got to the T-Mobile place because I want to see when my contract expires, but it's already closed. I get kinda upset, and I'm looking around to see if they have hours posted. A couple guys come along that work there, but they don't open up.

1) I'm at some kind of Church retreat in a hotel in Gulf Shores, Alabama. I'm staying in a room with Brian Vertucci, an old fraternity brother of mine. We're walking back from breakfast and trying to decide what to do for the day. We want to go swimming, but we're not sure where. I tell him about how my parents were there a few weeks earlier. That night, we decide to go out bar hopping, but he wants to go to a different bar than I do.

1) Alex and I are in the lobby of a huge hotel in a big city. There are lots of people walking around, and we are trying to decide where to eat lunch. There are tons of restaurants, and I don't really care where we eat, but Alex is being really picky. We go into a restaurant and talk to the hostess and ask her how long it will be before we can sit, but then Alex changes his mind and we leave to go find another place. This repeats itself several times. Alex decides to check out a place on the second story, and I walk into another restaurant. I sit on a bench with a bunch of other people. A pregnant girl in BDUs sits across from me. We start talking and she says to me, "Once the Lord gives me this baby, I don't care if I ever eat again."

1) I'm in the dorm back in Vegas and I get a call really early one morning telling me I need to be at PT, so I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. I wonder if I should shave before I go to PT. I go back and sit on my bed and The Simpsons is on TV. I get to the gym and there are only a few people there. One of our female LTs is there and we run together.

2) Caleb and I go into Wal-Mart. I don't want to buy anything, but Caleb wants to look around. We sit at a table near the front of the store, and they start playing really good music. Caleb and I are freaking out because they're playing such great music at Wal-Mart. This big redneck guy comes along and tells us we're going to have to move because he's going to use the table for his barbrcue. We get up and go to the electronics department so we can hopefully find out who's DJing.

1) I'm sitting on the bed in my parents' bedroom and the phone rings. It's some girl who says she knows me and wants to meet me at a restaurant. I ask my parents where the restaurant is, and they give me directions. I get there, and she walks up at the same time. We sit down and talk for a while. I go back home and the phone rings again. This time it's Jerry and he tells me he'll be in town, so I should come meet him at the airport. I shower and get dressed and go pick Jerry up. We go to the mall, and I realise I haven't fixed my hair, so we stop to get some gel, and the lady at the store starts spraying us with all kinds of cologne. I end up spending a lot of money.

1) I'm part of some elite, secret crime fighting team, and we discover a bunch of hidden tunnels. We start following them and one of them comes up in the front yard of the house in Morganfield. We crawl up above ground and see my Dad playing softball. He's trying out for a softball team, so we tell him we'll practice with him. I'm running for the ball, and I knock over the mailbox. We try to put it back up, but when we're piling dirt around it, a lot of it falls back into the underground tunnel. Then we see this guy walking up the street. He gets closer and we see he's a Native American. Suddenly, there are tons of others behind him and they start running toward us. We go inside the house, but they're getting in a trying to kill us. I run out the back, and start leaping really far across the hills.

1) I'm at the house in Morganfield. My parents are there, but they have to leave to go get my grandparents, who are coming over for dinner. Mom asks me to clean up and start dinner. After they're gone, I'm working on cleaning up, but these zombie children start walking around in the yard, and I'm worried they'll get in and try to bite me. Mom and Dad get back, and they're kinda upset because I haven't gotten much done. I try to explain to them about the zombie children, but they don't believe me.

2) I'm in some kind of mental institution (possibly because of the zombie children story?), but it's in a cabin in the woods. I'm in this really long bay with about 20 other people, mostly guys, but there are a few girls. An orderly comes through every so often to feed us, but he's really mean and makes fun of us. One time he comes through and tells us he's been mixing human flesh into the food. He tells me one of the people he killed was "Katie" who he thought was my girlfriend. I told him I didn't date anyone named Katie, and we all jump out of our beds and tackle him and tie him up. We go out back and try to get someone to rescue us.

1) I'm in some kind of college class and Ben Stiller is the professor. I don't know anyone else in the class, but we start talking about which Black Eyed Peas songs we like. I tell everyone I can't stand the "My Humps" song, and they all get upset.

1) I'm at a dinner at the Webers' house with a bunch of people, including the Wheelers. It's great to see them again, and we talk and hug a lot. I look over to another table and see Dr. McIver, one of my music professors from college, and his son, Rob. Rob is there because he's taking over the Misawa Hospitality House. I have to go to the bathroom, and when I go in, there's water all over the floor, so I decide I'll try to fix it, but Jack and Lucy keep coming in, and I start talking to them, and other people are wanting to use the bathroom.

2) I'm in New York City taking care of this little puppy. I'm walking around the streets carrying it, trying to find a home for it. I stop in a barber shop and the puppy jumps on the floor and poops. The barber guy doesn't really seem to mind and cleans it all up. I ask him if he'd like to take care of it, but he just stares at me.

1) Paul and I are out in the country driving a flat-bed truck looking for two deer that somehow escaped from somewhere and we got tasked with catching them. We find the deer in a field and cut the barbed wire and the deer get in the back of the truck. We go to the Hospitality House and I download all the pictures I took from the deer adventure to the computer there. There are lots of people there, and everyone is getting ready to go to sleep, but I'm not tired. I start watching TV and Saturday Night Live comes on. I start laughing at one of the skits, and everyone gets frustrated at me.

1) It's Christmas Eve, and I'm at the Hospitality House in Misawa and it looks just like my grandparents' house. I'm playing cards with Amy and Jeremiah, a guy from work. There's nobody else there yet. I start thinking about how much food is in the kitchen because if a bunch of people show up before the next morning, we'll want to have breakfast and the commissary is already closed. Then, Jeni-Bomb comes in from the kitchen, and she's already made pancakes, but she calls them something else. I think it's kind of odd to have pancakes on Christmas Eve, but I'm more concerned if there's any syrup.

2) Alex and I are moving into an apartment together. It's on the 6th floor of a tall building in a big city, and it's kind of in a bad part of town. It's a studio apartment, and we decide to paint it. We place our beds right across from each other, and I start thinking we're never going to get any sleep because every night when we lay down, we'll start talking and then it will be morning.

3) I'm working in an office and I'm frequently running errands. One time, I get back, and there's a new girl working at the desk adjacent to mine. She's very timid and everyone else in the office talks about her. One day, Johnny is going to give her crap, and I stop him. He says he's just trying to make her tougher, but I tell him that if everyone would be nicer, we wouldn't have to be tougher.

1) I'm in this big warehouse with some people from my squadron and it's night time. This one guy is telling scary stories. People start disappearing and this other girl and I start getting kinda scared. One of the doors to the warehouse opens, but since it's dark outside, we can't really see anything. She and I realise we're the only ones left, so we just hold on to each other and stand in the middle of the building.

1) I'm walking around Wal-Mart and I hear Green Day playing outside and remember they're having another show. I didn't get tickets since I just saw them, but I'm kinda bummed because I wouldn't have minded seeing them again. I start thinking about how I'm going to write about it on my blog. I go to the employee office because they have a paycheck for me, then I go stand in line at the customer service desk to see if they'll cash it. There's a guy from my squadron in line in front of me.

1) I'm in this huge stadium, but I'm not sure if we're there to watch some kind of sporting event or a concert or what. I'm sitting next to this girl and I think we're on a date, but she starts talking about this other guy. Then, there's this detective walking around because there's been a murder, and the girl I'm with knows the person that was killed. I'm walking around trying to find the crime scene. I walk back to my seat, and the girl tells me to leave, because I can't really do any good. I go to the dorm on base, and I'm waiting for Brian, one of my troops, to call because he needs help moving.

2) I'm driving through New Orleans (although it looks strangely like Morganfield) at night in a '57 Chevy convertible. The streets are wet and there are only a few street lights working. Sean "Diddy" Combs is driving another '57 Chevy right next to me, and we're kind of racing, but I end up passing him. I drive out into the country and end up at a condo owned by this old lady. I stay at her place and take care of her cat while she goes back to her winter home for a while. I leave the condo and start driving out in the country, but it's still dark outside and even with the bright lights on, I can't really see very far in front of me. I get really nervous, so I stop and turn around and hope I can make it back to the condo without having a wreck.

1) I'm at a party with a bunch of work people. Johnny Frost is there and we're having a conversation about a bunch of punk bands, and I don't really know what I'm talking about, but I'm faking it pretty good. I want to leave and go to the Hospitality House, so I fake being really tired and tell them I have to get to bed. I go to the HH and meet the new missionaries. They have a huge dog who starts barking at me.

2) I'm staying at a big hotel and I'm sharing a room with Sleater-Kinney. We have a night full of great conversation and the next morning, they have to leave to go play in another city. I leave the room and I'm walking outside and I stop by a big gospel church and sit down for the service. The choir comes out and they sound great. I stay for the whole service, and as I'm getting ready to leave, everyone I see is really nice to me.

1) I'm walking through the gym in Misawa, and I'm on my way from the front entrance back to the cardio room. As I pass the basketball court, I see this girl running the perimeter, and she has these shoes on that make her bounce really high. I've got my iPod on and I'm listening to a song by the Shins. I start wistling along, and then I get worried that people will get annoyed and maybe I'm wistling out of tune because I can't really hear myself over the music anyway.

1) I'm walking through this huge mall with some random people I don't know. I stop and see Abby, who's working at a store there. She's on top of a big ladder, and I stand there for a long time because I don't want to say anything that would make her fall. I keep standing there and she doesn't see me, so I decide to walk around some more and come back later. I get some lemonade, and go to Banana Republic. Then I walk back to Abby's store, and ask her when she gets off. She talks to me for a while, but I feel like I'm distracting her from her work and I don't want her to get in trouble, so I leave.

1) I'm in my fraternity house, and Chandler and Monica from "Friends" are there. There is some kind of contest going on, but I don't really know what it is, so I'm just wandering around to everyone's rooms to socialise, but everytime I go into someone's room, they're on their way out.

1) Dad, Lisa Kudrow, and I are riding around. It kinda looks like Morganfield, but I'm giving directions to base, so we must be in Utah. I have Lisa's purse and she wants something out of it, but I have to take all this stuff out of it to get to the thing she wants. We start making all kinds of jokes about "Friends." We get to the base, and suddenly Keri, my cousin, is there with us, too. We talk about going to haunted houses. There's one on base, so we go get in line.