Tuesday, April 20, 2004

1) I'm on a trip with some friends and after going to Disneyland, we stay overnight at one girl's house. A tiger comes in and at first we're scared, but then I start talking to it. The girl's mom is out of town and she's really paranoid about keeping the house clean. The next morning, we all go to pick up her mom from the airport.

Monday, April 19, 2004

1) I'm in Iraq and my Mom is in the military and deployed with me. We're on a job together and she's flirting with MSgt Thompson like some little school girl, and I'm getting kinda angry with her.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

1) I'm involved in some kind of relay race using lots of shoes and t-shirts at the HH. The whole time we're kind of paranoid about some evil tyrant. Afterward, we put flowers all around the house to keep away evil spirits.

Friday, April 16, 2004

1) I'm on my way to Iraq and several of us are staying in a hotel and trying to order pizza because we don't want to walk across the street to the Waffle House. Tim Linder is there.

2) I'm at some resort or something at the top of a mountain with my Mom and we're getting ready to leave when we see a bunch of military people arrive. We hide and they don't see us. We get in the car and speed to the house in Morganfield. We're getting the dog and grabbing a few things because we're really scared the military guys will come after us. The car is in the back yard for some reason, and I'm trying to persuade the dog to get in the car so we can take off.

3) I'm in Vegas staying with Jim, but he's married to Jen Price and this other guy lives there, too. We're all trying to go to sleep one night, but we can't so we decide to go for a swim in their indoor pool. I'm swimming underwater and I see a big grate at the bottom of the pool. I swim down to it and get caught in the suction. I'm trying to wave my hands around, but the water is too deep and nobody can see me, and I start to drown.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

1) I'm in Vegas on my way to Iraq and I go into Gap and see all my old friends. We reminisce and I tell them about my last deployment and that I'm on my way there again. Madonna is playing a show in town that night, and we all go, but the performance is really disappointing. At the end, I see Abby, Jeni-Bomb, and Andrew Peterka, and we all hug.

2) I'm at a really cool mall in Hachinohe that looks just like the mall in Morioka. I go into the bathroom and I'm standing at the urinal, there are some guys behind me dealing drugs or something. I leave and go to Starbucks.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

1) I'm on vacation in London with my Mom and we're shopping at a K-Mart really late. We're looking at different kinds of lights. All I buy is a stupid little key chain with a wind-up toy dragon on it, but we wait in line for a long time because it's so crowded. We get out of line to go look at something else and get back and the line is even longer, but the lady who was next to us before let's us back in next to her. We get back to the hotel and talk about getting some food, but Mom decides to go to bed. I go outside with the dog and fall asleep on the front lawn. I wake up the next morning and I'm in my room and Tim Klingenberg and Drew Branson are there and they tell me the new Air Force regulations will allow us to grow goatees.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

1) I go to Hakkoda to snowboard, but there's hardly any snow at all. Some people are riding their boards down in the dirt and mud.

2) I'm trapped on the top floor of a skyscraper overnight with about 20 other people. For some reason, they're all paranoid a plane is going to fly into the building, so I'm trying to calm them all down, but I'm a little scared, too.

3) I live in this huge house and my brother is coming to visit and my Mom wants to pull some kind of practical joke on him. Bill Murray is somehow involved.

Monday, April 12, 2004

1) My friend Valerie is getting married in Miama or L.A. and invites me to the wedding. It's the same night as a Britney Spears concert and Britney and her crew are staying at the same hotel as me. I'm hanging out at the hotel after the wedding and the concert and I see Courtney Love with some other girl and they're really high. I start hanging out with them and Courtney ODs and suddenly the ambulance and the cops are there and everyone's talking about it but they're all getting the story wrong.

2) I'm married and looking for a house and we find one on a big hill overlooking a city. To celebrate, we go out to eat at a Japanese restaurant and Ichikawa is there.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

1) I'm back in Kentucky and my family is eating out at a restaurant. My dad gets up to leave to take my grandmother to a doctor's appointment. I leave because I have this great job at some kind of department/grocery store.

Saturday, April 10, 2004

1) I'm eating out with Paul, Trish, Andre Rendon, his wife, and some people I don't know. Afterward, we're shopping and I steal an iPod. On the way out of the parking lot, I'm stopped by Japanese security guards so they can search my car. They find the stolen iPod, but I tell them it's mine and they totally believe me. I get back to the dorm and everyone is there watching "The Simpsons."

Friday, April 09, 2004

1) I'm at a big indoor gym and I'm teaching Emma Weber how to rollerskate. There's also a kid's indoor soccer tournament going on and I see a lady try to leave her son beneath the bleachers and abandon him. I grab the boy and we start running after his mother.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

1) I'm smoking pot with TSgt Rhea, and were driving around in his car and stop at this playground in a big park. I see Meredith and she tells me she's married, but she's getting ready to go out on a date with Jason Mraz, even though she doesn't know who he is. After that, she goes on a date with me.

2) I'm walking down a big hallway in a school, and I'm looking in windows in doors. I find one door that doesn't have a window, so I walk in and I see Jo Bradshaw in a room with a bunch of naked guys.

Saturday, April 03, 2004

1) I'm laying in bed and Captain Frey is tucking me in using these big cargo straps. I'm talking to him and I notice that he only has a single bar on his collar, so I start teasing him and calling him "LT."