Sunday, February 26, 2006

1) I'm home visiting family, and my family and Garah's family are all going out to brunch together. We go to a restaurant, and as we're waiting in the lobby, I notice that my Mom has gotten really fat. We're walking to our table and I think I see Sue Shouse, a lady who went to my Church when I was growing up. I go ahead and sit down anyway. We're looking at the menu, and I look over and see Donna Jo Mason, and her daughters, Laura and Camille, sitting with Sue. I tell my Dad what to order for me, and go over and talk to them. Donna Jo refers to Laura as "Cavanar," but I think that maybe she got married to a guy who's last name is "Cavanaugh," but that's just the way she pronounces it in her Kentucky accent. Laura tells me she's engaged, and shows me her ring. I start talking to Camille, and I want to ask about her kids, but the only one I can remember is Tyler, even though I know she has three. And I can't remember her married name, either.

Monday, February 20, 2006

1) I'm hanging out with Lindsay Lohan a lot, and I kinda want to date her, but I don't know how she feels about it. We're visiting Shaun Chauta in Italy, and she's upset because she wants to attend a certain school somewhere in Australia, but there's no gymnastics program there. I'm giving her a hug and I want to kiss her, but I don't. Then she loses her cell phone. We look all over Shaun's house, but we can't find it. We got to the store to buy a new one, and Lindsay is still upset.

2) I'm at the house in Morganfield with a bunch of friends. We order pizza, but I walk to go get it. I get back and we eat it all and fall asleep. I wake up the next morning and there are all these weird people in black capes walking around outside. We're all freaked out, but we decide to go into the garage and grab shovels and baseball bats to scare them off. We walk into the living room and Mom and Dad and their friends are in there. I ask if the weird people are all still outside, and Mom says no. I figure they were just trying to be creepy because it's Halloween. I go back into my room and reach into my pocket. I pull out four different cell phones, but none of them are mine. I look all over for my cell phone, but I can't find it. My friend Nick tells me to fill out a form at the hospital, and they'll give me money for a new one.

Friday, February 17, 2006

1) I'm out partying with Chris, Jerry, and a bunch of Jerry's friends. We're walking around a hotel and I go into a room where a bunch of guys are drinking beer. I chat with them for a bit, and then Catherine Keener comes in. She makes me lick her shoes. We stay out really late, and Chris and I take Catherine home and find that we only have a few minutes to get to Church. I skip showering and just wet down my hair. We all go to Church, and everyone is staring at us. We're talking to a few people who have this book on diseases you can get from being bitten by different kinds of moths. I start thinking about wrestling around with this giant moth with huge teeth.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

1) I'm at a big party with Abby and her family and there's tons of other people there, too. George Bush is there, and he goes to the front of the room and announces that John Edwards will be the new President of the United States. John Edwards steps out and I start cheering, but nobody else is very happy about it. Caleb Moore is there, and he runs up to get John's autograph. Music starts playing, and we all start dancing. I end up in my underwear. I go back to the table where I was sitting, and John comes over and starts playing cards with me.

Friday, February 10, 2006

1) The planet has been taken over by dinosaurs, and there are only a few humans left. Alex and I are living in some kind of compound with about ten other people. It's really difficult and strict, and we're always being instructed on how to deal with going outside the compound and what to do if you encounter a dinosaur. One day, we're outside the compound, and this guy drives up in a pick-up truck, and he's waving a gun around. I try to take the gun away, but he starts shooting it at me. I hide beneath the truck, and then jump up and take the gun away. I'm trying to salvage as many bullets as possible so we can fight the dinosaurs if necessary. Alex gets upset and leaves the compound to try to find his parents. One guy's stuff turns up missing, and everyone blames Alex, but I tell them Alex would never do anything like that.

2) I'm nominated for an Oscar, and I'm going to be escorting Scarlett Johansson to the ceremony. I'm staying in a fancy hotel in LA, and I see Lindsay Lohan, who's also nominated. We start talking and I'm excited because Scarlett is my date, but I get the impression Lindsay doesn't like Scarlett. Lindsay has just gotten her hair done, and we get on the elevator together so she can go to her room and put her dress on. I tell her I've never been around so many famous people before and she acts like it's no big deal.