Thursday, May 31, 2007

1) I'm at work, and my boss tells me I'm going to get orders to a guard base in Hawaii, and everyone else in the shop is getting orders to the main base on Hawaii. I'm really excited, and I'm not sure who to tell first. I start thinking in my head how I'm going to write this on my blog. I call my Dad and start to tell him, but I stop because I'd rather tell him and Mom at the same time, plus I feel some strange obligation to write it on my blog first, too, knowing that my parents won't read it. So I tell my Dad that I'm coming home right after work that night. He's really silent on the phone for a minute, so I know he knows something's up, but I'm now sure if he knows exactly what.

Friday, May 18, 2007

1) I'm a contestant on The Price Is Right, and I'm on stage, but Bob Barker has already left the show and they new guy they hired is a real asshole. He's really messed up on drugs and he's stumbling around the stage groping the models and screaming random things. A door opens up and Nick from my shop comes out. He's just wearing pants and he's drunk and he can barely stand. The models are all trying to hold him up, and he pulls out his penis and starts waving it around. It's got a really funny shape to it and I can't stop staring at it. He keeps saying, "It's good for the ladies!" over and over.

Friday, May 11, 2007

1) I'm TDY in Texas, I think, and a bunch of us are driving around looking for somewhere to go to breakfast. We're in a huge SUV that the Air Force has given us for the duration of the trip. I'm driving, and everyone is giving me directions to different places, but I can't understand anyone because they're all yelling. We're getting on a freeway, and as we do, I see some guy driving the wrong way in a green Jeep. I point it out to everyone, but everyone disagrees with me, saying the Jeep isn't green. Someone hands me a piece of bacon, and without thinking about it, I start eating it. I'd forgotten what bacon tasted like, and it's making me nauseated, but I'm eating it anyway.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

1) I'm living in a house with six or seven other people, and during the day, we have Bible lessons and prayer sessions. But at night, all kinds of supernatural and paranormal things happen. There are loud noises and we see ghosts and stuff that's really scary. We know it's going to happen every night, but we want to see what's going to be different. One day, we all leave the house to go water skiing at a nearby lake. I'm skiing behind the boat, and the water is really choppy so I keep falling down. A lifeguard comes out and tells us we can't ski anymore because the water is too rough. But it makes me really angry and I tell him it's a free country. The boat comes back around to pick me up and I start skiing again. I look over and see the lifeguard and he's really angry.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

1) I'm driving out in the country, and I come across a small town in the mountains and decide to get some food. I walk toward an outdoor cafe, but decide to cross a bridge to a little general store. I walk inside and there are three really hot girls and one ugly one. The three hot girls are making out with each other, and the ugly one walks toward me. I start calling out to the three hot ones, but they ignore me. I walk outside, and the ugly one follows me. I look up in the sky and I can see the moon. I see something happening on the surface of the moon, but I can't focus very well. All of the sudden, the moon explodes. The first thing I think is that I need to get to work. I start running for my truck, but then there's a big earthquake and I keep falling down. I grab my phone and start calling my parents.