1) I'm travelling with a bunch of people (deployed?), and we're shopping in this huge market. Anna is there, and she says Dave is going to get married to some other girl. I feel bad for her and buy her a teddy bear. We all meet at a bar before going out to dinner, and Jeremiah is there. I'm surprised to see him at a bar. There are some music videos playing on a bunch of televisions on the wall, and Jeremiah is dancing around to one of them. We go outside, and we're in this really futuristic city. The streets are really wide and shiny, and there are little lakes all over the place. Some people jump in the lakes and start playing with beach balls. I don't want to get wet, so I start tossing a baseball with Alec.

1) I'm at work on a Friday afternoon, and there isn't much going on. It's a really clear day, so I'm thinking about going up to the top of one of the water towers and taking some pictures of the mountains. After work, a bunch of us get on a train to go to a White Stripes show. Kerry is with us, and she has all out tickets. We get off the train and practically run to the venue. There are fourteen of us. Kerry is first in line, and right behind her, there are some little 12-year-olds. I stand with Kerry for a second, and then go back to the rest of the group, and Kerry follows me. We start thinking about where we're going to stay that night, and I mention of a hostel I know right next to the venue (perhaps from a previous dream?). I get out of the line and go look for the hostel. I ask in Italian if they have any rooms free, and the lady says she can put six per room. I tell her we have fourteen, and she says she doesn't have much money. I tell her we'll all be paying in cash, and make the reservation. I'm walking back toward the venue, and I see Johnny and Corey. They're walking really fast and I'm practically running to keep up with them. I scream out to them to slow down, and everyone else around laughs at me.

1) I'm helping with a children's Sunday School class at my old Church in Morganfield. The main teacher keeps asking me for ideas for games or lessons for the kids. After Sunday School, I'm waiting in the parking lot for my Mom, and I set up my iPod right in the middle, so people can listen to music on their way to the worship service. The teacher comes by again asking for lesson ideas. Mom comes out and I tell her I don't really want to go to worship. She says I don't have to, but she's going to go anyway. I song with bad lyrics comes on my iPod, so I run up and try to shut it off, but it won't turn off, so I throw it in the back of Chris Thompson's car. I go into the service, even though they've already started, and sit down. There's a guy next to me in the pew in a hockey outfit. I get home before Mom, and I'm sitting in my room. I go to look for something to eat in the pantry, and I see a bunch of old spray paint cans. I take them into the basement and start spraying them to get rid of whatever is inside so I can take them to the recycling plant. Dad comes home and I tell him what I'm doing. He acts really depressed and goes into his bedroom. I hear a bunch of motorcycles outside, so I look out my bedroom window and see a big biker gang in the driveway of Mr. Clements's house across the street. They see me looking at them and they take off.

1) I'm in a deployed location somewhere, and it's raining really hard. I'm walking around camp with some guys in my shop. We stop at finance, and they tell me that when I get my utility bills, I have to go to the home fuels office to pay it. I tell them that I have automatic payments out of my Italian bank account, but they say it doesn't matter. I'm wondering if this is why my last bill was so high. We leave finance and we're walking into a restricted area of the base. There's a really cute girl working the gate, and one of my friends tries to hit on her. She tells him it's not working and that she won't let us in, so I tell her in a very non-threatening way to let us in. She thinks about it for a while, and starts to open the gate, but then her commander comes along and pushes her down.

1) I move to a big city somewhere, and my only choice of places to live are in these huge high-rise apartment buildings. I'm trying to find one close to work, and I keep looking at a map to find a decent one. I go inside the lobby of one, and ask if they have anything available, and the lady tells me they just rented their last one. Then I see MSgt Hammes walking out and he tells me he just got the last one. I get on my bike and I'm riding through downtown, wondering what their laws are for bike riders. There are tolls all over the place, but I don't pay any of them.

1) Nick Fuoss, Jack Black, a few other people and I are visiting a really old castle. There's a creepy caretaker who says we can go wherever we want. I start going down some really steep stairs. Nick is right behind me. I end up in some kind of dungeon and it's really cramped, so I tell Nick to turn around because I want to get out. We go back outside. Jack and one of the girls get trapped in some kind of hidden room for a long time, and the caretaker tells them they have to work their way out, so they have to rotate this giant rock to keep it from falling in a water hole.

1) I'm getting deployed, and the military is paying for us all to spend a weekend in a really nice spa. I'm taking a shower and these people keep coming in and bringing me soap and towels and stuff. After I leave the shower, this lady says she's going to give me a massage. At first, I don't want one, but then decide to go ahead and take it. She makes me go into a room for a few minutes where these guys take a bunch of pictures of me. When I leave the room, I find out they've made an exact clone of me. The massage lady finds me again, and brings me into another room. My clone is in there laying on his back. She lays some pillows on top of him, and I lay on the pillows so my clone and I are face to face. She says this is somehow supposed to relax me and help me look into my inner chi or chakra or something. I'm start talking to my clone, and he knows he's a clone, and I wonder what will happen to him after I leave. He asks another guy in the room if he's supposed to hear Madonna's voice talking to him. I lean down and start making out with my clone for a minute. He gives really wet kisses, but they're still kinda nice. The massage lady tells me to relax and she starts rubbing my back.

1) I'm living in a dorm, and after work one day, I see Mikey and ask if he wants to get dinner that night. He says yes, and I tell him I'll try to find Jay so he can go, too. I look all over for Jay, and when I find him, he's volunteering to help with some kind of banquet that night. He asks if I can move his truck for him. His truck is really big, and I'm worried about hitting stuff because I'm not used to driving it. Joe Powell is there, too, and he's trying to get stuff prepared for the banquet, and I tell him I haven't seen him since high school.

2) I'm walking around some town in Italy with Meredith and a couple other people. We stop in a little clothing store, and Meredith is picking out cool shirts for me. I start talking to the manager and she asks if I want to work there. I tell her I will, but that I can only work nights. I start meeting all the other people that work there, and I find that Theresa has moved to Italy and is working there, too. I get a copy of the next week's schedule, and I'm not on it yet. I keep asking if they want to me to work that weekend, and they say everyone works the weekends. I get worried about what time I'm supposed to be there. I walk outside, and the manager is sitting under a tree, and she tells me to come sit down. Then she starts asking me about the lyrics to a song she heard and what they mean. Something about a silver ladder and making a clock.

1) There is a hurricane or something coming, and I'm at home helping everyone pack things up and move to a better place. I see Dan and Paul, who I didn't think knew each other. I'm carrying a bunch of bags, and I'm trying to catch up with them, but they're really far ahead. After we drop off everything, a bunch of us are at a bar. I'm sitting with Joann, and I see Dan at another table. I'm wondering why he hasn't talked to me yet, and I think he and Joann would get along great. I get up to see if Joann wants to meet Dan, but when I turn around, she's gone. Corey says she's gone on another cruise.

1) I'm on base and some kind of exercise is going on, but I'm not really playing in it. I'm really hungry and I see a carload of girls going to lunch together, so I ask if I can hop in. I get inside, and they're all really funny and telling jokes and stuff. We get to a big cafeteria, and I sit at a table. I'm waiting for the girls to sit down, and there are a couple guys at a nearby table being really obnoxious. I think that maybe I should go beat one of them up, but they're both much bigger than me. Then I think it won't matter if I get beat up because they were the ones being rude and I will get sympathy from the girls. We go back outside and we're going to go back to work, but someone's car needs to be towed, so we're trying to find out how to tie the cars together. Amy Poehler is there, and I want to tell her this great idea I have for an SNL skit, but I'm sure she hears stuff like that all the time. We end up having, like, seven or eight cars tied together in a big train, but the only thing holding them together is a little magnet. I'm waiting at the exit and I see the first five cars drive by, but the last two or three got left behind.

1) Sherry and Jennifer, two girls from high school, come through Italy and stop for a visit. We decide to go shopping and end up at a mall in Utah. We go into a store and they're both looking for girl clothes, but I can't find the men's section. They catch up with me, and we find the men's section, but it's really small, and I don't find anything I like. We go back to Garah's house, which looks like my grandparents' house. We're tossing the frisbee outside, and it starts raining. Amy shows up, and we keep playing, even though it's totally pouring. We go back inside, and everyone takes off their wet clothes and I feel really awkward. Sherry is totally staring at my junk.

2) I'm working outside the Chapel, for some reason, and it's early in the morning. Some people show up, and are waiting outside. I use my work keys to let them in. They start singing songs, and invite me to hang out with them. They start getting really charismatic and waving their hands and dancing around. I just kinda stand there with my head bowed, but this lady next to me keeps grabbing my hands and rubbing on my arms. She pushes me into a crowd in the middle of the room and I can hear them all singing and crying. The song is really beautiful.

3) Jon and Garah are babysitting two little black girls, and decide to take them to the pool. They invite me, and when we get to the pool, it's really crowded. One of the girls has some legos, and we start to build some kind of castle. She wants to take the legos out on a raft in the water, but I tell her they'll fall off and get lost. We continue putting the castle together on the side. Garah goes over to the fence and suddenly falls asleep on the ground. Jon goes over and falls asleep, too. I walk over and I smell some kind of weird gas and I get really tired, but I keep myself awake. I grab Jon and Garah by the feet and try to pull them away. The girls are walking over, but I tell them to stay away. Nobody else seems to realise what's going on.

1) I'm trying to organise some kind of movie night on base, but Corey has the movie we're supposed to watch, and nobody knows where he is. Somebody tells me that the fire fighters have a bunch of movies, so I get in a truck and head to the fire department. For some reason, I'm in my blues, and while I'm driving there, this girl hops in the back of the truck. She's a lieutenant, and she's in her blues, as well. We have to trek through the woods to get to the fire station, and we meet up with two other guys, both in their blues, too. After we get there, I'm hanging out with the fire fighters, and they get me to eat this sandwich made with two sugar cookies and some kind of blue paste in the middle. Afterward, I have to lie down. They put this big blue tarp over me, and I pretend to go to sleep. I feel somebody crawl on top of me and put something on my neck.

1) I'm shopping at a grocery store, and a lady that works there tells me I could be shopping more efficiently. She hands me a list of food to buy, and tells me I have a certain amount of time to get it. I start racing around the store, but some of the stuff on the list they don't have. She keeps checking on me, and I'm trying to read the labels on all the stuff I'm buying, just to take more time to spite her. The lady is being really condescending, and when she walks the other way, I put all the food back. I'm walking toward the exit, and I see Pat Gamblin walking in, but she's talking on her cell phone, so I just smile and wave. Then my whole family is behind her. Dad asks why I'm upset, but just then I see MSgt Lewis's daughter and she's about to fall down, so I run to catch her.

2) I'm in the middle of a road and a bunch of friends from high school are on the side of the road. There's a car coming, so I'm walking to the side of the road and I drop my cell phone. I just leave it in the road, and when I turn around, the car runs right over it. I go back to grab it, and my phone isn't damaged at all, but it looks different and folds in half to make it smaller and easier to fit in my pocket. All my friends are going out to eat, so I follow them to the restaurant. When I get there, they're deciding whether to stay or not.

1) I'm in my shop, and this lady with a baby comes in and asks if she can use my computer. I assume she's the wife of someone in the squadron, so I say yes. I log off, and when I take my card out, all these web pages start flashing on the screen, none of which I've ever been to. A few of them are pornographic, and I'm a little embarrassed. I tell her I don't know why they're coming up like that, and she acts like she doesn't believe me. Then some really weird pages about African art come up, and I'm all, "Really, I have no interest in African art." Then she starts to believe me. Tony Hairston comes in and starts telling jokes to Ryan. I hear the joke, but I keep missing the punch lines, and I don't want to act like an idiot and keep asking him to repeat the punch lines.

1) I'm in a church I've never seen before. My whole squadron has just finished PT, and I need to shower before I go to work. I'm walking around with my uniform in my bag trying to find out if they have a locker room. I walk up to the third floor and I see Nate Lawson, who has obviously got out of the shower. I ask him where the shower is, and he says there isn't one. I keep looking and find the shower, but now I don't have time because I don't want to be late for work. I walk outside and the Tour de France is going by. Shaun and Nate are watching it, and they're talking about throwing rocks and sticks at the riders.

1) I'm staying with Stacy, a girl I went to high school with. She's married to another guy I went to high school with, but I don't know where he is. I'm sitting on the couch watching a movie, and Stacy keeps getting closer and closer to me. I tell her I'm going to take a shower, and she gets a towel out for me, but won't leave the bathroom. So I go back and sit on the couch. Stacy practically sits on top of me. I tell her she's making me uncomfortable, and she acts really hurt. I go back into the bathroom, and when I pull back the shower curtain, it's a huge bathtub that I could practically swim in.

1) My Mom is taking pilot lessons and she's about to get her license. I'm on a really small plane with her and three or four other people. Mom is flying it, and we're taking off from the airport. There are tons of other planes all over the place, and Mom is having a hard time getting clearance from the tower. They finally give her the go-ahead, and we're going down the runway. She has to manoeuvre around all these other aircraft. Suddenly, I'm in a car following Mom's plane through downtown Morganfield. She's flying really low and can't get through all the power lines. The plane crashes right across the street from our Church. I speed over and pull everyone out of the plane. They're all fine, and Mom is really angry because she was doing what the tower told her to do, but they didn't give her enough time to gain altitude over the city. She hops in the car with me and we go to the police station. Dad is there, and he says the cops have to put everyone in the plane in jail for 30 minutes.

1) I'm in a hospital operating room with a bunch of doctors. A new guy in my squadron, Bob, is laying unconsious on the operating table. The doctors ask me if he's ready for his operation, and I tell them I've taken all the change out of his pockets. One of the doctors starts putting all these paper towels around his chest, I'm guessing to soak up blood when he cuts Bob open. He does some other prep work, and then all this change starts falling out of Bob's pockets. All the doctors glare at me, like I didn't do what I was supposed to do. I get the rest of the change out of his pockets, and then the doctors tell me to just go ahead and take his pants off. So another guy and I take off his pants. Then the doctor asks me if I want to make the first incision. So I take the knife and I make a cut in Bob's chest, and it doesn't feel like I thought it would. After that, the doctor says we have to put Bob on the floor for a minute, and I think, "Well, that can't be very sanitary." But I do what the doctor tells me anyway.

2) I'm hanging out with some guys from work at a barbecue in a park. We're talking about what happened the night before at the bar, but I wasn't there, so I'm just listening to their stories. I see Pat Fawcett walk by and wonder if he recognises me. Aaron starts talking about how he tried to text Steven, but Steven never responded. Then he punches in some numbers on his phone and this big fire ball comes out of the sky and hits the tree next to us. Everyone starts laughing about it, but I'm thinking, "Wow! That was really close!" Then they all start punching numbers into their cell phones and all these big fire balls start falling. I'm running all over trying not to get hit by one of them, and run beneath a shelter.

1) I show up to PT Friday morning, and I'm getting ready to run with everyone in my squadron. Then some guy comes up to me and asks if I can move my truck, so I move it into some kind of indoor parking garage. I'm trying to find a spot, and there are lots of people walking around, making it hard to drive. I get back to my squadron, but they've already run and I missed it. They were in some kind of race with another squadron, and we won. Then everyone lines up for a big formation, and I pass by a female Major from the other squadron. She gives me a really mean look, so I salute her because I think that's what she wants me to do. Then we all get called to attention, and the Major keeps glaring at me. I have no idea why she's upset.

1) I'm deployed to Afghanistan with everyone in my shop. While we're there, we all get tasked for security duty. I'm at one end of the compound with a cop, and we're sitting at our post talking. He's telling me all about his job, and how our rotations go. I finish my time there, and go to the other side of the compound where MSgt Lewis is posted. Eventually, almost all the guys from my shop are there, and we're hanging out and socialising. I look into the compound and see that we're really high in the air. I start thinking about how I'm going to blog my deployment, especially if we're up in the clouds.

1) I'm on a youth trip, and we're staying in a big hotel. I don't know anyone there except Brother Sam. We all wake up one morning for Church, and decide to go to breakfast beforehand. Sam tells me the place we're going has wi-fi, so I bring my computer along. I have to go to the bathroom, and I'm standing at the urinal trying not to drop my computer. I leave the bathroom and I'm looking for the table where everyone is sitting. I walk to the lower floor, and don't see anyone. I walk back upstairs and see everyone back in the corner. I ask if they've already ordered. I'm getting ready to sit down and I drop my computer.

1) My brother and his wife decide to have a second wedding, this one more formal and in a Church. I'm getting ready to go to the wedding, and my Grandmother asks if I can help her get ready. I'm retrieving her shoes and purse, and I accidentally trip and mess up her hair. She's very upset, but tries not to let me know. I take her to her house so she can redo it. Her house is all decorated for Valentine's Day. We get to the wedding and I see my Mom all dressed up. I tell her she's beautiful and I start crying.

1) I'm working on a highway construction crew, and it's the end of the day and we're driving home. I'm sitting in the bed of a pickup truck with a few other guys. We're driving down this narrow highway with big walls on either side. Suddenly, a big barrel starts rolling at us, but because of the walls, the driver can't go around it. The barrel bounces right over us. Then another one, which also bounces over us. Then a really big barrel comes at us. Each time, we think it's going to kill us, but it keeps bouncing over us. We stop the truck to check out the big barrel. Then we see another truck coming toward us. We think it's going to help us take care of all the barrels, but it just keeps charging toward us. Just when we think it's going to hit us, it starts to fly over us. The tail end of the truck lands on me and two other guys. It feels like it's crushing us, but we don't die.

2) I'm at a really big church, attending a service on Sunday morning. After the service, I'm walking out and see a little shop next to the exit. I go inside and buy a poster. When I pay for it, the cashier girl apologises because it's a really expensive poster. I tell her I don't care. There are two girls in line behind me, and they are giggling. I glance at them, and one says, "You smell like alcohol!" I tell the cashier girl I'd also like a Corona, and she rings it up and hands it to me. Then the girl behind me says, "Your fingernails are dirty!" I tell her I work construction, and then I give her the poster I just bought. They both giggle some more. I walk outside with the beer and start drinking it. I'm trying to remember where I parked, and I'm trying to think of the best place to drink the beer. I don't want to sit in my truck and drink it, but there aren't any tables or anything around.

1) My parents and their friends are visiting Vegas with me. I have my own hotel room, and one day I come back and there's some old guy sitting on my bed. I start talking to him, and he's really nice, but he keeps wanting me to lay down with him. I ask how he got in, and he says there weren't any other rooms left, so they just threw him in with me. I leave the room and meet my parents at the mall inside the casino. I see an Armani store, and I'm trying on sunglasses. My parents tell me they're going to buy my a pair, but I can't decide on which ones I want. I can tell the sales lady is getting frustrated because I keep trying on different pairs and none of them look just right. One pair looks like it was made out of meat, and when I pick them up, they fall apart. Mom gives me some really expensive gloves, and I think she wants me to use them to pay for the sunglasses, but the Armani lady says they only take cash.

1) It's near Christmas, and I'm back in Kentucky. I'm doing some Christmas shopping. After leaving the mall, I go by Toys-R-Us, and it's really new and modern. They have all these really fancy, hi-tech toys. I go to another part of the store, and it's all action figures. Everyone is sitting around playing with these GI Joes that take on the shape of your face when you hold them. I go to another part and see a bunch of life-size Transformers, and they're having an argument about something. I see all my friends from Italy there, and they're talking about how you can become a cartoon character on the Simpsons, and when you sleep, your cartoon character self lives in Simpsonland. It kinda creeps me out, so I pass. Jason says he needs to go home, but he doesn't want to sleep at his house, so I tell him he can crash at my house.

1) I'm at my house in Morganfield, and I walk outside into the driveway. I look over at the Gamblin's house, and it looks like they're getting ready to go boating. Garah comes over and we start talking. I tell her I'm thinking about going to the river today, too, and she says she'll come with me. We walk to the river, and there's a big marina there. David Bowie has a houseboat there, and it's really modern and brightly coloured. We go onto the house boat, and I see Brian Doughty there. Garah starts talking to David Bowie, and I'm talking to Brian, but the whole time, I'm wondering what Garah and David are talking about.

1) I'm working on a weekend, and I keep switching in and out of uniform. I'm doing some repairs on a well, and MSgt Hammes and SSgt Barnett show up. They say there's just looking around, but I feel like they're checking up on me. I go home and Abby is there. We're hanging out in my living room, and Abby says, "Is that a horse in your yard?" I look outside, and there's a horse walking just outside my fence. I walk outside, and my vision starts to get really blurry, especially in my right eye. After that, we meet up with Shaun and go to some guy's house because he's having a party. The whole time I'm worried about having to go to work or getting a standby call. There are lots of drugs there, and even though Shaun acts freaked out, I think he secretly wants to try some. We leave the party, and I go to my parents' house, which looks like a cross between their house and my house. Nobody's home, so I go inside and start playing with Rudy. I let him outside, and he's really excited and starts running around. I'm chasing him around and laughing. There's a big waterslide in the back yard, and he keeps jumping in and sliding down. One time he jumps in and the pressure surges and he comes out the bottom really fast and hits the house really hard. I run over and see him lying in a pile of leaves. I pick him up and he's broken his neck and he's not breathing. I start crying.

1) I've been volunteered to meet General Franklin's (the base commander for Aviano) plane, so I put on my best uniform and head to the flightline. His plane lands, and I walk up the stairs and salute and all the other stuff I'm supposed to do. Then I see the whole USAFE commander with him, so I do all the proper military stuff again. General Franklin starts joking around with me and tells me to loosen up. We leave the plane, and I meet his assistant, another Staff. He and I and couple other airmen walk behind the hangar and we're looking around for some kind of part he needs to fix the airplane. I ask him how he likes his job, and he says it's pretty cool, but he doesn't have time to meet girls or anything.

1) I'm managing a band, and we have a deal set up with a guy who runs a club. The band is supposed to play there, and the club guy is supposed to promote it, but he's backing out on his end of the deal. Meanwhile, I have to go to work on base on a weekend and take care of some wells. I'm driving around base trying to find some chlorine and I get a standby call at the dorm. I get there and I'm looking for a certain dorm room, wondering if it's someone I know. After that, I'm hanging out with Abby and bunch of her friends. We're playing Pictionary, and everything Abby draws has to do with nursing, but nobody can guess what she's drawing because nobody else knows anything about nursing and she's drawing really complicated stuff. After that, we go to a mall, and I walk into a music store and see all these Madonna albums I don't own. I'm wondering how I'd never heard of them before.

1) I'm at a Madonna concert. She's performing in a big stadium, and is using the entire field as her stage. I'm sitting at a bar at one end with a bunch of girls I don't know. They're really nice, though, and we keep buying each other drinks. Madonna has an entire marching band with her, and I keep watching the video screens because I can't see very well from where I am. Toward the end of the show, Madonna pulls me up and puts this red jacket on me. She tells me she's going to start singing, and I have to lead the way where she's going to walk through the crowd. I tell her she's probably going to get mauled by everyone, but she doesn't care.

1) I'm in Kentucky, and I'm going on a big camping trip with a bunch of people. We're going to caravan, with some people driving a big truck with bicycles and motorcycles towed behind. I'm riding a really cool blue sport bike, and we're getting ready to cross the bridge over the Ohio. I see something to the side of the road right before we get to the bridge, so I stop. Someone has gone off the road and down into the riverbank. A few others in the caravan stop behind me. I get out my phone, which looks really different, and try to call 911. Some really hot black girl has her cell phone out, too, but whenever she opens it up, it messes up everyone else's reception. Ryan was in a vehicle ahead of us, and he comes back across the river to find out what's up. He says he's going to take my bike across and put it on the trailer. Before I can say anything, he's already on my bike, but when I look again, there are two bicycles instead of one motorcycle. He pedals away, and I'm still trying to find out what happened to the guy who went into the river.

I'm in a big city in Japan, perhaps Sendai, and I'm walking around downtown trying to find where I'm supposed to be. I walk into a school, but I can't read any of the signs, so I'm following pictures and end up in a pit at the bottom of some stairs. I get out and walk outside, and end up getting on some kind of rainbow coloured blimp with a bunch of other Americans. But we're not in the blimp...we're riding on top of it, but it has seats there, so it's kinda safe. Still, when we're flying through the air, I keep feeling like I'm falling off. The lady next to me keeps grabbing me by my pants and pulling me back on. The blimp lands in another city (Morioka?), and we all get off. I see Rachel walking with another girl, but she doesn't look interested in talking to me. I walk to a cool concert venue that I think I've been to before, possibly with Caleb Moore.

I'm walking around campus at Kentucky Wesleyan. It's getting dark and I need to head home. I get in my truck and drive to some kind of underground ferry. I get out of my car and see Katie Holmes. I start walking with her toward the passenger deck, but I can't get on because I left my ID in my car. Jack Black is there, and he starts making threats toward us. I don't have time to get my ID, so I start wandering around the parking garage part with Katie. Jack is following us, and we're really scared. He keeps getting closer and closer, saying he's going to kill us. Katie runs away, and I turn around just as Jack is getting ready to jump me. I put my hands out and grab his neck. I start strangling him. I'm surprised at how easy it is. He falls over in a corner, dead. I'm so tired I pass out. I wake up and Katie is standing over me. She helps me up and I realise I've been sleeping next to Jack's body. We walk outside and the sun has come up.

1) It's night time, and I'm in a big hedge maze, but the hedges are pretty low, so I can see around okay. It's big enough to drive my truck through, and there are all kinds of old statues everywhere. Tavia and Theresa are there, and we're looking for Theresa's son, Landon. I keep running into people I know from high school, but I can never talk long to any of them because we're trying to find Landon. We find a bunch of people on a hayride going through the maze, so we jump on board and start looking for Landon. The people on the hayride are kinda surprised, but we tell them we're on a mission. We get back in my truck and head toward this huge mansion on one side off the maze. We get closer and we see Landon playing in one of the rooms on the second story. Theresa says we can go back and talk to my high school friends because she just wanted to know where he was.

1) I'm in a big casino with a group of people I don't know very well. I'm walking around and this really hairy midget starts robbing people at gunpoint. I get on the ground and hope that he doesn't see me, but he does. I start talking to him, and he gets really annoyed. He turns around and starts rolling around on the carpet. I get up and run up to the hotel. I see a group of lesbians and they say they're having a party in their room, so I join them. I go into their hotel room and I feel really out of place.

I'm going to the lake with Garah and Cale. We're staying in a condo and we have to walk a short distance to get to the marina anytime we want to go out on the boat. When we walk to the marina, we pass by a group of carpenters who are always working. We get to the lake and we're riding around in the boat, and I'm in the water and I swim to the shore and find all kinds of guns and knives laying on the bank. I'm worried that a little kid will find them, so I look for a policeman or coast guard guy to tell. We go back to the condo and I buy some beer, but when we go back to the boat, I've forgotten the beer at the condo. We stop to eat, and I tell Garah I'm gonna run back and get the beer, but she says she'll be fine with water, so I forget about the beer.

1) I'm on some kind of retreat, but I'm not sure if it's Church- or military-related. We're in a field, playing games and stuff. That evening, we're gathered in a building with a bunch of windows. Amber Lauer and I start talking about how there was a bunch of garbage around and how nobody picked up after themselves. She looks out the window behind me and gasps. I turn around and, off in the distance, I see this guy with a big pumpkin head and there's stuff exploding all around him. We all look out the window. When he sees us, he pours something in a little cup and throws it. It hits the side of the building we're in and it blows up. Nobody is hurt, but everyone is panicking. He runs away, but still keeps throwing these little explosives at us. None of them hit us again.

1) I'm staying in a hotel on a base somewhere, and it's time for me to check out. There were some other people staying in the same room as me, but they've already left. I go to the front desk, and the lady there tells me I have to have my room checked before I can leave. I go outside and walk around the back side of the building and take an outdoor elevator up to my floor. I have to crawl in a window to get to my room, and when I get there, the lady tells me I'm good to go, but I have to turn in my key. I tell her I've already turned in my key, and she says she'll have to go check. I go back to the front desk, and there's another lady working there who has made some pastries and she's really nice. I ask her if I can leave, and she says it's okay. I walk out the door and walk into a downtown market area. Amy Nelson is there, and she's dyed her hair black and grey. I talk to her for a minute, and then Paris Hilton comes and sits on my lap. At first, I'm kinda excited, but I don't want people thinking I'm the kind of guy who sucks up to Paris Hilton, so I throw her off my lap, and start walking out of town.

1) I'm a little kid again, and I'm riding in a hot air balloon with my Dad. We're going all over the area around our house, and he's telling me all kinds of stories of things that have happened there in the past. I look down and see that we're right over a big swimming pool. Dad starts taking us lower, but something happens and we descend really quick. We hit the water and go really deep. I start to wonder if we're going to live and if Dad will be able to save us.

2) I'm going to work, and after I get on base, I stop at the shoppette to grab a coffee and a pastry. I'm waiting in line, and Kylie Minogue is in there. I'm trying not to stare, but she's really gorgeous. I'm waiting in line to pay, and this other guy comes up and keeps giving me flyers for concerts and other things he's selling. Kylie is in line right behind me and she starts dancing around and gets really close to me. Then she starts licking my face and grabbing my junk. We're dancing and talking. I think she's trying to sell something, but I keep dancing anyway. She's basically on top of me, and I'm wondering how long this has gone on. I grab my phone and see that the time is 7:19, so I drop Kylie and run outside because I'm late for work. When I get outside, there are a bunch of cops running around in field gear. They tell me to get on the ground because we're getting attacked. I reach in my pocket to grab my keys and see that I've left them inside. It's raining, and I lay in the mud, but it's surprisingly warm. I wish I could have made it to my car, but at least now I won't get in trouble for being late.

1) I'm at some kind of family gathering. My grandparents are there, and so is Charis Young. But everyone else is from the cast of Roseanne. I think they're having a party for me, but I'm getting overwhelmed, and keep going to the bathroom and sitting on the floor. A girl from the party comes into the bathroom, and she's really attractive, and I'm not sure where I know her from. We start talking and end up making out. While we're making out, Charis walks in and gets really upset. I go back to the party and everyone's angry with me and leaving. I follow the Roseanne people back to a big apartment building next to an airport. They're still very angry with me and go to bed, but I stay up. I'm looking out the window toward the airport, and I'm watching the planes land and take off. This really huge plane is coming in for a landing, and it looks like it's starting to take off again, and then it crashes. The explosion is huge and is knocking buildings over. Our apartment building is really close and I'm wondering if it's going to get knocked over. I go into the other bedroom and wake up John Goodman, but he doesn't care. I go back to the window and just as I get there, the whole apartment building starts to fall over.

2) I'm in Italy, and I go to some kind of amusement park. I decide to walk home and take a shortcut through a little park. I see Michelle Pfeiffer sitting on a blanket and Cate Blanchett walking down a path that crosses mine. I smile politely and say hi. I cross the street and there are lots of cars coming, but they all stop for me. After I cross the street, I'm walking by a fence. I stretch out my arm and touch the fence, but as soon as I touch it, it gets really hard to walk. My legs get really stiff, and I'm trying to pull myself along by the fence.

1) Jerry Howard and I are walking through the mall in Owensboro. We pass by some guys that are selling bicycles, and they're trying really hard to get us to buy one. While they're talking to us, I look over and see the store I used to work at while I was in college, and Cindy Collier is still working there. I brush off the bike salesmen, and Jerry and I walk in to see Cindy. She gives me a hug and immediately starts talking about all the guys that are asking her out. I'm assuming she's gotten a divorce, but I don't want to ask outright. She keeps talking, and eventually gets around to why she divorced her husband. She talks about how he's now a music teacher and he's never home and she couldn't handle it anymore. She even gets her work schedule and shows it to me as evidence that she works all the time because her husband is never home. I feel bad for her, and I want to talk to her, but she won't shut up about her divorce. I look at Jerry and he rolls his eyes and leaves the store. I'm trying to slowly inch my way out of the store, but every time I get close, Cindy grabs me by the arm and pulls me back in.

1) I'm watching a music awards show on television, and there are tons of great bands there. The venue isn't very big, and they're all sitting at tables. The President comes out to make a speech, and when the camera pans the audience, they're all making faces and rolling their eyes. I see Peaches there, and she's crawling on the table and pouring water on herself. I think it's awesome and wish I was there, and suddenly, I'm at the ceremony sitting in a big chair in the middle of the room. Franz Ferdinand comes out to play, and when the Alex comes out, he trips and falls. Then, every time another band comes out to play, someone from the band falls down, and it's a big joke the rest of the evening.

2) Something having to do with a big chair in my parents' living room, and there's some orange candy that fell down between the cushions. For some reason, my Mom thinks it's mouse poop, and she freaks out when I reach in a grab it, but I keep telling her it's just candy. I also find lots of other stuff like a tape measure and catalogues.

3) My family and Garah come to visit me in Italy, and it's the same week that a bunch of my friends from SLC come to visit. I tell all my friends I'll meet them at the mall because I'm not sure my parents would get along with my friends. But when I go to the mall to meet them, I bring my parents and Garah along. We stop outside the mall, and they want to have a picnic because Garah has baked a cake for me. We're trying to eat, but my SLC friends keep calling and asking for directions because they've never driven in Italy before and don't know where to go.

4) I'm watching an episode of Six Feet Under, but the cast is totally different. Sally Field is the mom and Christina Ricci plays a cousin who comes to stay with them. There's also an infant they've taken custody of, but the infant's natural grandmother wants the baby back. Christina Ricci keeps arguing with the brother and sister, and Sally Field goes outside because the grandmother just drove up. I'm standing in the yard watching the two ladies fight, and I look on the ground and see this little orange glowing light. I look at the house, and a big bomb goes off, blowing up the inside of the house. Both ladies and I are blown out into the yard. I get up and I hear Sally Field crying for the baby.

1) I'm driving to a big mall, and I'm not sure if malls are the same in Italy, so I'm looking all over for a parking spot and trying to do the same thing as everyone else. I go inside, and there's a big Wal-Mart, and it's all Americans working inside. I walk inside, and they're trying to sell me a television, and keep pressuring me into looking at these off-brand big screen TVs. They have a form to fill out so they know what you're interested in, so I fill out a form, but I don't pay any attention to what I'm writing. Then all these salespeople are following me around. I finally get out of the Wal-Mart, and as I'm walking back through the mall, I see Stephanie Howard, and she's soaking wet. I walk up to her and ask if there's anything I can do. She says yes, but doesn't tell me what. She goes into the restroom, and I stand outside the door. She opens the door and gives me her wet clothes. I start looking around the mall for women's clothing stores so I can buy her dry clothes.

I'm in Utah, and I'm getting ready to drive to Baltimore, but instead of my truck, I'm in a big van. I'm running a few errands before I leave, and Chris and Doug are with me. We stop by a grocery store to grab some munchies, and while we're in there, I see this guy acting really weird. He's clearly unstable, and he creeps me out. I tell Chris and Doug we need to leave, but they're talking and kinda brush me off. I grab Chris by the arm and start yelling at Doug. I finally get them out of the store, and as soon as the door shuts, a bomb goes off. We keep walking down the sidewalk and get back in my van. We're kinda freaked out, but we don't stick around. We just drive down the road.

1) I'm in Mrs. Edmondson's English class back in high school. She divides us up into groups of five or six, and we have to go on a big scavenger hunt. The list she gives us isn't the actual things we have to get, but clues we have to solve to find out what we have to get. The clue I'm working on says something about ingredients in some kind of junk food, so I go to the grocery store, and I'm running all over checking ingredients in ice cream and candy and stuff. I'm trying to keep up with everyone else on my team, but they're all looking for different clues, so we keep getting separated. I can't find what I'm looking for, and keep re-reading the clue. I check in with Mrs. Edmondson, and one team already has their first object. I look at the clue again, and decide to check out the frozen cheesecakes. I'm trying to find them in the grocery store, but I somehow get lost and end up in come kind of carnival with a bunch of games.

1) I'm at work, and the structures guys ask if I can help out on a project. We gather a bunch of parts together and go out to the flightline. Romy and I get on this platform and it raises us up a couple hundred feet in the air. It's really shakey and I'm nervous we're gonna fall off. We're not tied off or anything, and I'm sitting down. I can tell Romy is a little nervous, too. There's another platform up there that we have to work on, and every time I have to go over to the other one, it teeters a little and parts fall off the side. I look down and see all the other guys watching us.

1) I'm in my truck and I'm pulling up to go shopping at a Banana Republic. I leave my sunglasses in my car because I don't want to lose them. I go inside and see Aaron Fenstermaker working. I run up to her and hug her and ask why she's working at Banana in Utah. We chat for a bit, and then I see all kinds of people I know working there, including Sharon from Roosters. I'm walking around the store, and I get confused by which section is the men's section and which is the women's. I look down and my pants are gone and all I can see is my boxers. I'm walking around looking to see if anyone has my pants. I keep telling myself I'm not dreaming because I can feel my toes moving around in my shoes. I look back down, and I have my pants on again, but my wallet and keys are gone. I see a bunch of thugs walking around, and I'm almost certain they're the ones who took my pants. I kinda follow them around the store and purposefully bump into one of them. He glares at me and I glare back at him. I walk back over to Aaron and ask her if she saw anything, but she didn't.

1) I'm in an antique mall with my Mom and two girls who I think are twins, but they must be fraternal because one is blond and the other is brunette. We're walking around, and I come across an old corridor, and open up a big door into the floor. I just open it a little bit, but some kind of spirit flies out and there's glitter all over the place. I get this wonderful feeling and I can't stop smiling. I find Mom and the twins and they're feeling really good, too. We keep walking around the mall, and I go back and check on the big door. It opens a little more and more glitter comes out. Every time I check on it, it's opened a little more. When it opens all the way, I'm feeling really, really good, but when I go to find Mom and the twins, I can't find them. I go into one store, and see them, but I get closer and they've turned into statues. I start freaking out and wondering if anyone will believe me. I look to see how much the price tag on them is so I can buy them and take them home to see if I can fix them.

2) I'm snowboarding at some resort I've never been to before. Jay is there with me, and it's getting close to the end of the day. He tells me he's been charged with some kind of crime in Indiana, but he's going to give them my name to get him off the hook since I'll be in Italy. He keeps telling me to come visit him, but if the cops are going to be looking for me, I don't want to. We go into the lodge to warm up, and I'm trying to get a picture of the side of the mountain, but every time I get ready to take one, it gets really foggy.

1) I'm standing outside Buckingham Palace with a little girl and we're playing a video game that's been set up for display. An old lady walks by and says something about watching our backs. We hear a gunshot go off, and I turn around to see a lady fall on the ground and into an underground tunnel. I run up to her, and see that it's Princess Diana. I take off my jacket and put it around her. I keep telling her she'll be fine and yelling at everyone else to call an ambulance. She's very calm, but she keeps wanting to turn over. I tell her to remain still.

1) I'm flying somewhere out of SLC, and I have a layover in Boise. When I get there, they tell everyone that all flights have been cancelled because a big blizzard is on the way. I ask a lady if they're going to put us up in a hotel, and she says no. I start looking around the airport for good places to crash, but every time I find one, someone takes it right before I do. I'm trying to think if I know anyone in Boise, and the only person I can think of that's been stationed near there is Steve Gerke, but I don't have his number, so I call Jason Johnson to see if he has it, but he doesn't Then I call Chad because I know he used to live in Boise and still has a lot of friends here. And I'm thinking maybe he can pull some strings and one of them will let me stay at his place and shower and stuff. I call Chad, but instead I get his Mom's voicemail, so I leave a message asking if somehow Chad could give me a call back. I get a call back from Chad and he says he changed his number because he has a new job as a flight attendant. I start talking to this really hot flight attendant who's also stuck in the airport, and she and I watch a movie on my laptop.

1) It's my first day back at work, and I'm running late. As I'm going through the gate, I realise I still haven't gotten a haircut yet, and there's no way I can show up like this. I drive around the flightline trying to decide what to do. I stop at the gym hoping to find a barber shop. Weird Al is sitting in a table there, and he says he needs me to take my PT test. I tell him I can't because I just went snowboarding the day before and my abs are sore. I ask him to call Dr. Earle (my old piano professor) and tell her I have to get a haircut before coming in to work. I sit with him and two girls at a table waiting for a barber. After that, I go outside but I can't find my car. I end up walking to the house in Morganfield, and it looks like my Mom is home for lunch. I go next door to Garah's house, and there's a girl with green skin in their garage. She's some kind of mutant, and I ask if she can get me back to base. She grabs me and we start flying toward base, but she doesn't take me all the way there. I get onto base, and I see a bunch of kids walking to school. I see the mutant girl, but she doesn't have green skin anymore.

1) I'm in Italy, and I'm talking with a bunch of people at work. Some of them are mad because they have to work Christmas Eve, but I don't think I do. I go to the commissary because I have to pick up strawberry jam, and I start thinking that it's ridiculous, and I should just get some when my other jar runs out because I live really close. I get in my car to drive home, and there's a big parade going by with tons of circus animals. I stop at a light, and when I look in my side mirror, I see a bunch of gorillas walking down the sidewalk. I'm kinda nervous because I don't know if they're dangerous or not.

1) I'm at a Smashing Pumpkins concert, and I'm right down front. I'm taking tons of really great pictures of Billy Corgan and the entire band. I notice that D'Arcy is playing the drums for some reason. They start to play "Today" and Billy does a huge stage dive into the crowd. They pause for intermission, and Courtney Love comes out to play an acoustic set. Everyone leaves except for me and one other person. I start screaming for Courtney and telling her how awesome I think she is. She throws big jawbreakers out, and I'm picking them up. We start talking, and I'm wondering when her new solo album is going to come out.

1) I'm in college, and I go into this room in the dorm. The room looks like a big dungeon, and a bunch of people are playing some kind of role playing game. They ask me to join in, so I do. I don't really know what's going on, but right after I sit down, the guy beside me loses, so he gets up and leaves. Everyone else decides to give me all his cards. Whenever I look at the cards, the characters on the cards come to life and act out what you're supposed to do when you play the card. They're trying to teach me how to play and give me tips and stuff. I start asking which card I should play, but it takes so long because I have to wait for the card to act it out before I can find out what it does. I end up playing a card, and a big, goofy cartoon mouse gets grabbed by some monster. The monster tries to pull him through a brick wall, but the mouse is too big and doesn't fit. The monster keeps pounding the mouse up against the wall. The mouse loses consciousness and wakes up in real life. He's in this gorgeous atrium with lots of green vegetation and some tables with tea and biscuits. He starts walking around, glad that he's out of the jaws of the monster.

1) I go home to Kentucky, and Mom tells me that Garah and I are playing piano at Church the next day. When I get to Church, Garah gives me the music I'm supposed to play, and right then, everyone starts coming in for the service. I'm really nervous because I haven't practiced at all. After the sermon, Garah starts playing, but she's playing the wrong song. I don't know what to do, so I start passing the offering plate. After Church, we go over to the Mason's house, and Camille is really pregnant.

1) I'm at a barbecue at work, and I'm walking around trying to finish up some stuff while everyone else is eating. I look out the window and see Lucy Weber, so I start running around trying to find Don and Jean-Marie. I see them in another room and start talking to them. My Dad shows up and asks if I'll ride with my Mom to the store. I get in the driver's seat and Mom gets in and tells me to drive across this big field. We finally get to a highway, and we have to cross a couple lanes of traffic to go the right direction. I'm waiting for cars to pass, and a couple of them are going really slow. We finally get a chance to go, and I see a big fence in a median that wasn't there before. So I turn right and hope to get a spot to turn around later. A cop pulls up behind us and turns his lights on, but then goes past us.

2) I'm in high school and I'm trying to impress some girl, so I start cutting up all my clothes to look tough. Our friends set us up on a date, but her parents want to meet me. I get my friends to help me fix up my house, and when her parents get there, they totally drill me on my intentions. They've hired a photographer to take pictures of us together, but the photographer is crazy and keeps throwing orange paint on us. The next day at school, this girl and I are both wearing motorcycle helmets and she keeps trying to talk to me, but I can't understand what she's saying.

1) I try out for some kind of high school band competition, even though I haven't picked up my horn in years. There are all kinds of people from my high school there that I haven't seen in forever. We have auditions, and Mr. Woodard is in charge (and he has a pony tail). I have no hope of making it, so I don't even go to my audition. I just want to hang out with everyone for a while. After they announce who made it into the band, I'm walking around, and I see a bunch of guys from work working on a big valve beneath the school. They're trying to get some big leak to stop, and I'm hoping they don't ask me for help. I stick around anyway, and end up tracing all these lines for them.

2) I'm at some big college somewhere, and Garah is my roommate. When she gets to our room, she's really upset, and I try to console her, but she doesn't want to talk. Some other girl comes in and they start talking, so I leave. I end up walking around with some anthropology class, and we find all these old skeletons. Some have weird shaped skulls and we decide that they must have been cannibals.

1) Cate Blanchett and I are driving through the desert, and she keeps playing all these old Bob Dylan songs. Knox, an old fraternity brother of mine, is in the back seat singing along very badly. Cate and Knox have this big discussion about the depth of Dylan's music and I'm totally lost. I start to get frustrated, party because of the conversation, but also because I'm not sure where we're going. I decide to just keep driving, and hopefully Cate will know when I'm supposed to turn. We pull into an old gas station, but there aren't any gas pumps. Knox starts freaking out because we don't have much gas left and we have a long way to go.

2) Jay comes to visit, and we're trying to decide what to do. I'm not sure if he wants to chill out or go party with my friends in SLC. We go down to SLC and he starts hitting on Kate, but she's not interested. Jay gets upset, so I try to get him extra drunk. He passes out, so Ryan and I take him out and lay him in the back of my truck. It's cold, so I put lots of blankets on him. We go back inside, and Kate is telling us how she's decided she's going to go to beauty school and move far away from SLC.

1) I'm working out at the gym, and I'm talking to MSgt Chavez. He says he's done working out, and he grabs his hat and leaves. I look down, but I can't find my hat, which is a red baseball cap. I look all over, picking up everyone else's hats and checking for my name. I start wondering if I need a hat to go outside when I'm in PT gear.

2) I'm going to my Grandparents' house in Evansville, and instead of riding a motorcycle, I'm riding on this weird thing that looks like a big highchair with wheels. It goes really fast, and I have a helmet on, so it's like riding a motorcycle, but it looks really ridiculous. I turn onto a smaller street and there's a big hill, so I get off my machine and pick it up and walk it over the hill. There are other people who have to get out of their cars and push them.

3) I'm on a big road trip in a really fancy car. I keep looking down at my iPod to see what's playing because I can't recognise the song. I'm following Ryan in his big truck down the freeway, but I have to stop and get gas. I flash my lights to tell him to pull over, but he just keeps going. I pull into a gas station, and there are all these hot, white-trash girls sitting outside. I sit in my car for a few minutes, and find another iPod underneath the seat. It's blue and newer than mine, and I'm wondering where it came from. I leave the gas station and drive for a while. Then I pull into a big hospital and walk inside. There are two doctors there who are just getting off, so I walk out with them. They start jogging, and I pull out my iPod and pretend it's an iPhone so I'll look cool. I start jogging, too, but my feet won't move very fast and I can't keep up with them.

1) I'm at work and it's Halloween because a lot of people are wearing costumes. I didn't wear one, and I'm starting to think I should have. We're having a party with the squadron next to ours, and everyone in their squadron is dressed up in really elaborate costumes. I start walking around and end up in a hotel room with four other people, none of whom I know. We all fall asleep and wake up the next morning wondering where we're supposed to go. One of the girls gets in the shower, and I walk out into the hallway. Nobody is around, and I'm wondering if I should take a shower, too.

1) I'm riding the train in Tokyo trying to get to the mall by Tokyo Disney because it has a really cool Diesel store. I get off at one stop and I'm walking around and drop my wallet. By the time I notice, I turn around and see some guy pick it up. I start chasing him and yelling at him to stop. This construction worker throws his hard hat at the guy and knocks him out. I grab my wallet and all these other people start accusing me of stealing, so I have to prove it's mine by listing all the contents and reciting my personal information. Nobody believes me, so I open up the wallet and show them my ID which obviously has my picture and not the Japanese guy that took my wallet.

1) I get to Italy, and a bunch of friends from college pick me up. For some reason, they're all celebrating some eastern religious holiday with a bunch of Japanese people. They tell me it's the one day of the year they can do whatever they want and not have to worry about guilt or death or any kind of consequences. We go skydiving over a big lake, and my parachute doesn't open. I hit the water and go really deep. I start coming up and it takes a really long time. I wonder if I'm gonna make it to the surface before I drown, but I can feel my lungs expanding, and I keep exhaling. I finally get to the top and everyone's laughing. We go to the side of the lake and all the Japanese people are drinking beer.

1) I'm deployed and living in a cabin with some old friends from high school and some other friends from Japan. There's a guy there who's showing us around and telling us all the rules. Valerie is there, and we keep hugging because we haven't seen each other in forever. That night, there's a big concert at the theatre, and I'm trying to get everyone to go. The only person that commits is David and maybe Brad. I'm driving a baby blue Volkswagon Beetle, and we have to take a ferry to get there. I also try to get Sheryl Crow to come, but she won't. We get there and sit down, and they start showing some stupid animated film and people start throwing their popcorn at the screen. Most people get up to leave, but we sit for a while. We finally get up to leave, and we can't figure out how to get back on the ferry. So I decide I'll just leave my car there for the rest of the week and come back to get it later. I park it in a parking spot, but when I'm pulling in, I run into a fire hydrant, and it knocks the fender off.

1) I'm TDY, and there are a whole bunch of us staying in a really crappy motel. I don't have to get up early, but everyone else does, and when I get out of bed, there's a girl walking around my room. She's really nervous because it's the day she's supposed to find out if she made rank. I tell her not to worry, and I'm sure she'll be fine. I leave and meet a bunch of people at a big mall. We're waiting to eat, and the Cardigans walk in. I start walking around with the Cardigans and Nina is telling really funny jokes. They leave, and I go back to my motel. When I get to my room, there's this strange hispanic guy asking me to spank him.

1) I'm trying out to be on a reality television show about people who want to be models. All the contestants are in a big room and I'm trying to size up my competition. Everyone else is really hot and I don't think I'm going to get far. There are four or five ladies who used to be models trying to get us organised. Our first assignment is to write down what we think it takes to be a model and why we want to be one. I'm writing on this huge piece of red poster board, and the only writing utensil I can find is a red pen. I start writing but it doesn't show up very well. I'm not sure how long we have, and I'm trying to write fast. Other people start finishing, and I'm looking around to see if I can find another pen to use. I see John Goodman there, and he tells us we have until 2:30 AM, so I relax a little.

1) I'm in Misawa in my car in a parking lot, and Kathy May is standing outside the passenger side windown talking to me. I look over the mountains and see a huge tidal wave of lava coming at us. Suddenly, it's flowing over us and the car is being tossed around, but not burning up. I'm worried that Kathy got swept away, but I look in the back seat and see that she jumped in just in time. Then I'm worried that we'll be burried beneath a bunch of rubble and never found.

1) It's lunch time at work, and I leave the shop, get on a bike, and ride over to the hospital to have lunch with people in the med group. I get there and they're having some sort of luncheon, so I just act like I belong there and start eating their food. Nobody seems to mind. I'm making conversation with a few people about various things, but anytime they start talking about hospital stuff, I steer the conversation somewhere else or go talk to another group. I have a box of food I've collected that I'm going to take back to my shop, but I'm wondering how easy it will be to carry on my bike. I look at my watch and realise I need to be leaving. Suddenly, a bunch of water comes flooding through the hospital. It's only about a foot deep, but it's strong enough to knock some people down. Everybody runs for the exit. Nobody knows where it's coming from. I'm outside talking to people, and I have to go back to my shop, but I left my box of food inside and they won't let me go get it.

1) I'm deployed, but I'm in some kind of tropical area instead of the desert. There are these small lakes all over the place with huge metal structures in them, and these big beams swinging back and forth all the time. The commander has imposed all these ridiculous rules about when we have to do our laundry and getting our pictures taken. I'm sitting with a small group of people in the rec center waiting for our pictures to get taken, and we decide to play cards for a while. One girl there is really picky about where she sits and how the cards are dealt. Hillary Clinton comes in and sits down next to us and starts playing solitaire. I go into the bathroom to check my hair for the picture, then up to the dorm where all these guys are gathering people's bed linens. I see a Cody and MSgt Dawdy, who's already retired but visiting in civilian clothes, and say hi, but they just look at me funny so I leave. I walk outside and Nick and Neil are setting up a sleeping area on this overlook. I want to sleep out there, too, but it looks kinda dangerous.

1) I'm in a loft with the cast of Friends. We're staying there over a weekend and we're all having fun and cracking jokes. I leave and I'm walking across a big parking lot. I go inside another building, and there's a big dining room with a long table down the middle. An old Chinese man is sitting at the front and he's yelling at everyone else in the room. I'm trying not to be seen. Then the Chinese man goes crazy and starts karate chopping everyone and killing them. He's floating over the table and using his sword and there's blood everywhere. I grab one of the guys and we run out of the room. He's wearing all white and he's totally soaked. We go back into the building through another door, and somehow end up in my Church back in Morganfield. I'm pulling this guy through the hallway, and we pass by the choir rehearsal room and all the old people in there are saying, "Hey, look! It's Curt!" I just want to get the other guy to safety. I tell him to hide in the bathroom, and I'm going to see if I can find my parents and get help.

2) I'm going to a spiritual retreat for a week with a bunch of Air Force people. We fly on this huge double-decker plane and the front is completely glass. Nick and I are sitting in the front seat and when we take off, it feels like we're going to go upside down. We get to the camp and everyone's getting settled. It's getting dark, and suddenly this huge wildcat with purple glowing eyes starts running through the camp and eating people. It leaves, and I just want to take a shower. I go to the shower cabin and there are a bunch of people in there. Stephanie is getting into the shower as I'm getting out, but nobody seems to care. I see Afia Malone, who I knew back in Vegas. I start talking to her, but she seems really down. Someone opens up their bag and a big glowing purple rock falls out. Everyone that looks at it disintegrates. Afia calls 911, but the guy on the other line is clueless and Afia says it's because he's white. We leave the shower cabin and I ask Afia how she's been. She says her Mom hasn't been well at all. I'm walking back to my cabin and I hear a bunch of people screaming on the other side of the camp. There's another giant wildcat with the purple glowing eyes eating people. I start running for my cabin and out of the corner of my eye, I see another giant wildcat really close to me. I wonder if I should try to get on top of the cabin and if the wildcat will be able to see me up there.

1) I'm going through some readiness training out in the middle of the woods. I've got all my gear on, and it's hot and uncomfortable. I'm walking down this path, and I see some readiness people talking. They're laughing and joking, and they tell me I need to take cover. I ask why, and they just laugh. Then a huge bomb goes off and I hit the ground. The readiness people start laughing. After that, we're in a classroom, still in our gear, and I think we're about done for the day. Then the instructor tells us we have another twelve blocks of time. I stand up and start yelling about how none of the readiness people are taking anything seriously and not putting on their gear when they're supposed to or taking cover when bombs hit. He just blows me off, and I tell him I'm gonna fill out a horrible critique.

2) I'm home for Christmas, and my parents and I are driving to my grandparents house on Christmas Eve evening. We get there, and Mom and I are messing around in the car and Dad goes inside. When Mom and I finally go inside, there isn't anyone around. We start calling for everyone, but nobody answers. I'm thinking there's gonna be a big surprise, like my Mom's family is gonna be in from out of town, and they're gonna jump out and surprise us. But nobody does, and we keep walking back in the house. We eventually get to my grandparents bedroom, and I see my cousin Keri lying on the floor, and my Grandma is sitting in a chair next to her. Keri sits up and stares at us, and Grandma starts mumbling something incoherent.

1) I'm staying in this cabin out in the woods and it's really creepy. There are two cannibals roaming the forest, and I'm trying to lay low so they won't see me. Every time I look out the window, I see them walking around and they look like two guys I went to college with. I run outside and jump in a pickup truck, and they start chasing after me. We run around the truck, and I somehow trick them into getting in front of it so I can run them over. They get out of the way just in time, but I'm speeding down the road and they're chasing after me. I see a girl walking down the road and I pick her up. The cannibals are still chasing after us, and the girl tells me she needs to be dropped off at her father's house. I don't want to stop because the cannibals will catch us. We turn around and run over the cannibals right in front of the girl's father's house. The father runs out and I think he's going to yell at me, but he's grateful because he's been trying to kill the cannibals for months now.

2) I'm on vacation with my family and my Mom's sisters and Garah's family. We're all staying in this giant suite. I go shopping one day and find these really great lime green shoes. They're really weird and I don't have anything to wear them with, but I buy them anyway. I show them to my Mom and she says she likes them, but I don't really think she does. Garah has made brownies and they're sitting on the counter. I want to eat one, but I don't want to get caught.

1) I'm back in Morganfield and it's really late at night, but I go next door to Garah's house because she's having a big pool party. The music is kinda loud, and when I go up to hug Garah, she starts singing along with some other girl to the whole song, and I have to wait until it's over. Jon asks me to go grab him a beer, so I walk to the other side of the pool where all the coolers are. When I get there, Garah and Jon are both already there and grabbing beers for themselves. Garah goes to the top of a big tower to adjust the volume of the music, and she turns it up really loud. I'm wondering when someone will call the cops because of all the noise.

1) I'm on base and I've been picked to help foil some big plot to blow up a building. I have to infiltrate the bad guy's lair and make friends with them, and then relay all the information back to the base commander. The bad guys have this huge, red bomb and they somehow get it inside one of the main buildings on base. There's a big party going on that day, and I keep telling the commander to cancel the party, but she doesn't want to send everyone into a panic. So I'm running back and forth between the party and the room with the bomb trying to find out from the bad guys how to deactivate it. The bomb doesn't go off, but it's not because of anything I did. The bad guys just didn't know how to work it. I go back upstairs and the commander had a medal for me. I want to tell her I didn't really do anything, but there are lots of people watching.

1) I'm in the fifth grade, and I'm hanging out at my friend Justin's house. He's got a lot of extra brothers and sisters...like, eleven or something, one of whom is Justin Timberlake. I'm playing with them all, and we're being really rowdy and throwing football in the house and running around and stuff. A bunch of them go into another room, and I'm walking around the big living room with the television, and I overhear his Dad telling Ronnie, the oldest brother, that they're going to get a divorce. They both look at me and I feel really awkward. His Dad asks me to get all the other kids rounded up in the living room, so I go into the room where they are and tell them to go in there so we can throw the ball some more. I start tossing the football with Justin, and I end up breaking a vase, but it's not expensive or anything and nobody cares.

1) Tom Cruise and some hot girl and I are trying to break in to a big skyscraper and we're haning on cables from the roof. We're swinging all over and trying to find a weak spot in the structure. We get to the ground, and we're walking around trying not to be seen by the workers in the building. We get inside, but as soon as we do, a guy sees us and pulls the alarm. We start running, and the girl gets away, but Tom and I get captured. The building is the headquarters for some religious cult that practices mind-control. They put this weird thing around Tom's neck and I never see him again. They keep trying to get me to put one around my neck, too, but I refuse. Everybody is being really nice to me, but I know it's just becaus they want me to join their cult. They interrogate me and finally, let me go home with some people who live in the town. I walk into their apartment, and they tell me I can make one phone call. I call my Grandfather, and he's kinda disoriented because he can't understand why I'm calling. I tell him he just needs to come and pick me up. He's driving around and can't understand where I'm talking about, so I call my Grandmother and she starts talking to me about how she doesn't like the small buttons on her new phone.

2) I'm at some kind of camp with Garah, and we're walking around and checking out different activities. There's one activity based on "Saved By The Bell" where Jessie Spano wants to get breast-augmentation surgery. Garah says it's ridiculous, but secretly, I want to see what happens. We keep walking and find out we have to march in some demonstration, and everyone's meeting at a park. I have to go to the bathroom, and when I walk in, I see this guy making out with some teenage girl. I walk outside to see if I can find her parents. I see some people from work, and they tell me about how one week in the summer, they close off this whole area and it becomes a nudist colony.

1) I'm in college and i go to a party with a bunch of hipsters. They're all talking about these bands I've never heard of and watching these strange artsy films on television. Jude Law is there, and a few minutes later, Ewan McGregor shows up. They seem like cool guys, but I don't get to talk to them much. There's also a handicapped girl who has braces on her feet and legs, and every time she walks by, I get really far out of her way because I'm not sure how much room she needs. I feel awkward because I don't want to make her feel like an inconvenience. Someone puts some music on, and I'm thinking it's by some obscure band, and someone else says it's Shiny Toy Guns, but I disagree, and everyone looks at me funny. I look up and both Jude and Ewan are gone, and I'm mad I didn't get my picture with the before they left.

2) I'm on vacation with my parents at some kind of resort. We're walking to a restaurant for dinner, and we all just have shorts on. Near the restaurant, there's some kind of club that's having a jitterbug contest, and my parents want to enter. But first, they want to go back to our hotel room and change into nicer clothes. They walk back, and I look at a clock and wonder if they're going to have time to make it back before the contest starts. I hop in a big huge pickup truck, and start driving it toward the hotel. It's a really big truck, and there's not a lot of room to get around, and I'm worried I'll run over something or someone. I get to the hotel, and I start looking around for my parents. I start having flashbacks to when I'm a teenager and I wreck the car, but my brother is also in trouble for some reason, which takes the heat off me.

1) I go down to Dallas to visit Abby. She picke me up at the airport and takes me to her house, which is different than before and huge. Her family is there, and I awkwardly ask if it's okay if my parents come and stay for a few days. They say it's fine and I go and pick my parents up at the airport. We drive around Dallas for a while, and then go back to Abby's. It's late at night and I'm talking to my parents but trying not to make a lot of noise. The next day, I have to get back to the airport, and I also have to take MSgt Frey with me, and I really can't stand him. All I have is a little mini-truck to take all our luggage, and I'm relieved when I find out he's going to be riding his bike. I wonder how long it's going to take him to get there, and if he'll even be able to ride his bike on the interstate. As I'm driving to the airport, I stop at Dairy Queen because I want some ice cream. They put tons of strawberries in my ice cream, and it's really good.

1) It's Halloween, and I'm visiting some friends who are staying at a really big house in New Orleans, I think. The house is old and kinda creepy, but very cool. We go out walking around the town, and there are lots of other people walking around, too. Some little girl runs up to me and asks me to change her diaper, but I don't know how to, so I'm asking my friends how to do it. Somehow, it gets done and the little girl runs off. I walk down by a bunch of old cars, and some crazy guys come up and start setting them on fire. I don't know whose cars they are, so I walk away. I end up back at the house and all the furniture is flying around and there's a big, blue snake everyone's afraid of. The girl that owns the house comes in and tries to get the snake to calm down, and it bites her, but she doesn't seem to care.

1) I get a new jeep and I drive it onto base to the gym, which is now combined with the library. These two girls have just gotten out of the shower. They have their clothes on, but they're both still dripping wet and walking around the library getting water on all the books. When I leave, I notice the driver's-side door is almost off the hinges, and there's a bullet hole in the side near the gas tank. Some guy is with me, and he tells me I shouldn't be taking my dog everywhere because that makes people mad.

1) I'm in a hotel room with a really hot girl (my wife?), and we're looking out the window watching the sunset behind the mountains. The clouds make the mountain look like a volcano. We look over at the next mountain and it really is a volcano erupting, and two big planes come out of it. I tell the girl they're Transformers, but she doesn't believe me. We walk into the parking lot, and Optimus Prime rolls by and transforms and runs away. We start to panic and pack all our bags. I'm trying to pack really practical things, but she's worried about returning DVDs we rented on time. We run out of the hotel and go into a big office building which turns out to be a hologram and the walls are made of ammonia. We get separated and I follow this big, muscle guy to the gym. We run on a treadmill for a while, then go to his apartment, which we have to climb a ladder to get to and doesn't have a roof. There's another really hot girl there sunbathing, and we sit up there for a while. Tons of people are camped out all over waiting to see when the Transformers are going to attack, and every time we feel an earthquake, people start screaming and running. We climb down from his apartment, and I'm trying to find a good spot to hide out, deciding that I need to get out of the city. I run short sprints, tuck and roll, and take cover behind small hills. I'm slowly making my way out, but I don't think I'm gonna make it out of the city before they attack.

1) I'm on a big road trip across the country. I stop and get gas somewhere in the south, and the lady working the register is really nice and has a thick accent. I pull out my wallet and can't find my credit card. I assume I left it at the last place I got gas, which was 300 miles earlier. As I'm standing at the counter wondering what to do, David Wilhelm walks up next to me. I start laughing and give him a big hug, but he acts like it's no big deal and shrugs. I somehow get to where I'm going and I'm looking at a bunch of really big, old houses with Jim Greenleaf and another guy. We're thinking about buying one and fixing it up. This real estate guy comes up and tells us what we can and can't do because it's a historic district. Then he tells us McDonalds already owns a parcel of land right next to one of the houses, and they're gonna put a big restaurant there.

1) I get a second job at Macaroni Grill. It's my first day there, and I'm really nervous. Floyd is working there, too, and I'm hoping he'll show me the ropes. I'm walking around barefoot, and the manager tells me I have to wear shoes. I don't have any socks, so I put plastic bags on my feet before putting my shoes on. We're having a little waiter's meeting before the restaurant opens, and then everyone goes outside. I get there, and they're all in a garden picking strawberries. I start crawling through the garden looking for strawberries, and I'm thinking I should have brought other clothes so these don't get dirty. I get to the end of the garden, and there's a big mall with a Banana Republic inside. I walk in the door and think about quitting the Macaroni Grill because I'd rather work (and shop) at Banana Republic all day. And I might not even have to wear shoes.

2) I'm at the house in Morganfield, and Big Kyle and Lil Ryan are visiting with me. My family is running around all crazy and trying to get ready for Church, but the three of us are just sitting around watching television. I go back to my room (which looks like my room in my apartment), and Ryan follows me back asking if I have any Crown Royal. I have some, but I haven't opened the bottle yet. I tell him I'll look to see if my parents have any in their liquor cabinet. I go into the kitchen, and John Mumme is there carving a big turkey. I'm trying to get around him so I can check the liquor cabinet and I don't want to disturb him and make him cut himself. I sneak around him, and check the liquor cabinet, but there's no Crown Royal. I tell Ryan he's out of luck. I go back to my room and get ready to take a shower. I'm standing there in my underwear, and Kyle comes in. I put my t-shirt back on, and he keeps asking me where my alcohol is.

1) I'm living back at the house in Morganfield, and MItt Romney is coming over to stay with us for a while. My parents are very excited, and they try to get me to build a big lamp to celebrate. I'm putting together this big glass lamp, and it has one big light on top with several smaller lights inside. People keep asking me how it's coming along, and all it does is frustrate me. Mitt arrives, and the lamp still isn't done. The Gamblins come over and my Mom has just gotten out of the shower and she's cooking dinner, too. Dad is angry with me because the lamp isn't finished. I finally get to where I think I'm done, and I plug the lamp in, but it keeps flickering on and off. I'm so angry and MItt is standing right behind me.

2) I'm in a big city with Nick Fuoss, and we decide to go to a free community breakfast. We're going through the line talking, and all he gets on his plate is a bunch of sausage and bacon. I ask for french toast. As we're walking around trying to find a seat, I see Jim Sullivan and I start talking with him. I don't see Nicole anywhere, and I'm just about to ask Jim where she is, and he turns around and sits down with some people I don't know. Nick sits at a table that's already full, so I go and sit at a table with only one other girl. She's dressed completely in black and her hair is all messy. I ask if it's okay if I sit there, and she's very nice. Another girl comes and sits next to me. We have a nice conversation about society and the different types of people that come to free meals like this one.

1) I'm dating a girl who lives above a garage behind an old lady's house. It's not a great building, but the apartment is nice. One day, we're making dinner and a couple guys in pickup trucks start driving through the trailer park next door. They start ramming into trailers and trying to kill people. They end up killing a little baby. They stop their trucks and start walking around. I walk down and grab a big piece of wood. I yell at them to go away and start hitting them with the log. I hit their trucks and break out one of the windshields. They drive away, and I go over to see how the lady with the baby is.

2) I'm in the middle of a military exercise. We're all in our gear in the middle of the play area, and a big storm comes in. The rain is coming down and the wind is really strong. It picks me up and throws me into the side of a building. I get up and everyone is running around. I take my gear off, and run for shelter. The storm stops and the Chief tells us to go home. My gear is laying in the mud, but they tell us to leave it there because there are mudslides. I jump into a truck with Abe Garcia, and he has to drive through this really narrow passageway. He gets to the end and there are a bunch of chlorine cylinders there and he can't get around them. MSgt Frey is there, and Abe starts yelling at Frey to get the chlorine out of the way. I get out of the truck and tell Frey that the chlorine isn't authorized to be in this building and the whole system isn't set up right anyway. Frey gets really flustered and he keeps waving his arms around and stuttering.

1) I'm deployed to a third world country in the mid-east, and some of us are walking around outside the wire. They have some strange custom where every man has to keep his hands over his crotch when in public, so all of us are walking around holding our junk. We're walking through a little village made of tents, and whenever we pass a female, they giggle and stare. We stop inside a tent and start talking. I pull out some bourbon from my backpack, but we don't have any glasses. I go back to base to see if I can grab some from the gate guards. There are a bunch of readiness people guarding the gate, and they make me give them my alcohol, but luckily, I have some extra stashed that they don't see.

2) I'm at a party with a bunch of people from college, and all three girls I dated in college are there. I'm feeling kinda awkward, but I talk to all three of them and they're really cool. One of my music professors is there, too, and I have to give a big introduction before his speech. I'm nervous and worried if I'm going to get all the details of his life right, but I do. I want to get a picture with all my ex-girlfriends, and I start talking to Anna (girlfriend number two), and she wants to kiss me again, even though her husband (and one of my good friends from college) is sitting right next to her. I do anyway, and it's not weird or anything. After dinner, there's a big fashion show, and all these models are walking down the runway in really crazy, futuristic outfits made of metal. One of them comes down and pulls me up on stage and pretends to shoot me with her ray gun, so I play dead and fall on the floor. While I'm laying there, I overhear some guy talking about how he works in the porn industry, and I'm trying to listen without being obvious.

1) I'm visiting Garah, and we're out drinking with a couple of her friends from medical school one night. We want to go home and the guy who's driving is really drunk, but we don't care and get in anyway. He starts driving really erratically, and even clips a couple other cars, but we just keep going. We get pulled over by a cop, and the driver guy gets arrested. Garah and I somehow end up back at her house. We wake up the next morning, and she gives me a tour of her new house that she just bought. It's really amazing and it's on the coast of one of some Greek island. It's kinda messy, and she apologises for her kids leaving toys all over the place. Jon is out of town on business, and she's not sure when he's supposed to get home. The cleaning lady arrives, and I tell Garah I need to leave because I have to work the next day.

2) I'm visiting home and I'm supposed to be playing piano for the Church service. I'm sitting at the bench, and I see my Mom is playing the organ. It's time for the first hymn ("Worthy of Worship"), and when I open up the hymnal, the page for that hymn has been ripped out. I start looking around for another hymnal, but the only one in the piano bench is outdated and doesn't have that hymn. Meanwhile, Mom has started playing and everyone is singing and starting at me wondering why I'm not playing. I look around and see Jeremiah Case sitting in the pew closest to me. I get his attention, and I"m trying to whisper to him to hand me a hymnal out of the pew, but he doesn't understand what I'm saying. Finally, he hands me a hymnal and I open up to the right page. The notes are different from how I remember playing them when I was younger, but I give it a try anyway. I'm only playing a few notes from each measure, but it sounds good enough, and I'm just hoping it's over soon.

1) I'm going to Mormon church with someone, and the service is held in a classroom and it's very informal. I have two bottles of water that were given to me by Reese with me, and right before the service starts, my phone rings. It's Reese, and she wants to know if I got the water she sent. I assure her I did, but I have to go because the service is starting. When I get off the phone, I find the bishop has taken my bottles of water and is trying to give them away. He looks at me, and I guess I'm sweating heavily because he says I look like I need some water. After the service, I'm walking around outside, and everyone is talking and getting into their cars and stuff. A little boy starts talking to me about how Salt Lake City is laid out and the different townships and stuff. His Mom comes along, and she looks exactly like Garah. She's got a little dress and sunglasses on, and I can't stop staring at her. She's talking about her husband, Trent, and then she takes off her sunglasses, and I realise she's Asian. Everyone drives away, and I'm standing by the street wondering if the person who brought me will take me home.

1) My Dad and I are in this old abandoned building, and we find all these old papers having to do with the World Trade Center. We start looking through them and think we might have solved some mysteries having to do with 9/11. It starts to get really late, and there are a few other people wandering around the building, so we hide all our research and decide to go home for the evening. I get on a motorcycle and ride it through the building and down the stairs. I'm riding outside when I see some people I know. I stop to talk to them. There's an overpass above us, and we see a car wreck on the overpass, and there are two people in a red Mustang, and the Mustang falls off the overpass. The people inside get thrown out and everyone rushes over. I call 911 and start yelling at everyone not to move anyone, just to see if they're breathing. Jerrilynn Bender is there in a minivan, and she tells me to get in so we can go home.

2) I'm at home talking with Garah, and she's telling me about being a doctor and showing me her cell phone. I decide to quit the military and go back to school so I can be a doctor, too. I'm walking around the hospital with Garah, and we go into this cancer research room and it's really cold. There are a bunch of ladies in there gossiping.

1) I'm in France with a big group of people, but we get separated and I'm trying to get around. I find myself in the middle of the country, and I've been to the airport, so I'm trying to find a taxi to get me back to our hotel. I see Jack and Meg White get out of a taxi and they speak French, so I'm asking them how to ask the cab driver to get back to the hotel, but they just tell me how to get back to the airport. I end upriding around with my Aunt Karen and her family. She tells me she wants to have another baby. I somehow end up in Paris, and I'm walking around the city, looking for different delis and boutiques. Some strange man is following me. I see my parents walking down the street, and ask why they didn't tell me they were in town. I find out that I'm in the middle of some weird art-house film, and they guy following me is supposed to represent something out of my past. I try to catch a bus, but they won't let me on the bus because it's only for handicapped people on horseback. I start riding around on a scooter, and chasing the guy who was following me. A big parade comes over the hill, and the guy gets set on fire. I find a computer and look up the movie I'm in on Wikipedia so I can find out what it's all supposed to mean, but the Wikipedia page is really long and I'm too lazy to read it all.

1) I'm back in Japan (?) and Chaplain Tims is going to start another worship service at Church at he wants me to play the piano for it. He gives me a big list of songs, but I don't really have anywhere to practice them. Leigh tells me I can go upstairs at the library and practice. I grab all the song books and head upstairs, seeing my Mom along the way. I have to pass by this really hot girl who hosts a trivia radio show. I make small talk with her before ascending the staircase. She says she's getting ready to leave, but to make sure everything is locked up before I go.

2) I'm back in college, and I'm hanging out with a bunch of people, most of whom are sorority girls. We're watching a pro basketball game, and everyone is debating on who will win. One of them has a video camera and has taken a lot of footage of everyone in the group. We're watching it and trying to decide which part is the most embarrassing. Most of the footage of me consists of me singing or lip syncing to really bad songs. One of the guys in the group pulls me aside and asks if I've heard any rumours about him and a girl from the group having sex, and if I have, I need to say they aren't true.

1) I'm standing on top of a submarine but it's getting ready to launch, and I jump onto the dock just before it submerges. I walk into the town and I see this really hot black girl, so I start talking to her. She's got diabetes and she keeps giving herself insulin shots in her fingernails. I ask if I can borrow one of the shots, because my truck is making a funny noise and I think the insulin will stop it. I take the syringe and look for a good place to inject it into my truck. I end up putting it in the area right between the windshield and the passenger-side door. I walk the girl back to her apartment, which is right below mine. We start talking about gas stations. I go up to my apartment and I'm fumbling for my keys because I think I'm being followed and I'm really nervous. I finally get inside my apartment and there are two people sleeping on the floor. I'm not sure if I should wake them or not.

1) I'm at work, and we get attacked by the Decepticons. We're all running all over the place and hiding in closets and stuff. I get abducted by some scientists and they make me eat this pill that turns me into a Transformer. I'm back to running around with everyone else again, but I don't want anyone else to know I can transform. I'm waiting to find something really good to transform into so I can kill all the Decepticons.

2) I'm in Japan, and I get pulled over by some cops, but they're American. I go back to the station with them. They ask if I can get coffee for them, so I call McDonalds and ask if they can have three coffees ready for me when I get there. They tell me the coffee will be ready at McDonalds #4, so I have to look on a map to see where that is. It ends up being right across from the police station, so I decide to walk. I get there, and the Japanese lady tells me it will be 6,000 yen, so I ask if it's any cheaper without cream. She says it will be 2,000 yen, so I give her the money, and go back to the police station.

1) I'm swimming across the Ohio River between the bridges near my house. I'm almost to the other side, and I catch up with another guy who's also swimming. He sees me catching up to him and tries to swim faster, so I swim faster and beat him to the other side. When I get to the bank, I walk up and see a couple EOD guys from my squadron getting ready to go cliff jumping. I say hi to them and keep walking. I get back to where my phone is, and I have a voicemail from one of the EOD guys inviting me to a party that night. I go back down and start talking to them. I start talking to them about EOD stuff, and I'm starting to think I sound like an idiot. They get an emergency call, and start packing up all their stuff to leave. I tell them not to tease me, or I won't come to their party.