Friday, September 30, 2005

1) I'm working at Gap in Vegas again, and lots of the same people still work there. It's my first night, and whenever any customers come in, I do my best to greet them and point them in the right direction. On my break, I buy a sweatshirt. Melissa comes in to say hi, and a few other people are with her. I talk to them for a bit, but I don't want to look like too much of a slacker, so I tell them I have to get back to work. Later, when we're getting ready to close, my manager tells me I should have gone through her to buy my sweatshirt because it was an employee purchase. Also, they list everyone's sales for the night, and the only thing I have is the sweatshirt I bought.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

1) I'm driving a brand new Camaro out in the country to my squadron picnic. I pull in, and I'm hoping everyone sees me and likes my car. I park and get out and walk through this big house. I see everyone out back, and it's mostly people from my squadron in Japan. The picnic is being held this really rich guy's house and he has two big rollercoasters in the back. I see Adam Watson and Mikey Kiel, so I start talking to them. Mikey seems really depressed, so I'm trying to cheer him up. I tell him we should go to Vegas one weekend, and he says he's trying to save money so his brothers can visit.

2) I'm walking through a big mall, and I go into a department store. The sales ladies are being really nice to me, but I don't see anything I really like, so I feel kinda bad. Some guy walks up to me, like he knows me, and I end up buying him a shirt, tie, and belt. There are these two teenage girls there buying prom dresses and making a lot of noise. I walk out and get on the escalator, and at one point, it starts going backwards, and I can't walk fast enough to make it to the top. Some lady on the escalator with me is an ultra-conservative radio personality and she falls off because she can't keep up.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

1) I'm walking through this big office building because I heard that Garah is working there, and I want to go visit her. I walk for a really long time, and I finally see her handing out leaflets and a kiosk. I talk to her for a bit, and she seems really down. I ask her how Levi is doing. She leaves and I follow her. She's driving in her truck and goes into a grocery store. I try to follow her, but I go into the wrong store. I turn around and find the right one. I go inside, but I can't find her, so I look around and a few other random things like books and patio furniture.

Monday, September 26, 2005

1) I'm a back-up dancer on tour with Madonna, and we're in the middle of a performance, between songs, and we're changing costumes backstage. We're getting ready to go out to perform "Vogue" but someone has misplaces Madonna's costume, so everyone is really freaking out. I'm just sitting in the dressing room and then someone finds it so we finish the performance. We're in a different city, and we're performing this song where we're wearing these really weird gold outfits and jumping in and out of these doors on the stage, and I keep accidentally going in the wrong door. All of the sudden, all these people come in the arena, and they're all evacuees from the hurricanes. Madonna tells them all they can stay and see the show for free, and she even decides to start over from the beginning so they don't miss anything.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

1) I'm with my parents and a bunch of their friends on a road trip. We stop at this theatre and watch some kind of Biblical play. After the performance, the director comes out and tells us that one of the actresses will be moving on to another production, so they have this tradition of sending them off after their last performance. The girl comes out on stage and there's this really loud shriek and she starts screaming and all these lights start flashing. It's kinda scary, but everyone starts clapping. We leave the theatre and everyone gets kinda frustrated because nobody can make the call on where to have dinner.

Friday, September 23, 2005

1) I'm riding with my Dad on his bike, and there are several other riders with us. We stop at this big house out in the country to visit a family. The family has a bunch of daughters, and we eat breakfast with them. We leave and head home to the house in Morganfield. When we get there, Chris has made the house into an audition place for people to be on American Idol. Mom and Dad don't seem to be too upset, though. The kitchen has been totally rearranged, and it makes no sense.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

1) I'm hanging out at this random girl's dorm room, and she has to share a bathroom with the people next door. I go in too pee, and after I'm done, I decide I need to shave. I go to the sink and pick up a razor, but I can't find any shaving gel, so I just get the razor wet and start shaving anyway. It's not doing a very good job. Then, one of the guys from the opposite room walks in and asks me what I'm doing. I tell him I'm shaving, and he just looks at me funny.

Monday, September 19, 2005

1) I'm in New York City, and I get on the subway, but I don't really know where I'm going. I get off and go up to the street. There's graffiti everywhere, but it looks really beautiful to me, so I don't know if I'm in a good area of town or not. There are lots of rough-looking people staring at me, so I decide to get back onto the subway. I get off again, and I'm walking around, and I overhear some people say they're looking for a new roommate, so I start talking to them. I go to their house with them, and it's really old, but in a cool way, so I move in. I'm walking around and meeting lots of people and I meet the guy that owns the house. Then Pat Gamblin walks in and I ask her how she's doing.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

1) I'm at this big party somewhere, and I don't really know anyone. There are some cartoon characters there, and they're being really loud and obnoxious. Someone turns on the television, and I see a sitcom starring Jay and Sarah Weldon, people I knew in high school. Things start to get really crazy, so I walk out to my car, and there's a girl in there that I don't like very much. I tell her I'm just going to hang out until the party calms down a bit, and she says she's doing the same thing. We start talking and realise that we don't dislike each other as much as we thought. She starts giving me a massage.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

1) I'm deployed but it's not to the desert. We're driving around in these big motor home-type vehicles. We get back to our shop and Ryan and this other guy start playing ping pong. Ryan is losing pretty bad and he gets really upset and starts to make excuses and is being a really sore loser. I get fed up so I go into another room to play the pinball machine. When I get there, a bunch of guys are working on it and debating on whether to take the legs off or not.

Friday, September 16, 2005

1) I'm riding my old bicycle around and my old friend Justin is on the back. We're riding all over this town looking for something fun to do. We don't feel like shopping or eating or whatever, and we just can't think of anything fun to do. We end up getting on the interstate (still on the bicycle) and driving to some girl's house. We're almost there, and I see my Dad walking down the road wearing a suit. We stop and talk to him, and I tell him we're going to this girl's house for a wedding. We all get there, and find out it's the girl's Mom who is getting married. After the wedding, it's starting to get dark, and we're all sitting in the yard. I walk across the street to this building and Ellen DeGeneres is inside hosting a big lesbian party, so I stick around for a bit.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

1) I'm watching some big fighting competition between people and these huge dogs, and they both have super powers. The people can shoot laser beams and the dogs talk and can fly around and stuff. It's on top of this big wall right next to a huge lake, and every time one of the dogs lose a fight, I feel really bad for them and I run down to the pit to see if I can helpt them.

Monday, September 12, 2005

1) I'm riding around with some people in a big motor home. We hear on the radio that this horrible winter storm is coming through, and they tell us to find shelter. We end up going to this huge gymnasium. It's really nice inside, and there are about 100 people there, also taking shelter. Jake Gyllenhaal is there, and he's showing us around. We go skinny dipping in the pool for a while, and then we all head to the kitchen, which is totally stocked. It's like a big party, and we're kinda hoping the bad weather lasts for a long time so we can stay for free.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

1) I'm deployed to the desert, but my time is almost up and a bunch of us are getting ready to leave. I'm worried because we're supposed to be leaving in a couple days, and I haven't started my out-processing yet. Johnny, a guy in my shop, already has his done, and his wife is there visiting. We're living in these really nice dorms, and every time I go up to my room, this girl gets angry at me for walking all over the floor she just cleaned.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

1) I'm in a mall with a bunch of people who are supposed to be my family, I think. They're really ghetto and we're all carrying guns with us. We walk into a store and there are these really cool sunglasses for sale, but they're $1000 bucks. One of my brothers(?) wins some kind of contest, and gets to buy the glasses for $120, but he doesn't want them. I tell him to wait until I run to the ATM so I can buy them. I go to the ATM and I accidentally hit an extra zero, so I end up pulling out $1200, and the ATM runs out of money. I go back down to the store to buy the sunglasses and there's a robbery in progress by a guy from a family that we really don't like. He attempts to leave the store, and we all gang up on him and pull out our guns. I'm shaking and I accidentally shoot him in the hip, sending him to the ground. He's still alive, and the ambulance comes and takes him away. Everyone says I'm a hero, but I feel awful. Lisa Kudrow comes up and gives me a hug and tells me she's pregnant with my baby and I start crying uncontrollably.

Friday, September 09, 2005

1) I'm at the house in Morganfield, and I'm out in the garage with my Dad. I see my brother's old bicycle, and I start thinking about fixing it up so I can ride it. I put air in the tires, but there's a hole, so they keep deflating. I walk downtown to where the bicycle shop is, and it's really difficult to walk. Every time I have to jump over a ditch, I end up falling in and getting wet. I finally get there, and I'm walking around looking at all the different bikes. I start thinking about just buying a new bike, but I wonder if I should because I hear that lots of bike riding can cause erectile disfunction later in life. While I'm walking around, I see Cameron Diaz talking to the old man who works there. I overhear her telling him she wants to go out with Dave, this guy in my shop, and I get jealous because I want to go out with Cameron.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

1) I'm working with a bunch of guys in a shack in the middle of a big field. We're all working on some big machine-like thing, but I don't really know what's going on, so I just hand the guy next to me a bunch of little parts out of a bucket and hope for the best. I start singing a song, and then Thom Yorke shows up, and tells me that the tune I'm singing would be great for the new Radiohead album. He sits down and starts playing this weird musical instrument, and writing lyrics on a paper. He keeps asking for help, but I tell him I don't know anything about writing songs. Then MSgt Rogers walks in the door, and tells me that I should help Thom out and that maybe songwriting is something I would like and it wouldn't hurt to give it a try.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

1) I'm in a really poor family, but they just got a lot of money, so they're building a new house, but still living in the old one, which is really in shambles. I have a bunch of older siblings, and they're all really mean to me. My sister likes to throw these big balls of wax at me, and get it in my hair and stuff. I'm always locking myself in my room and walking out on the roof, which gives way beneath me every time I walk on it. The only thing that makes me happy is when my father comes home and talks to me about airplanes.

Friday, September 02, 2005

1) I'm leaving work on a Friday afternoon, and everyone there is going to this bar downtown, so I decide to go, too. The bar is really crowded, and everyone is having a really good time, but I'm just kinda wandering around looking for people I know. I see Garah, and say "hi" but she has a bunch of her other friends there, so I don't really tag along. I see Pat, Garah's Mom, come in, so I go talk to her. She's looking for Garah, so I tell her that I'll go and look for her. I walk around the bar looking for Garah, but I can't find her. I go back and tell Pat that I can't find her, but I'll keep looking. I start walking around again and I hear this guy outside singing really loud. Everyone looks out the window, and it's this civilian guy from my shop. He's really drunk, and him and two other guys are getting into a truck to go home. He keeps singing really loud and everyone is laughing at him. I see Randy in a booth, and tell him that the guy was doing the same thing at the shop earlier that afternoon. I start walking around and see Garah again, along with Sherry and Amy, and I tell her that her Mom is there looking for her and she just rolls her eyes.

2) There are a bunch of criminals with super powers in jail, and I'm supposed to be guarding them. They all keep trying to trick me into letting them go. I tell my boss, and he says the only way to stop that is to kill them all. I don't want to kill them, but he orders me to do it, and if I don't, then I might end up dead myself. He says the best way to do it is to kill each one with their own weapon. One of the criminals has a really tiny head and his weapon is a big lasso, so I grab the lasso and try to wrap it around his neck, but he opens his mouth and it ends up gagging him. I start to feel really bad for him, and I put him back in his cell. I start talking to all the other ones, and even though I know they're all evil, I can't help but feel sorry for them.