Sunday, October 31, 2004

1) Melissa and I are visiting my parents. We wake up on a Saturday morning, and my Mom is doing our laundry. Melissa goes to take a shower and I find a bunch of car brochures underneath her pillow. My dad comes in and starts talking about how this guy he knew in the Air Force was separating after 18 years of service because he got some great job on the outside. The Phil Donohue Show is on the television.
1) I'm eating dinner in an outdoor restaurant with an LT from my squadron. My family is there, too, but they're sitting at a different table. Suddenly, the LT comes across the table and tries to kiss me, but I back away because my family is there. I go inside the nearest building and start watching the news.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

1) I wake up one morning, and as I pass my back bedroom on the way to the bathroom, I see a bunch of people sleeping in there, and I don't know how or why they're there. So I go into the bathroom and close the door, and I'm really paranoid for some reason. I look out the key hole and I see them all get up and leave.

2) I have a twin and we're some kind of crime fighting team, but my twin is really lazy and I can never get him to go out and fight the bad guys.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

1) I'm friends with Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, and Ben is dating this really hot Spanish girl, but she's cheating on him with Owen. So the three of us are driving around in this van trying to cheer up Ben. Then we stop by the girl's house, and sneak around the back side to spy on her, and she's with another guy, so now Owen and Ben are both upset. Then Ben pulls out a gun and aims it at her, so Owen and I are trying to pull him away. Then the girl and the guy she's with see us, and the guy comes out and shoots Ben, so Owen and I drag him back to the van and are trying to get him to the hospital.

2) I go into the bathroom (that looks like the bathroom of my house in Morganfield) to take a shower, and I pull back the shower curtain, and Brad is sitting in the bathtub reading a book. For some reason, it doesn't really bother either of us, so I go ahead and start running the water for my shower, and get in, and we start having a conversation about the book.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

1) I'm out in the ocean with this girl I've never seen before, we're trying to have oral sex with each other, but it's really difficult because we're trying to stay afloat at the same time.

2) I've separated from the military, and I get a job washing dishes at some hotel. I'm working the night shift, and one night, when I go in to work, I see Nina Ledford walking out. She says she has separated from the military, as well, and she has the same job, but she works the day shift.
1) Something involving a gigantic shoe store and it was extremely bright inside. So bright, that I had to put on my sunglasses. I'm browsing in the shoe store and I find all kinds of shoes I like, but I get frustrated because I can't decide which ones to buy.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

1) I'm working at Gap again, and the store at which I work is actually a really old house that's been converted. Madonna has bought all the Gap stores, and she's getting ready to come to my store for a visit and everyone's freaking out. The store looks immaculate. Actually, I'm not even supposed to be there. It's supposed to be just the managers and stuff, but I showed up anyway, just because I want to see Madonna. I'm kinda standing in the back when she arrives, and I start to get really nervous and scared I'm going to faint when she walks by. She walks around the store with the manager, but doesn't come to where I'm standing, and then starts to leave, and I get really dissappointed. Then she stops and turns around and asks about a rack of clothing next to me. I start talking and I'm amazed at how professional and intelligent I sound. I answer all her questions thoroughly, and she seems pleased. So then she leaves, and I go to the kitchen where the cook is trying to fix a doorknob.

2) I'm riding on the bullet train to Tokyo with Paul and Trish, just to make sure they get on their plane to the States okay, and I'm wondering if I should take the train back to Misawa, or fly.

3) We're in the middle of a base exercise, and I'm trying to out-process my squadron at the same time. And anytime we leave the room, we have to give this ridiculously long reporting statement. So I get frustrated and decide to go for a run. I'm running down this big corridor filled with people and I see Shelby running, too. I run for about 3 miles, and then turn around to go back. When I get back, I see a note saying I have to go to the orderly room for some paperwork regarding my out-processing. So I go up there, and they have all these snacks and lemonade and stuff. And the orderly room people are walking around in civilian clothes.

4) I'm on vacation with a bunch of people in some tropical location. We get a room in a hotel and it's really small. I go into the bathroom, and there are crabs and spiders and other bugs all over the place. I go out and talk to Paul about it, and we decide to call the manager. Then Paul sees this other guy in the room across from ours, and decides to go ask him about Jesus instead.

Monday, October 25, 2004

1) I'm some kind of guard in a women's prison, and there is an inmate that looks like Catherine O'Hara who gets to go to some kind of party because she's behaved herself. And I'm the one that has to escort her. She ends up getting really drunk and hitting on this guy, and she gets mad when I tell him she can't go home with him because she has to go back to prison. The rest of the night is spent trying to get her back in my car so I can drive her back to the penitentiary, and she is a very annoying drunk.

2) I'm babysitting this kid and he has a "Sopranos" playset with a bunch of action figures, and I start playing with the action figures. I get a kick out of the playset because it's really morbid and has different ways to kill and torure people.

3) I'm walking down the street in some city, and I'm walking by a hospital when a doctor is getting a patient on a gurney out of an ambulance. He asks for help, so I help him wheel the gurney through the hospital and into the elevator. After we get off the elevator, we drop the patient off in an examination room, and the doctor thanks me and goes somewhere else. I'm walking out of the hospital when I realize I've left my sunglasses somewhere inside, so I go back in and look for them. I'm getting really frustrated because they are my favorite sunglasses and they're Armani and they cost a lot of money. I'm walking all over the hospital and I don't find my sunglasses, but I end up hitting on this really hot nurse.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

1) I'm deployed, but we're working in a big city somewhere. We're practicing how to drive convoys in what looks like the garage of my house in Morganfield. Then all these big balloon-like bombs start dropping, but we don't know if they're real bombs, or part of some kind of exercise, so we just kind of ignore them. Then, it's night time, and we're driving the actual convoy, and getting ready to leave the base. I'm riding on a trailer being hauled by a truck driven by Scarlett Johansson. She's trying to turn the truck around, and gets frustrated and hits the gas really hard, leaving behind the trailer with me on it. The truck goes out into a busy interection, and there's a horrible accident smashing the truck in two. Scarlett is instantly killed, and I start feeling guilty because I think I should have been the one driving.