1) I'm sitting in my shop, and this guy comes up behind me and gives me a piece of paper. It's a set of orders and written in blue ink on the front is "Robins Air Force Base, Georgia." I turn around and look at him, and he smiles, and I scream, "Noooooo!"

1) I'm living in a basement apartment in a big city. I have to get up really early every morning for work, and Jeni-Bomb always comes by so we can have breakfast together. One morning, she says she's going to bring Ben along, too. Before they get there, I decide I'm too hungry to wait, and I cook up some kind of vegetable concoction on my stove, but I don't want them to think I've eaten before they arrive, so I put in in tupperware and put it in the refrigerator. I go outside, and it's barely light enough to see, and I think there's a strange man watching me, and I get creeped out and go back inside to wait for Jeni and Ben.

1) I'm in my truck driving back to work after lunch, and I see some people having a party in a garage. They're dancing around and trying to get people to honk, so I do. I stop my truck just to say hi and see why they are partying. I start talking to them and I go inside the garage for a minute. The next thing I know, it's nighttime and I'm back inside my truck. I'm kinda freaking out and I'm not feeling well. I start to back up and drive the rest of the way to work, but a cop pulls up behind me. The cop is Janeane Garofalo and she starts asking me all kinds of questions about where I've been. I can't remember anything, and I think I've been drugged or something. I'm trying to explain everything, but she won't listen. She makes me get in the back of her patrol car, and she drops me off at the house in Morganfield. I'm worried about what work is going to do, because I've probably been AWOL.

2) I'm in Army basic training with a bunch of other guys. We're all brand new and in formation inside a big room. The training instructors are all walking around and yelling at us, and I'm just trying to fit in and do what everyone else is doing. They start going down the rows asking us questions one by one. We're supposed to answer with something specific, but since everyone is screaming, I don't know what we're supposed to say. Eventually, I'm the last one left, and there's a female instructor asking me these questions. I just look straight ahead and don't say anything. She asks if I know what I'm supposed to say, and I tell her no. She smiles and tells me she's going to give me some remedial training.

1) I'm in Morganfield and we've all just been told there's going to be a nuclear war. Everyone is panicking, but I'm not sure how to take it. There are tons of planes in the air. Everyone in town is walking toward the park, but I don't recall any bunkers there. I'm trying to make jokes about the situation, because there really isn't much else we can do. We get to some kind of camp and I'm going to take a shower. I'm a little embarrassed because my shower doesn't have a door on it, so everyone walking by is watching me. I go back outside and meet all kinds of new people. We later find out we're on a television show that concentrates on seven people and everyone watching the show is supposed to say which characted handled the situation best. I'm wondering if I was one of the seven characters and if I handled the situation well.

1) For some reason, I'm staying with this family I don't know. The parents are really nice, and they have two daughters who like to get into trouble. One morning, I'm in the bathroom putting on my uniform, and the older daughter walks in and starts talking to me. It's making me uncomfortable because I'm half-naked, but she doesn't seem to care. Both daughters and I go to the store to pick up some groceries. On the way home, we stop in this big field to talk to their boyfriends. There's a big marsh in the middle of the field and these strange plants are growing there. On the plants are these big brown and yellow bugs that keep pooping all over the place. We go back to their house, and the parents are talking and the older daughter is paranoid because she's pregnant and doesn't want her parents to find out. Suddenly, everyone breaks into song and it's like a big broadway musical and we're all on stage singing and dancing around. I'm just trying to get off the stage because I don't know any of the songs or dance numbers.

1) I'm visiting Don and Jessi, who have a new baby. I go to church with them, and I think it's Easter Sunday, but there aren't a lot of people there because it's a really small church. Kasey is there, and we're both playing with the baby. After church, Kasey asks if I want any of the furniture because they're trying to get rid of some of it. There's a bunch of really cool stuff like chaise lounges and love seats. I want a few pieces, so I try to make room in my truck. Kasey picks up this huge sofa and hauls it all the way to my truck, and somehow, it fits.

1) I'm TDY and Mom and my brother are with me. Every morning we drive to work and I have to change into my uniform in a locker room. I leave my backpack in the locker room without locking it up, but Mom tells me to start taking my iPod out and bringing it with me to work. We walk all over the base but I'm not really sure what our job is. It's always overcast and rainy. Toward the end of our trip, we go to this big cookout, but there aren't a lot of people there.

1) I'm working some weird job where all I have to do is wash trucks and equipment all day. I'm at one place where I'm washing a big machine, and Garah is running it. I don't know what it does, and she tries to explain it to me, but it doesn't make any sense. We start talking about stuff we did when we were kids. I go back to the main factory, and some kind of wild animal has gotten loose inside, and everyone is scared. I go into the break room, and a bunch of my friends from japan are in there. They tell me that Aleric is going to come over, so I decide to wait around so I can talk to him. But when he gets there, he acts like he doesn't know who I am.

1) I'm a roadie for Sleater-Kinney, and we're setting up for a show in a hotel room. There are all kinds of boxes everywhere, and I'm not sure what goes where, so I'm asking a lot of questions. Carrie has shaved her head, and she's asking me to help out with the sound check, but one of the roadies asked me to put up a bunch of Christmas decorations. Carrie says the sound check is more important than the decorations and they're behind schedule and, plus, she's the boss. I go to tell the other guy I'm gonna help Carrie with the sound check.

1) I'm back at the house in Morganfield. I'm taking a shower one morning, and when I get out, there are a lot of people in my bathroom just staring at me. I have a towel around my waist, and I'm trying to put my underwear on without dropping my towel. Jean-Marie is laughing at me. I leave my bathroom and go into my bedroom, and now everyone is in there. I'm fixing my hair and stuff, and they're all having a good time and laughing. I go into the kitchen to make some oatmeal, but my Mom is using the microwave. Somehow some oil has gotten into my oatmeal, and I'm trying to spoon it out. I'm getting impatient with my Mom because I really need to cook my oatmeal. Plus, I want to go talk to everyone in my bedroom.

1) I'm a little kid again, and I'm at home eating a sandwich for lunch. My Mom is frustrated because the only thing I'll ever eat is bologna. We're all watching television, and there are a bunch of old ladies on some show talking about Vietnam. I start crying because I feel bad about my Dad and all the friends he lost over there. My brother walks over and gives me a hug. My Mom makes me a cheese sandwich and I eat the whole thing.

1) I get deployed to Guatemala, and when we get there, they tell us there are too many of us, so half are going to get sent back home. I volunteer to stay, even though the people who get sent home get $50. They're asking everyone in the squadron if they want to stay, and I'm really hoping this guy I work with wants to go home because he talks way too much and I don't want to have to work with him. But he decides to stay, but I'm not bothered because George Clooney is deployed with us, and he decides to stay, too. Those of us who stay are getting issued all kinds of food rations, so I'm carrying all my gear across the camp, trying to find my tent. I try to remember where we stayed last time I was in Guatemala, but I get to the end of the camp, and I still haven't found it, so I turn around and head to the other side.

1) I deploy, and we get to our site and start setting up a camp made mostly of collabsible trailers. We finish setting up camp, and I realise we're near a site where Dan is deployed, as well. I go find Dan and we hang out for a while. It gets dark, and I'm trying desperately to find my way back to my quarters. The next morning, I throw on civilian clothes to go find Dan. I say hi to him, but can't stay long because we have to tear down camp. I go back to my area, and find that they've already torn down the trailers, but I can't find any of my stuff anywhere, and I need my uniform so I can start digging trenches. I find the rest of my squadron, who are working on digging a well, and ask if they know anything about where everyone's personal stuff is. They tell me that it's packed up in an ISO box. I figure I'll just worry about it later and start helping on the well.

1) I'm on vacation in London with my family, and we're staying at this really nice hotel. One day, we go outside and get on a big tourbus, but the bus goes way too fast to see any real sights. Plus, the driver is weaving back and forth across the road, and we're all getting nauseated. I catch a glimpse of a big church, and ask my brother if it's Westminster Abbey. We get back to the hotel, and I'm laying on the floor. My Mom keeps coming in and asking if I'm okay, but I just want to get some sleep.

1) I'm in a school building hanging out with people with whom I went through grade school. June White is there, and we're talking about how her Mom used to always bring in cookies on Fridays. We all go outside, and everyone is in a panic. A big bus comes along, and we all get on. My parents find me, and we ride this overcrowded bus together for a while. I look out over the city and see all these little explosions going off, but they're not like regular firey explosions. They're like little white bubbles popping all over the place. The bus stops at the top of a big hill, and we all get out and climb down this rocky slope. We end up in the middle of a bunch of wooden shacks, looking for a safe place. The bus driver leads us to one house where we go inside, and his Mom is there.

1) I'm deployed, and I'm walking around base with some friends. We find an old, abandoned bunker with a movie projector inside. Me and one guy start watching a movie in the bunker, but the other guy doesn't want to go inside, so he stays outside. After watching the movie for a while, I get up and crawl out of the hatch. I'm talking to my friend outside, when suddenly a huge explosion goes off inside the bunker. I look down inside, and all I see is the ashes of the guy who stayed down there. I wonder what prompted me to get up and leave when I did.

2) I go into a Cingular store to get the new Apple iPhone. They don't have a lot of advertisements for it, and I keep trying to get a sales clerk to help me, but they're all busy. I finally find one, and as soon as I pick it up, a sales guy starts asking me questions about it. I decide to buy it. I walk out of the store, and I'm in San Diego. I'm walking along the beach, and there are tons of people there. There's also a bunch of marine life, like walruses and whales and stuff right in the water. This guy says he's from the zoo, and that he wants everyone to start playing with the animals. I start wrestling around with a seal, but I don't want to get my phone wet, so I keep walking toward the city. I'm walking through an inlet, and suddenly there's a big earthquake, and this big wall comes up from underground. I'm riding on top of the wall, but there are people still on the ground that are getting crushed. Eventually, the wall goes back underground. I start running into the city, and I find myself at the top of a huge building. Spider-man is up there, and he's about to fall over the edge, and at the last minute, something stops him. I turn around and my parents and my brother are there, and these Japanese people want to take our picture.

1) I'm at my Grandparents' house for Christmas and everyone has opened their presents. My brother got a new snowmobile, and he lets me take it for a ride. I get back and he's really drunk and there are beer bottles all over the place. We leave and go to some big house party, and this girl there asks me if I'm hungry. She gives me a pill and tells me to give her twenty bucks. I take the pill and we all start hallucinating. I want to go back to my Grandparents' house, so we get in my car. As we're driving down the road, all the other cars start transforming into robots. I know I'm hallucinating and that it isn't real, but I get really scared because I'm thinking all the robots are chasing us. I start hitting all these random buttons in the car, and then my car goes invisible. We take this dirt road off to the side in hopes of evading all the robots. When we re-appear, my car doesn't look anything like it did before. We get back to my Grandparents' house, and there's a big party going on and all the girls from the other party are there, and they're taking their clothes off. There's a really hot girl in a bikini, and I start licking her belly-button.

1) I'm in the desert, and I'm hanging out in my shop, which is actually a tent. I don't know any of the other people there, but we're laughing and tossing around the football. We hear a bunch of people talking outside, so we walk out and there are a bunch of flightline workers out there staring off in the distance. We look out onto the horizon and there is a huge storm headed our way, with lots of dark clouds and lightning and, like, three tornadoes. Everyone starts freaking out wondering if we should take cover inside the tent or if we have time to head back to main base, but I just stare at the big storm.

1) I'm going TDY to Japan, and we travel over there by boat. It's raining the whole time, and even after we get there, it's still raining. We're trying to figure out our mission, and I think there's some kind of competition going on. George Bush is supposed to visit while we're there, so security is really tight. We're all getting a briefing in the theatre, and the lights go out. We can hear the rain coming down outside, and I'm really creeped out. I get up and go outside, and it's still raining.

2) I'm visiting my cousins in South Carolina, and I find a box of all my old Transformers up in their attic. I get them out and start playing with them.

3) Some guy and I are going to see Gwen Stefani in concert. We get to the venue really early, and it's all general admission, so we get a really good seat in the front. There's a big fence along the side of the stage, and we sit next to it. The guy goes to get something to drink, and while he's gone, Gwen is on the stage rehearsing. She comes right next to me, and I smile at her. She says, "Thanks for coming," and continues rehearsing. When the guy gets back, I tell him that Gwen talked to me, but he doesn't believe me.

1) I'm in the desert, and I hear we're going to get forward deployed to another base. I go back to my room, which is in a huge barracks with a bunch of bunk beds, and I start packing all my stuff. I see Nick and a few other guys, and they're already taking their stuff to the drop-off point. We have several hours before we're supposed to be there, so I go to the other side of the base because Gwen Stefani is performing a USO show. I'm backstage, and Gwen is singing, and she brings me out on stage, so I start dancing around with her for the whole song. I don't want to look like an idiot, so I leave the stage after the song. I'm talking to some old civilian man afterward, and Gwen comes back there, and she smiles at me, but that's it. I go back to my barracks and grab my stuff. There are some other guys there, as well, and I ask if they want a ride to the drop-off point. I start thinking that maybe I should have taken a shower before we get on the plane.