Monday, December 31, 2007

1) I'm in Italy, and I'm talking with a bunch of people at work. Some of them are mad because they have to work Christmas Eve, but I don't think I do. I go to the commissary because I have to pick up strawberry jam, and I start thinking that it's ridiculous, and I should just get some when my other jar runs out because I live really close. I get in my car to drive home, and there's a big parade going by with tons of circus animals. I stop at a light, and when I look in my side mirror, I see a bunch of gorillas walking down the sidewalk. I'm kinda nervous because I don't know if they're dangerous or not.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

1) I'm at a Smashing Pumpkins concert, and I'm right down front. I'm taking tons of really great pictures of Billy Corgan and the entire band. I notice that D'Arcy is playing the drums for some reason. They start to play "Today" and Billy does a huge stage dive into the crowd. They pause for intermission, and Courtney Love comes out to play an acoustic set. Everyone leaves except for me and one other person. I start screaming for Courtney and telling her how awesome I think she is. She throws big jawbreakers out, and I'm picking them up. We start talking, and I'm wondering when her new solo album is going to come out.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

1) I'm in college, and I go into this room in the dorm. The room looks like a big dungeon, and a bunch of people are playing some kind of role playing game. They ask me to join in, so I do. I don't really know what's going on, but right after I sit down, the guy beside me loses, so he gets up and leaves. Everyone else decides to give me all his cards. Whenever I look at the cards, the characters on the cards come to life and act out what you're supposed to do when you play the card. They're trying to teach me how to play and give me tips and stuff. I start asking which card I should play, but it takes so long because I have to wait for the card to act it out before I can find out what it does. I end up playing a card, and a big, goofy cartoon mouse gets grabbed by some monster. The monster tries to pull him through a brick wall, but the mouse is too big and doesn't fit. The monster keeps pounding the mouse up against the wall. The mouse loses consciousness and wakes up in real life. He's in this gorgeous atrium with lots of green vegetation and some tables with tea and biscuits. He starts walking around, glad that he's out of the jaws of the monster.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

1) I go home to Kentucky, and Mom tells me that Garah and I are playing piano at Church the next day. When I get to Church, Garah gives me the music I'm supposed to play, and right then, everyone starts coming in for the service. I'm really nervous because I haven't practiced at all. After the sermon, Garah starts playing, but she's playing the wrong song. I don't know what to do, so I start passing the offering plate. After Church, we go over to the Mason's house, and Camille is really pregnant.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

1) I'm at a barbecue at work, and I'm walking around trying to finish up some stuff while everyone else is eating. I look out the window and see Lucy Weber, so I start running around trying to find Don and Jean-Marie. I see them in another room and start talking to them. My Dad shows up and asks if I'll ride with my Mom to the store. I get in the driver's seat and Mom gets in and tells me to drive across this big field. We finally get to a highway, and we have to cross a couple lanes of traffic to go the right direction. I'm waiting for cars to pass, and a couple of them are going really slow. We finally get a chance to go, and I see a big fence in a median that wasn't there before. So I turn right and hope to get a spot to turn around later. A cop pulls up behind us and turns his lights on, but then goes past us.

2) I'm in high school and I'm trying to impress some girl, so I start cutting up all my clothes to look tough. Our friends set us up on a date, but her parents want to meet me. I get my friends to help me fix up my house, and when her parents get there, they totally drill me on my intentions. They've hired a photographer to take pictures of us together, but the photographer is crazy and keeps throwing orange paint on us. The next day at school, this girl and I are both wearing motorcycle helmets and she keeps trying to talk to me, but I can't understand what she's saying.

Friday, November 30, 2007

1) I try out for some kind of high school band competition, even though I haven't picked up my horn in years. There are all kinds of people from my high school there that I haven't seen in forever. We have auditions, and Mr. Woodard is in charge (and he has a pony tail). I have no hope of making it, so I don't even go to my audition. I just want to hang out with everyone for a while. After they announce who made it into the band, I'm walking around, and I see a bunch of guys from work working on a big valve beneath the school. They're trying to get some big leak to stop, and I'm hoping they don't ask me for help. I stick around anyway, and end up tracing all these lines for them.

2) I'm at some big college somewhere, and Garah is my roommate. When she gets to our room, she's really upset, and I try to console her, but she doesn't want to talk. Some other girl comes in and they start talking, so I leave. I end up walking around with some anthropology class, and we find all these old skeletons. Some have weird shaped skulls and we decide that they must have been cannibals.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

1) Cate Blanchett and I are driving through the desert, and she keeps playing all these old Bob Dylan songs. Knox, an old fraternity brother of mine, is in the back seat singing along very badly. Cate and Knox have this big discussion about the depth of Dylan's music and I'm totally lost. I start to get frustrated, party because of the conversation, but also because I'm not sure where we're going. I decide to just keep driving, and hopefully Cate will know when I'm supposed to turn. We pull into an old gas station, but there aren't any gas pumps. Knox starts freaking out because we don't have much gas left and we have a long way to go.

2) Jay comes to visit, and we're trying to decide what to do. I'm not sure if he wants to chill out or go party with my friends in SLC. We go down to SLC and he starts hitting on Kate, but she's not interested. Jay gets upset, so I try to get him extra drunk. He passes out, so Ryan and I take him out and lay him in the back of my truck. It's cold, so I put lots of blankets on him. We go back inside, and Kate is telling us how she's decided she's going to go to beauty school and move far away from SLC.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

1) I'm working out at the gym, and I'm talking to MSgt Chavez. He says he's done working out, and he grabs his hat and leaves. I look down, but I can't find my hat, which is a red baseball cap. I look all over, picking up everyone else's hats and checking for my name. I start wondering if I need a hat to go outside when I'm in PT gear.

2) I'm going to my Grandparents' house in Evansville, and instead of riding a motorcycle, I'm riding on this weird thing that looks like a big highchair with wheels. It goes really fast, and I have a helmet on, so it's like riding a motorcycle, but it looks really ridiculous. I turn onto a smaller street and there's a big hill, so I get off my machine and pick it up and walk it over the hill. There are other people who have to get out of their cars and push them.

3) I'm on a big road trip in a really fancy car. I keep looking down at my iPod to see what's playing because I can't recognise the song. I'm following Ryan in his big truck down the freeway, but I have to stop and get gas. I flash my lights to tell him to pull over, but he just keeps going. I pull into a gas station, and there are all these hot, white-trash girls sitting outside. I sit in my car for a few minutes, and find another iPod underneath the seat. It's blue and newer than mine, and I'm wondering where it came from. I leave the gas station and drive for a while. Then I pull into a big hospital and walk inside. There are two doctors there who are just getting off, so I walk out with them. They start jogging, and I pull out my iPod and pretend it's an iPhone so I'll look cool. I start jogging, too, but my feet won't move very fast and I can't keep up with them.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

1) I'm at work and it's Halloween because a lot of people are wearing costumes. I didn't wear one, and I'm starting to think I should have. We're having a party with the squadron next to ours, and everyone in their squadron is dressed up in really elaborate costumes. I start walking around and end up in a hotel room with four other people, none of whom I know. We all fall asleep and wake up the next morning wondering where we're supposed to go. One of the girls gets in the shower, and I walk out into the hallway. Nobody is around, and I'm wondering if I should take a shower, too.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

1) I'm riding the train in Tokyo trying to get to the mall by Tokyo Disney because it has a really cool Diesel store. I get off at one stop and I'm walking around and drop my wallet. By the time I notice, I turn around and see some guy pick it up. I start chasing him and yelling at him to stop. This construction worker throws his hard hat at the guy and knocks him out. I grab my wallet and all these other people start accusing me of stealing, so I have to prove it's mine by listing all the contents and reciting my personal information. Nobody believes me, so I open up the wallet and show them my ID which obviously has my picture and not the Japanese guy that took my wallet.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

1) I get to Italy, and a bunch of friends from college pick me up. For some reason, they're all celebrating some eastern religious holiday with a bunch of Japanese people. They tell me it's the one day of the year they can do whatever they want and not have to worry about guilt or death or any kind of consequences. We go skydiving over a big lake, and my parachute doesn't open. I hit the water and go really deep. I start coming up and it takes a really long time. I wonder if I'm gonna make it to the surface before I drown, but I can feel my lungs expanding, and I keep exhaling. I finally get to the top and everyone's laughing. We go to the side of the lake and all the Japanese people are drinking beer.

Friday, November 16, 2007

1) I'm deployed and living in a cabin with some old friends from high school and some other friends from Japan. There's a guy there who's showing us around and telling us all the rules. Valerie is there, and we keep hugging because we haven't seen each other in forever. That night, there's a big concert at the theatre, and I'm trying to get everyone to go. The only person that commits is David and maybe Brad. I'm driving a baby blue Volkswagon Beetle, and we have to take a ferry to get there. I also try to get Sheryl Crow to come, but she won't. We get there and sit down, and they start showing some stupid animated film and people start throwing their popcorn at the screen. Most people get up to leave, but we sit for a while. We finally get up to leave, and we can't figure out how to get back on the ferry. So I decide I'll just leave my car there for the rest of the week and come back to get it later. I park it in a parking spot, but when I'm pulling in, I run into a fire hydrant, and it knocks the fender off.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

1) I'm TDY, and there are a whole bunch of us staying in a really crappy motel. I don't have to get up early, but everyone else does, and when I get out of bed, there's a girl walking around my room. She's really nervous because it's the day she's supposed to find out if she made rank. I tell her not to worry, and I'm sure she'll be fine. I leave and meet a bunch of people at a big mall. We're waiting to eat, and the Cardigans walk in. I start walking around with the Cardigans and Nina is telling really funny jokes. They leave, and I go back to my motel. When I get to my room, there's this strange hispanic guy asking me to spank him.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

1) I'm trying out to be on a reality television show about people who want to be models. All the contestants are in a big room and I'm trying to size up my competition. Everyone else is really hot and I don't think I'm going to get far. There are four or five ladies who used to be models trying to get us organised. Our first assignment is to write down what we think it takes to be a model and why we want to be one. I'm writing on this huge piece of red poster board, and the only writing utensil I can find is a red pen. I start writing but it doesn't show up very well. I'm not sure how long we have, and I'm trying to write fast. Other people start finishing, and I'm looking around to see if I can find another pen to use. I see John Goodman there, and he tells us we have until 2:30 AM, so I relax a little.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

1) I'm in Misawa in my car in a parking lot, and Kathy May is standing outside the passenger side windown talking to me. I look over the mountains and see a huge tidal wave of lava coming at us. Suddenly, it's flowing over us and the car is being tossed around, but not burning up. I'm worried that Kathy got swept away, but I look in the back seat and see that she jumped in just in time. Then I'm worried that we'll be burried beneath a bunch of rubble and never found.

Monday, November 05, 2007

1) It's lunch time at work, and I leave the shop, get on a bike, and ride over to the hospital to have lunch with people in the med group. I get there and they're having some sort of luncheon, so I just act like I belong there and start eating their food. Nobody seems to mind. I'm making conversation with a few people about various things, but anytime they start talking about hospital stuff, I steer the conversation somewhere else or go talk to another group. I have a box of food I've collected that I'm going to take back to my shop, but I'm wondering how easy it will be to carry on my bike. I look at my watch and realise I need to be leaving. Suddenly, a bunch of water comes flooding through the hospital. It's only about a foot deep, but it's strong enough to knock some people down. Everybody runs for the exit. Nobody knows where it's coming from. I'm outside talking to people, and I have to go back to my shop, but I left my box of food inside and they won't let me go get it.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

1) I'm deployed, but I'm in some kind of tropical area instead of the desert. There are these small lakes all over the place with huge metal structures in them, and these big beams swinging back and forth all the time. The commander has imposed all these ridiculous rules about when we have to do our laundry and getting our pictures taken. I'm sitting with a small group of people in the rec center waiting for our pictures to get taken, and we decide to play cards for a while. One girl there is really picky about where she sits and how the cards are dealt. Hillary Clinton comes in and sits down next to us and starts playing solitaire. I go into the bathroom to check my hair for the picture, then up to the dorm where all these guys are gathering people's bed linens. I see a Cody and MSgt Dawdy, who's already retired but visiting in civilian clothes, and say hi, but they just look at me funny so I leave. I walk outside and Nick and Neil are setting up a sleeping area on this overlook. I want to sleep out there, too, but it looks kinda dangerous.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

1) I'm in a loft with the cast of Friends. We're staying there over a weekend and we're all having fun and cracking jokes. I leave and I'm walking across a big parking lot. I go inside another building, and there's a big dining room with a long table down the middle. An old Chinese man is sitting at the front and he's yelling at everyone else in the room. I'm trying not to be seen. Then the Chinese man goes crazy and starts karate chopping everyone and killing them. He's floating over the table and using his sword and there's blood everywhere. I grab one of the guys and we run out of the room. He's wearing all white and he's totally soaked. We go back into the building through another door, and somehow end up in my Church back in Morganfield. I'm pulling this guy through the hallway, and we pass by the choir rehearsal room and all the old people in there are saying, "Hey, look! It's Curt!" I just want to get the other guy to safety. I tell him to hide in the bathroom, and I'm going to see if I can find my parents and get help.

2) I'm going to a spiritual retreat for a week with a bunch of Air Force people. We fly on this huge double-decker plane and the front is completely glass. Nick and I are sitting in the front seat and when we take off, it feels like we're going to go upside down. We get to the camp and everyone's getting settled. It's getting dark, and suddenly this huge wildcat with purple glowing eyes starts running through the camp and eating people. It leaves, and I just want to take a shower. I go to the shower cabin and there are a bunch of people in there. Stephanie is getting into the shower as I'm getting out, but nobody seems to care. I see Afia Malone, who I knew back in Vegas. I start talking to her, but she seems really down. Someone opens up their bag and a big glowing purple rock falls out. Everyone that looks at it disintegrates. Afia calls 911, but the guy on the other line is clueless and Afia says it's because he's white. We leave the shower cabin and I ask Afia how she's been. She says her Mom hasn't been well at all. I'm walking back to my cabin and I hear a bunch of people screaming on the other side of the camp. There's another giant wildcat with the purple glowing eyes eating people. I start running for my cabin and out of the corner of my eye, I see another giant wildcat really close to me. I wonder if I should try to get on top of the cabin and if the wildcat will be able to see me up there.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

1) I'm going through some readiness training out in the middle of the woods. I've got all my gear on, and it's hot and uncomfortable. I'm walking down this path, and I see some readiness people talking. They're laughing and joking, and they tell me I need to take cover. I ask why, and they just laugh. Then a huge bomb goes off and I hit the ground. The readiness people start laughing. After that, we're in a classroom, still in our gear, and I think we're about done for the day. Then the instructor tells us we have another twelve blocks of time. I stand up and start yelling about how none of the readiness people are taking anything seriously and not putting on their gear when they're supposed to or taking cover when bombs hit. He just blows me off, and I tell him I'm gonna fill out a horrible critique.

2) I'm home for Christmas, and my parents and I are driving to my grandparents house on Christmas Eve evening. We get there, and Mom and I are messing around in the car and Dad goes inside. When Mom and I finally go inside, there isn't anyone around. We start calling for everyone, but nobody answers. I'm thinking there's gonna be a big surprise, like my Mom's family is gonna be in from out of town, and they're gonna jump out and surprise us. But nobody does, and we keep walking back in the house. We eventually get to my grandparents bedroom, and I see my cousin Keri lying on the floor, and my Grandma is sitting in a chair next to her. Keri sits up and stares at us, and Grandma starts mumbling something incoherent.

Monday, October 22, 2007

1) I'm staying in this cabin out in the woods and it's really creepy. There are two cannibals roaming the forest, and I'm trying to lay low so they won't see me. Every time I look out the window, I see them walking around and they look like two guys I went to college with. I run outside and jump in a pickup truck, and they start chasing after me. We run around the truck, and I somehow trick them into getting in front of it so I can run them over. They get out of the way just in time, but I'm speeding down the road and they're chasing after me. I see a girl walking down the road and I pick her up. The cannibals are still chasing after us, and the girl tells me she needs to be dropped off at her father's house. I don't want to stop because the cannibals will catch us. We turn around and run over the cannibals right in front of the girl's father's house. The father runs out and I think he's going to yell at me, but he's grateful because he's been trying to kill the cannibals for months now.

2) I'm on vacation with my family and my Mom's sisters and Garah's family. We're all staying in this giant suite. I go shopping one day and find these really great lime green shoes. They're really weird and I don't have anything to wear them with, but I buy them anyway. I show them to my Mom and she says she likes them, but I don't really think she does. Garah has made brownies and they're sitting on the counter. I want to eat one, but I don't want to get caught.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

1) I'm back in Morganfield and it's really late at night, but I go next door to Garah's house because she's having a big pool party. The music is kinda loud, and when I go up to hug Garah, she starts singing along with some other girl to the whole song, and I have to wait until it's over. Jon asks me to go grab him a beer, so I walk to the other side of the pool where all the coolers are. When I get there, Garah and Jon are both already there and grabbing beers for themselves. Garah goes to the top of a big tower to adjust the volume of the music, and she turns it up really loud. I'm wondering when someone will call the cops because of all the noise.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

1) I'm on base and I've been picked to help foil some big plot to blow up a building. I have to infiltrate the bad guy's lair and make friends with them, and then relay all the information back to the base commander. The bad guys have this huge, red bomb and they somehow get it inside one of the main buildings on base. There's a big party going on that day, and I keep telling the commander to cancel the party, but she doesn't want to send everyone into a panic. So I'm running back and forth between the party and the room with the bomb trying to find out from the bad guys how to deactivate it. The bomb doesn't go off, but it's not because of anything I did. The bad guys just didn't know how to work it. I go back upstairs and the commander had a medal for me. I want to tell her I didn't really do anything, but there are lots of people watching.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

1) I'm in the fifth grade, and I'm hanging out at my friend Justin's house. He's got a lot of extra brothers and, eleven or something, one of whom is Justin Timberlake. I'm playing with them all, and we're being really rowdy and throwing football in the house and running around and stuff. A bunch of them go into another room, and I'm walking around the big living room with the television, and I overhear his Dad telling Ronnie, the oldest brother, that they're going to get a divorce. They both look at me and I feel really awkward. His Dad asks me to get all the other kids rounded up in the living room, so I go into the room where they are and tell them to go in there so we can throw the ball some more. I start tossing the football with Justin, and I end up breaking a vase, but it's not expensive or anything and nobody cares.

Monday, October 08, 2007

1) Tom Cruise and some hot girl and I are trying to break in to a big skyscraper and we're haning on cables from the roof. We're swinging all over and trying to find a weak spot in the structure. We get to the ground, and we're walking around trying not to be seen by the workers in the building. We get inside, but as soon as we do, a guy sees us and pulls the alarm. We start running, and the girl gets away, but Tom and I get captured. The building is the headquarters for some religious cult that practices mind-control. They put this weird thing around Tom's neck and I never see him again. They keep trying to get me to put one around my neck, too, but I refuse. Everybody is being really nice to me, but I know it's just becaus they want me to join their cult. They interrogate me and finally, let me go home with some people who live in the town. I walk into their apartment, and they tell me I can make one phone call. I call my Grandfather, and he's kinda disoriented because he can't understand why I'm calling. I tell him he just needs to come and pick me up. He's driving around and can't understand where I'm talking about, so I call my Grandmother and she starts talking to me about how she doesn't like the small buttons on her new phone.

2) I'm at some kind of camp with Garah, and we're walking around and checking out different activities. There's one activity based on "Saved By The Bell" where Jessie Spano wants to get breast-augmentation surgery. Garah says it's ridiculous, but secretly, I want to see what happens. We keep walking and find out we have to march in some demonstration, and everyone's meeting at a park. I have to go to the bathroom, and when I walk in, I see this guy making out with some teenage girl. I walk outside to see if I can find her parents. I see some people from work, and they tell me about how one week in the summer, they close off this whole area and it becomes a nudist colony.

Friday, October 05, 2007

1) I'm in college and i go to a party with a bunch of hipsters. They're all talking about these bands I've never heard of and watching these strange artsy films on television. Jude Law is there, and a few minutes later, Ewan McGregor shows up. They seem like cool guys, but I don't get to talk to them much. There's also a handicapped girl who has braces on her feet and legs, and every time she walks by, I get really far out of her way because I'm not sure how much room she needs. I feel awkward because I don't want to make her feel like an inconvenience. Someone puts some music on, and I'm thinking it's by some obscure band, and someone else says it's Shiny Toy Guns, but I disagree, and everyone looks at me funny. I look up and both Jude and Ewan are gone, and I'm mad I didn't get my picture with the before they left.

2) I'm on vacation with my parents at some kind of resort. We're walking to a restaurant for dinner, and we all just have shorts on. Near the restaurant, there's some kind of club that's having a jitterbug contest, and my parents want to enter. But first, they want to go back to our hotel room and change into nicer clothes. They walk back, and I look at a clock and wonder if they're going to have time to make it back before the contest starts. I hop in a big huge pickup truck, and start driving it toward the hotel. It's a really big truck, and there's not a lot of room to get around, and I'm worried I'll run over something or someone. I get to the hotel, and I start looking around for my parents. I start having flashbacks to when I'm a teenager and I wreck the car, but my brother is also in trouble for some reason, which takes the heat off me.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

1) I go down to Dallas to visit Abby. She picke me up at the airport and takes me to her house, which is different than before and huge. Her family is there, and I awkwardly ask if it's okay if my parents come and stay for a few days. They say it's fine and I go and pick my parents up at the airport. We drive around Dallas for a while, and then go back to Abby's. It's late at night and I'm talking to my parents but trying not to make a lot of noise. The next day, I have to get back to the airport, and I also have to take MSgt Frey with me, and I really can't stand him. All I have is a little mini-truck to take all our luggage, and I'm relieved when I find out he's going to be riding his bike. I wonder how long it's going to take him to get there, and if he'll even be able to ride his bike on the interstate. As I'm driving to the airport, I stop at Dairy Queen because I want some ice cream. They put tons of strawberries in my ice cream, and it's really good.

Friday, September 28, 2007

1) It's Halloween, and I'm visiting some friends who are staying at a really big house in New Orleans, I think. The house is old and kinda creepy, but very cool. We go out walking around the town, and there are lots of other people walking around, too. Some little girl runs up to me and asks me to change her diaper, but I don't know how to, so I'm asking my friends how to do it. Somehow, it gets done and the little girl runs off. I walk down by a bunch of old cars, and some crazy guys come up and start setting them on fire. I don't know whose cars they are, so I walk away. I end up back at the house and all the furniture is flying around and there's a big, blue snake everyone's afraid of. The girl that owns the house comes in and tries to get the snake to calm down, and it bites her, but she doesn't seem to care.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

1) I get a new jeep and I drive it onto base to the gym, which is now combined with the library. These two girls have just gotten out of the shower. They have their clothes on, but they're both still dripping wet and walking around the library getting water on all the books. When I leave, I notice the driver's-side door is almost off the hinges, and there's a bullet hole in the side near the gas tank. Some guy is with me, and he tells me I shouldn't be taking my dog everywhere because that makes people mad.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

1) I'm in a hotel room with a really hot girl (my wife?), and we're looking out the window watching the sunset behind the mountains. The clouds make the mountain look like a volcano. We look over at the next mountain and it really is a volcano erupting, and two big planes come out of it. I tell the girl they're Transformers, but she doesn't believe me. We walk into the parking lot, and Optimus Prime rolls by and transforms and runs away. We start to panic and pack all our bags. I'm trying to pack really practical things, but she's worried about returning DVDs we rented on time. We run out of the hotel and go into a big office building which turns out to be a hologram and the walls are made of ammonia. We get separated and I follow this big, muscle guy to the gym. We run on a treadmill for a while, then go to his apartment, which we have to climb a ladder to get to and doesn't have a roof. There's another really hot girl there sunbathing, and we sit up there for a while. Tons of people are camped out all over waiting to see when the Transformers are going to attack, and every time we feel an earthquake, people start screaming and running. We climb down from his apartment, and I'm trying to find a good spot to hide out, deciding that I need to get out of the city. I run short sprints, tuck and roll, and take cover behind small hills. I'm slowly making my way out, but I don't think I'm gonna make it out of the city before they attack.

Monday, September 10, 2007

1) I'm on a big road trip across the country. I stop and get gas somewhere in the south, and the lady working the register is really nice and has a thick accent. I pull out my wallet and can't find my credit card. I assume I left it at the last place I got gas, which was 300 miles earlier. As I'm standing at the counter wondering what to do, David Wilhelm walks up next to me. I start laughing and give him a big hug, but he acts like it's no big deal and shrugs. I somehow get to where I'm going and I'm looking at a bunch of really big, old houses with Jim Greenleaf and another guy. We're thinking about buying one and fixing it up. This real estate guy comes up and tells us what we can and can't do because it's a historic district. Then he tells us McDonalds already owns a parcel of land right next to one of the houses, and they're gonna put a big restaurant there.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

1) I get a second job at Macaroni Grill. It's my first day there, and I'm really nervous. Floyd is working there, too, and I'm hoping he'll show me the ropes. I'm walking around barefoot, and the manager tells me I have to wear shoes. I don't have any socks, so I put plastic bags on my feet before putting my shoes on. We're having a little waiter's meeting before the restaurant opens, and then everyone goes outside. I get there, and they're all in a garden picking strawberries. I start crawling through the garden looking for strawberries, and I'm thinking I should have brought other clothes so these don't get dirty. I get to the end of the garden, and there's a big mall with a Banana Republic inside. I walk in the door and think about quitting the Macaroni Grill because I'd rather work (and shop) at Banana Republic all day. And I might not even have to wear shoes.

2) I'm at the house in Morganfield, and Big Kyle and Lil Ryan are visiting with me. My family is running around all crazy and trying to get ready for Church, but the three of us are just sitting around watching television. I go back to my room (which looks like my room in my apartment), and Ryan follows me back asking if I have any Crown Royal. I have some, but I haven't opened the bottle yet. I tell him I'll look to see if my parents have any in their liquor cabinet. I go into the kitchen, and John Mumme is there carving a big turkey. I'm trying to get around him so I can check the liquor cabinet and I don't want to disturb him and make him cut himself. I sneak around him, and check the liquor cabinet, but there's no Crown Royal. I tell Ryan he's out of luck. I go back to my room and get ready to take a shower. I'm standing there in my underwear, and Kyle comes in. I put my t-shirt back on, and he keeps asking me where my alcohol is.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

1) I'm living back at the house in Morganfield, and MItt Romney is coming over to stay with us for a while. My parents are very excited, and they try to get me to build a big lamp to celebrate. I'm putting together this big glass lamp, and it has one big light on top with several smaller lights inside. People keep asking me how it's coming along, and all it does is frustrate me. Mitt arrives, and the lamp still isn't done. The Gamblins come over and my Mom has just gotten out of the shower and she's cooking dinner, too. Dad is angry with me because the lamp isn't finished. I finally get to where I think I'm done, and I plug the lamp in, but it keeps flickering on and off. I'm so angry and MItt is standing right behind me.

2) I'm in a big city with Nick Fuoss, and we decide to go to a free community breakfast. We're going through the line talking, and all he gets on his plate is a bunch of sausage and bacon. I ask for french toast. As we're walking around trying to find a seat, I see Jim Sullivan and I start talking with him. I don't see Nicole anywhere, and I'm just about to ask Jim where she is, and he turns around and sits down with some people I don't know. Nick sits at a table that's already full, so I go and sit at a table with only one other girl. She's dressed completely in black and her hair is all messy. I ask if it's okay if I sit there, and she's very nice. Another girl comes and sits next to me. We have a nice conversation about society and the different types of people that come to free meals like this one.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

1) I'm dating a girl who lives above a garage behind an old lady's house. It's not a great building, but the apartment is nice. One day, we're making dinner and a couple guys in pickup trucks start driving through the trailer park next door. They start ramming into trailers and trying to kill people. They end up killing a little baby. They stop their trucks and start walking around. I walk down and grab a big piece of wood. I yell at them to go away and start hitting them with the log. I hit their trucks and break out one of the windshields. They drive away, and I go over to see how the lady with the baby is.

2) I'm in the middle of a military exercise. We're all in our gear in the middle of the play area, and a big storm comes in. The rain is coming down and the wind is really strong. It picks me up and throws me into the side of a building. I get up and everyone is running around. I take my gear off, and run for shelter. The storm stops and the Chief tells us to go home. My gear is laying in the mud, but they tell us to leave it there because there are mudslides. I jump into a truck with Abe Garcia, and he has to drive through this really narrow passageway. He gets to the end and there are a bunch of chlorine cylinders there and he can't get around them. MSgt Frey is there, and Abe starts yelling at Frey to get the chlorine out of the way. I get out of the truck and tell Frey that the chlorine isn't authorized to be in this building and the whole system isn't set up right anyway. Frey gets really flustered and he keeps waving his arms around and stuttering.

Friday, August 31, 2007

1) I'm deployed to a third world country in the mid-east, and some of us are walking around outside the wire. They have some strange custom where every man has to keep his hands over his crotch when in public, so all of us are walking around holding our junk. We're walking through a little village made of tents, and whenever we pass a female, they giggle and stare. We stop inside a tent and start talking. I pull out some bourbon from my backpack, but we don't have any glasses. I go back to base to see if I can grab some from the gate guards. There are a bunch of readiness people guarding the gate, and they make me give them my alcohol, but luckily, I have some extra stashed that they don't see.

2) I'm at a party with a bunch of people from college, and all three girls I dated in college are there. I'm feeling kinda awkward, but I talk to all three of them and they're really cool. One of my music professors is there, too, and I have to give a big introduction before his speech. I'm nervous and worried if I'm going to get all the details of his life right, but I do. I want to get a picture with all my ex-girlfriends, and I start talking to Anna (girlfriend number two), and she wants to kiss me again, even though her husband (and one of my good friends from college) is sitting right next to her. I do anyway, and it's not weird or anything. After dinner, there's a big fashion show, and all these models are walking down the runway in really crazy, futuristic outfits made of metal. One of them comes down and pulls me up on stage and pretends to shoot me with her ray gun, so I play dead and fall on the floor. While I'm laying there, I overhear some guy talking about how he works in the porn industry, and I'm trying to listen without being obvious.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

1) I'm visiting Garah, and we're out drinking with a couple of her friends from medical school one night. We want to go home and the guy who's driving is really drunk, but we don't care and get in anyway. He starts driving really erratically, and even clips a couple other cars, but we just keep going. We get pulled over by a cop, and the driver guy gets arrested. Garah and I somehow end up back at her house. We wake up the next morning, and she gives me a tour of her new house that she just bought. It's really amazing and it's on the coast of one of some Greek island. It's kinda messy, and she apologises for her kids leaving toys all over the place. Jon is out of town on business, and she's not sure when he's supposed to get home. The cleaning lady arrives, and I tell Garah I need to leave because I have to work the next day.

2) I'm visiting home and I'm supposed to be playing piano for the Church service. I'm sitting at the bench, and I see my Mom is playing the organ. It's time for the first hymn ("Worthy of Worship"), and when I open up the hymnal, the page for that hymn has been ripped out. I start looking around for another hymnal, but the only one in the piano bench is outdated and doesn't have that hymn. Meanwhile, Mom has started playing and everyone is singing and starting at me wondering why I'm not playing. I look around and see Jeremiah Case sitting in the pew closest to me. I get his attention, and I"m trying to whisper to him to hand me a hymnal out of the pew, but he doesn't understand what I'm saying. Finally, he hands me a hymnal and I open up to the right page. The notes are different from how I remember playing them when I was younger, but I give it a try anyway. I'm only playing a few notes from each measure, but it sounds good enough, and I'm just hoping it's over soon.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

1) I'm going to Mormon church with someone, and the service is held in a classroom and it's very informal. I have two bottles of water that were given to me by Reese with me, and right before the service starts, my phone rings. It's Reese, and she wants to know if I got the water she sent. I assure her I did, but I have to go because the service is starting. When I get off the phone, I find the bishop has taken my bottles of water and is trying to give them away. He looks at me, and I guess I'm sweating heavily because he says I look like I need some water. After the service, I'm walking around outside, and everyone is talking and getting into their cars and stuff. A little boy starts talking to me about how Salt Lake City is laid out and the different townships and stuff. His Mom comes along, and she looks exactly like Garah. She's got a little dress and sunglasses on, and I can't stop staring at her. She's talking about her husband, Trent, and then she takes off her sunglasses, and I realise she's Asian. Everyone drives away, and I'm standing by the street wondering if the person who brought me will take me home.

Monday, August 20, 2007

1) My Dad and I are in this old abandoned building, and we find all these old papers having to do with the World Trade Center. We start looking through them and think we might have solved some mysteries having to do with 9/11. It starts to get really late, and there are a few other people wandering around the building, so we hide all our research and decide to go home for the evening. I get on a motorcycle and ride it through the building and down the stairs. I'm riding outside when I see some people I know. I stop to talk to them. There's an overpass above us, and we see a car wreck on the overpass, and there are two people in a red Mustang, and the Mustang falls off the overpass. The people inside get thrown out and everyone rushes over. I call 911 and start yelling at everyone not to move anyone, just to see if they're breathing. Jerrilynn Bender is there in a minivan, and she tells me to get in so we can go home.

2) I'm at home talking with Garah, and she's telling me about being a doctor and showing me her cell phone. I decide to quit the military and go back to school so I can be a doctor, too. I'm walking around the hospital with Garah, and we go into this cancer research room and it's really cold. There are a bunch of ladies in there gossiping.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

1) I'm in France with a big group of people, but we get separated and I'm trying to get around. I find myself in the middle of the country, and I've been to the airport, so I'm trying to find a taxi to get me back to our hotel. I see Jack and Meg White get out of a taxi and they speak French, so I'm asking them how to ask the cab driver to get back to the hotel, but they just tell me how to get back to the airport. I end upriding around with my Aunt Karen and her family. She tells me she wants to have another baby. I somehow end up in Paris, and I'm walking around the city, looking for different delis and boutiques. Some strange man is following me. I see my parents walking down the street, and ask why they didn't tell me they were in town. I find out that I'm in the middle of some weird art-house film, and they guy following me is supposed to represent something out of my past. I try to catch a bus, but they won't let me on the bus because it's only for handicapped people on horseback. I start riding around on a scooter, and chasing the guy who was following me. A big parade comes over the hill, and the guy gets set on fire. I find a computer and look up the movie I'm in on Wikipedia so I can find out what it's all supposed to mean, but the Wikipedia page is really long and I'm too lazy to read it all.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

1) I'm back in Japan (?) and Chaplain Tims is going to start another worship service at Church at he wants me to play the piano for it. He gives me a big list of songs, but I don't really have anywhere to practice them. Leigh tells me I can go upstairs at the library and practice. I grab all the song books and head upstairs, seeing my Mom along the way. I have to pass by this really hot girl who hosts a trivia radio show. I make small talk with her before ascending the staircase. She says she's getting ready to leave, but to make sure everything is locked up before I go.

2) I'm back in college, and I'm hanging out with a bunch of people, most of whom are sorority girls. We're watching a pro basketball game, and everyone is debating on who will win. One of them has a video camera and has taken a lot of footage of everyone in the group. We're watching it and trying to decide which part is the most embarrassing. Most of the footage of me consists of me singing or lip syncing to really bad songs. One of the guys in the group pulls me aside and asks if I've heard any rumours about him and a girl from the group having sex, and if I have, I need to say they aren't true.

Monday, August 13, 2007

1) I'm standing on top of a submarine but it's getting ready to launch, and I jump onto the dock just before it submerges. I walk into the town and I see this really hot black girl, so I start talking to her. She's got diabetes and she keeps giving herself insulin shots in her fingernails. I ask if I can borrow one of the shots, because my truck is making a funny noise and I think the insulin will stop it. I take the syringe and look for a good place to inject it into my truck. I end up putting it in the area right between the windshield and the passenger-side door. I walk the girl back to her apartment, which is right below mine. We start talking about gas stations. I go up to my apartment and I'm fumbling for my keys because I think I'm being followed and I'm really nervous. I finally get inside my apartment and there are two people sleeping on the floor. I'm not sure if I should wake them or not.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

1) I'm at work, and we get attacked by the Decepticons. We're all running all over the place and hiding in closets and stuff. I get abducted by some scientists and they make me eat this pill that turns me into a Transformer. I'm back to running around with everyone else again, but I don't want anyone else to know I can transform. I'm waiting to find something really good to transform into so I can kill all the Decepticons.

2) I'm in Japan, and I get pulled over by some cops, but they're American. I go back to the station with them. They ask if I can get coffee for them, so I call McDonalds and ask if they can have three coffees ready for me when I get there. They tell me the coffee will be ready at McDonalds #4, so I have to look on a map to see where that is. It ends up being right across from the police station, so I decide to walk. I get there, and the Japanese lady tells me it will be 6,000 yen, so I ask if it's any cheaper without cream. She says it will be 2,000 yen, so I give her the money, and go back to the police station.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

1) I'm swimming across the Ohio River between the bridges near my house. I'm almost to the other side, and I catch up with another guy who's also swimming. He sees me catching up to him and tries to swim faster, so I swim faster and beat him to the other side. When I get to the bank, I walk up and see a couple EOD guys from my squadron getting ready to go cliff jumping. I say hi to them and keep walking. I get back to where my phone is, and I have a voicemail from one of the EOD guys inviting me to a party that night. I go back down and start talking to them. I start talking to them about EOD stuff, and I'm starting to think I sound like an idiot. They get an emergency call, and start packing up all their stuff to leave. I tell them not to tease me, or I won't come to their party.

Friday, July 06, 2007

1) Lil' Ryan and I are in a boat on a lake riding around and swimming. We get out of the boat and go into a small town whose local high school is having a big football game. We're walking around and see a short school bus sitting on the side of the road. We get in and start riding around. Things start getting crazy, and we end up speeding through the middle of the stadium. We don't hit anyone, but we somehow end up on the upper level and jump off the side. We drive far away and abandon the bus, then walk back to the schoolyard to see what people are saying. The cops are everywhere looking for us, so I tell Ryan we should turn ourselves in. Ryan doesn't want to, but I tell him our fingerprints are all over the bus and they'll find us eventually. We walk up to one of the investigators and I tell him we're responsible for the school bus thing, but he doesn't seem very angry. He starts asking us a bunch of questions, and I can tell Ryan is really nervous. I'm wondering if the detective guy is gonna put us in jail.

2) I'm in the shoppette on base, and the girl behind the counter is really cute, so I keep buying more stuff because I want to talk to her. I end up buying a PlayStation 2.

3) I'm in some kind of horror movie about a little girl who sees things under her bed. She keeps screaming and all the stuff in her room is moving around. But the only thing under her bed is Uma Thurman, who is the little girl, but all grown up. There's also another girl there who's the teenage version of the girl. Some guy comes along and wants to be Uma's boyfriend. They go riding in a horse-drawn cart, and the little girl is trying to get Uma not to go. They go riding along a wooded path and it's very scenic.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

1) I'm out doing the water route and there are some other guys in my shop following in another truck. I decide to stop by my Grandparents' house to get something to drink. I go inside, but there isn't anyone around. I decide to change clothes, so I'm walking around in my underwear looking for some other clothes that I might have left there another time. I hear my Grandmother say something, so I go into their room and she is sitting on the sofa in there. She had been sleeping, and she asks if I want to see the infant she's babysitting. She goes to pick her up, but it's just a doll. I go outside, and there are all these people in the yard playing softball. Then a construction crew shows up, and my Grandmother doesn't know what they're supposed to be working on. Then a couple Mormon missionaries show up, and I'm thinking they're happy because they just hit the jackpot.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

1) I'm on a road trip with my parents and my Mom's side of the family. We stop at some kind of rest area/amusement park to use the restroom, and end up walking around for a long time. After I use the bathroom, I play a couple rounds of ski-ball, but every time I'm about to toss the ball, somebody walks right in front of me. And every time I play a game, I fell really dirty so I want to go wash my hands afterward, but the restroom keeps changing location.

2) I'm watching a little league baseball game, and I down the road and a bunch of people are running toward the baseball park and screaming. I start running, too, and take shelter inside a random house. It gets really hot, and suddenly, everything feels really spongey, including the ground and the walls. I huddle behind a wall in some shade along with a couple other people. There's a big flash of light and suddenly everything is back to normal. We walk out of the house, but everyone who wasn't in the shade has turned into ash. There are a few other people walking around, and I see a lady who was mostly in the shade, but her feet were sticking out, so she doesn't have any feet. I pick her up and carry her to the hospital.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

1) I'm deployed and one night, I go to the gym and I'm playing tennis with a couple people and it's really fun. After we finish, we have to turn in our tennis racquets so we're waiting in line at the equipment desk, and I see Sophia Coppola and I tell my friends how gorgeous I think she is, but I think she's with her husband so I don't want to say it too loud.

2) I'm going diving in some big, underground tank with Dad and Chris. Mom is waiting outside the tank. We're supposed to be investigating or repairing something, but I'm not sure what. I come back up and Mom and I go for a quick drive. I go back to the tank and I notice that I have my suede shoes on, but I have to wear them anyway. After we get out, we're sitting in the living room and Bruce Willis is there. He's all excited about his movie coming out, and in my head, I'm thinking he's not that great of an actor and he's made some pretty stinky movies in his day.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

1) I wake up in a dark closet, open the door, and walk into a room with all the curtains drawn. I start talking to a girl who tells me to be really quiet. We walk outside, where it's before sunrise, and meet up with about ten other people. We get in an old, beat up van, and start driving really slowly. We're picking up a few others along the way. I slowly realise that there are zombies everywhere, and as long as we move really slowly, they won't recognize that we aren't zombies. We get to a big church, and we have people all over pulling guard duty. Plus, there are people outside acting as decoys, in case the zombies catch on. We're trying to have a worship service inside, but we can't be too loud, or the zombies will attack.
*I've had this dream, or some form of it, before.

Monday, June 11, 2007

1) I'm working at Gap, and after I get off, I'm walking down the mall. I see a new store, so I go inside. They have a bunch of cool t-shirts, so I'm looking around and thinking about buying one, but I can't find one I really, really like. I leave and keep walking toward the exit where I'm parked. When I get to the door, I look down and realise I don't have any shoes on. I don't want to walk through the parking lot barefoot, but I can't remember where I left my shoes, or even when I took them off. I walk through the parking lot and I'm looking for my Mom's car. I start hitting the buttons on the keychain so her lights will flash. I find her car, and Garcia, my first troop, is sitting in the driver's seat, waiting for me. I get in and it's kind of awkward, but I try to make small talk.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

1) I'm on a big trip with a bunch of people in a big city overseas. We're staying at some hotel downtown, but we mostly hang out in the street outside. A bunch of the people are smoking pot, and they keep offering me some, but I politely decline. I walk down the street to some random shops. I keep passing by a certain one I want to go inside, but it's closed. Finally, I pass by and it's open, but there are a bunch of old ladies inside taking some kind of knitting class or something. I go back toward the hotel and everyone is still hanging out outside. Someone passes me a joint and I take a few hits, all the while praying I don't get tested when I get back to work.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

1) I'm in the chow hall, and I'm hungry, but I can't really find anything I'm craving to eat. I start talking to the lady behind the counter, and she says she's surprised I'm not playing in the exercise this week. I start freaking out because I haven't heard of any exercises going on, and maybe I'm missing something or I'm gonna get in trouble because I'm not where I'm supposed to be. Then I see the salad bar, so I head toward it, and I look out the window to see everyone running around in all their gear. I figure if they're not looking for me by now, then I'm probably not supposed to be playing anyway.

Friday, June 01, 2007

1) I'm in Garah's old backyard, and I'm looking down into the pool. It's kinda dirty, and I'm thinking it's not like Bill to let the pool get nasty like that. Everyone gets up to leave and we go out into this field. There's bleachers set up on the sides, and it looks like there's going to be a concert. Madonna comes out and starts dancing around and singing. She grabs me and a bunch of other people to start dancing with her. I'm wanting to get all up Madonna and grind and stuff, but I don't want her to think I'm psycho, so I wait until she gets back over to me. After the show, we're going to a hotel, but I can't find my ID to check in. I sneak past the desk and get into a room, but then I can't find the case my contacts are in.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

1) I'm at work, and my boss tells me I'm going to get orders to a guard base in Hawaii, and everyone else in the shop is getting orders to the main base on Hawaii. I'm really excited, and I'm not sure who to tell first. I start thinking in my head how I'm going to write this on my blog. I call my Dad and start to tell him, but I stop because I'd rather tell him and Mom at the same time, plus I feel some strange obligation to write it on my blog first, too, knowing that my parents won't read it. So I tell my Dad that I'm coming home right after work that night. He's really silent on the phone for a minute, so I know he knows something's up, but I'm now sure if he knows exactly what.

Friday, May 18, 2007

1) I'm a contestant on The Price Is Right, and I'm on stage, but Bob Barker has already left the show and they new guy they hired is a real asshole. He's really messed up on drugs and he's stumbling around the stage groping the models and screaming random things. A door opens up and Nick from my shop comes out. He's just wearing pants and he's drunk and he can barely stand. The models are all trying to hold him up, and he pulls out his penis and starts waving it around. It's got a really funny shape to it and I can't stop staring at it. He keeps saying, "It's good for the ladies!" over and over.

Friday, May 11, 2007

1) I'm TDY in Texas, I think, and a bunch of us are driving around looking for somewhere to go to breakfast. We're in a huge SUV that the Air Force has given us for the duration of the trip. I'm driving, and everyone is giving me directions to different places, but I can't understand anyone because they're all yelling. We're getting on a freeway, and as we do, I see some guy driving the wrong way in a green Jeep. I point it out to everyone, but everyone disagrees with me, saying the Jeep isn't green. Someone hands me a piece of bacon, and without thinking about it, I start eating it. I'd forgotten what bacon tasted like, and it's making me nauseated, but I'm eating it anyway.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

1) I'm living in a house with six or seven other people, and during the day, we have Bible lessons and prayer sessions. But at night, all kinds of supernatural and paranormal things happen. There are loud noises and we see ghosts and stuff that's really scary. We know it's going to happen every night, but we want to see what's going to be different. One day, we all leave the house to go water skiing at a nearby lake. I'm skiing behind the boat, and the water is really choppy so I keep falling down. A lifeguard comes out and tells us we can't ski anymore because the water is too rough. But it makes me really angry and I tell him it's a free country. The boat comes back around to pick me up and I start skiing again. I look over and see the lifeguard and he's really angry.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

1) I'm driving out in the country, and I come across a small town in the mountains and decide to get some food. I walk toward an outdoor cafe, but decide to cross a bridge to a little general store. I walk inside and there are three really hot girls and one ugly one. The three hot girls are making out with each other, and the ugly one walks toward me. I start calling out to the three hot ones, but they ignore me. I walk outside, and the ugly one follows me. I look up in the sky and I can see the moon. I see something happening on the surface of the moon, but I can't focus very well. All of the sudden, the moon explodes. The first thing I think is that I need to get to work. I start running for my truck, but then there's a big earthquake and I keep falling down. I grab my phone and start calling my parents.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

1) I'm sitting in my shop, and this guy comes up behind me and gives me a piece of paper. It's a set of orders and written in blue ink on the front is "Robins Air Force Base, Georgia." I turn around and look at him, and he smiles, and I scream, "Noooooo!"

Monday, April 09, 2007

1) I'm living in a basement apartment in a big city. I have to get up really early every morning for work, and Jeni-Bomb always comes by so we can have breakfast together. One morning, she says she's going to bring Ben along, too. Before they get there, I decide I'm too hungry to wait, and I cook up some kind of vegetable concoction on my stove, but I don't want them to think I've eaten before they arrive, so I put in in tupperware and put it in the refrigerator. I go outside, and it's barely light enough to see, and I think there's a strange man watching me, and I get creeped out and go back inside to wait for Jeni and Ben.

Monday, April 02, 2007

1) I'm in my truck driving back to work after lunch, and I see some people having a party in a garage. They're dancing around and trying to get people to honk, so I do. I stop my truck just to say hi and see why they are partying. I start talking to them and I go inside the garage for a minute. The next thing I know, it's nighttime and I'm back inside my truck. I'm kinda freaking out and I'm not feeling well. I start to back up and drive the rest of the way to work, but a cop pulls up behind me. The cop is Janeane Garofalo and she starts asking me all kinds of questions about where I've been. I can't remember anything, and I think I've been drugged or something. I'm trying to explain everything, but she won't listen. She makes me get in the back of her patrol car, and she drops me off at the house in Morganfield. I'm worried about what work is going to do, because I've probably been AWOL.

2) I'm in Army basic training with a bunch of other guys. We're all brand new and in formation inside a big room. The training instructors are all walking around and yelling at us, and I'm just trying to fit in and do what everyone else is doing. They start going down the rows asking us questions one by one. We're supposed to answer with something specific, but since everyone is screaming, I don't know what we're supposed to say. Eventually, I'm the last one left, and there's a female instructor asking me these questions. I just look straight ahead and don't say anything. She asks if I know what I'm supposed to say, and I tell her no. She smiles and tells me she's going to give me some remedial training.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

1) I'm in Morganfield and we've all just been told there's going to be a nuclear war. Everyone is panicking, but I'm not sure how to take it. There are tons of planes in the air. Everyone in town is walking toward the park, but I don't recall any bunkers there. I'm trying to make jokes about the situation, because there really isn't much else we can do. We get to some kind of camp and I'm going to take a shower. I'm a little embarrassed because my shower doesn't have a door on it, so everyone walking by is watching me. I go back outside and meet all kinds of new people. We later find out we're on a television show that concentrates on seven people and everyone watching the show is supposed to say which characted handled the situation best. I'm wondering if I was one of the seven characters and if I handled the situation well.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

1) For some reason, I'm staying with this family I don't know. The parents are really nice, and they have two daughters who like to get into trouble. One morning, I'm in the bathroom putting on my uniform, and the older daughter walks in and starts talking to me. It's making me uncomfortable because I'm half-naked, but she doesn't seem to care. Both daughters and I go to the store to pick up some groceries. On the way home, we stop in this big field to talk to their boyfriends. There's a big marsh in the middle of the field and these strange plants are growing there. On the plants are these big brown and yellow bugs that keep pooping all over the place. We go back to their house, and the parents are talking and the older daughter is paranoid because she's pregnant and doesn't want her parents to find out. Suddenly, everyone breaks into song and it's like a big broadway musical and we're all on stage singing and dancing around. I'm just trying to get off the stage because I don't know any of the songs or dance numbers.

Friday, March 30, 2007

1) I'm visiting Don and Jessi, who have a new baby. I go to church with them, and I think it's Easter Sunday, but there aren't a lot of people there because it's a really small church. Kasey is there, and we're both playing with the baby. After church, Kasey asks if I want any of the furniture because they're trying to get rid of some of it. There's a bunch of really cool stuff like chaise lounges and love seats. I want a few pieces, so I try to make room in my truck. Kasey picks up this huge sofa and hauls it all the way to my truck, and somehow, it fits.

Monday, March 26, 2007

1) I'm TDY and Mom and my brother are with me. Every morning we drive to work and I have to change into my uniform in a locker room. I leave my backpack in the locker room without locking it up, but Mom tells me to start taking my iPod out and bringing it with me to work. We walk all over the base but I'm not really sure what our job is. It's always overcast and rainy. Toward the end of our trip, we go to this big cookout, but there aren't a lot of people there.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

1) I'm working some weird job where all I have to do is wash trucks and equipment all day. I'm at one place where I'm washing a big machine, and Garah is running it. I don't know what it does, and she tries to explain it to me, but it doesn't make any sense. We start talking about stuff we did when we were kids. I go back to the main factory, and some kind of wild animal has gotten loose inside, and everyone is scared. I go into the break room, and a bunch of my friends from japan are in there. They tell me that Aleric is going to come over, so I decide to wait around so I can talk to him. But when he gets there, he acts like he doesn't know who I am.

Monday, March 19, 2007

1) I'm a roadie for Sleater-Kinney, and we're setting up for a show in a hotel room. There are all kinds of boxes everywhere, and I'm not sure what goes where, so I'm asking a lot of questions. Carrie has shaved her head, and she's asking me to help out with the sound check, but one of the roadies asked me to put up a bunch of Christmas decorations. Carrie says the sound check is more important than the decorations and they're behind schedule and, plus, she's the boss. I go to tell the other guy I'm gonna help Carrie with the sound check.

Monday, March 12, 2007

1) I'm back at the house in Morganfield. I'm taking a shower one morning, and when I get out, there are a lot of people in my bathroom just staring at me. I have a towel around my waist, and I'm trying to put my underwear on without dropping my towel. Jean-Marie is laughing at me. I leave my bathroom and go into my bedroom, and now everyone is in there. I'm fixing my hair and stuff, and they're all having a good time and laughing. I go into the kitchen to make some oatmeal, but my Mom is using the microwave. Somehow some oil has gotten into my oatmeal, and I'm trying to spoon it out. I'm getting impatient with my Mom because I really need to cook my oatmeal. Plus, I want to go talk to everyone in my bedroom.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

1) I'm a little kid again, and I'm at home eating a sandwich for lunch. My Mom is frustrated because the only thing I'll ever eat is bologna. We're all watching television, and there are a bunch of old ladies on some show talking about Vietnam. I start crying because I feel bad about my Dad and all the friends he lost over there. My brother walks over and gives me a hug. My Mom makes me a cheese sandwich and I eat the whole thing.

Friday, March 09, 2007

1) I get deployed to Guatemala, and when we get there, they tell us there are too many of us, so half are going to get sent back home. I volunteer to stay, even though the people who get sent home get $50. They're asking everyone in the squadron if they want to stay, and I'm really hoping this guy I work with wants to go home because he talks way too much and I don't want to have to work with him. But he decides to stay, but I'm not bothered because George Clooney is deployed with us, and he decides to stay, too. Those of us who stay are getting issued all kinds of food rations, so I'm carrying all my gear across the camp, trying to find my tent. I try to remember where we stayed last time I was in Guatemala, but I get to the end of the camp, and I still haven't found it, so I turn around and head to the other side.

Friday, February 23, 2007

1) I deploy, and we get to our site and start setting up a camp made mostly of collabsible trailers. We finish setting up camp, and I realise we're near a site where Dan is deployed, as well. I go find Dan and we hang out for a while. It gets dark, and I'm trying desperately to find my way back to my quarters. The next morning, I throw on civilian clothes to go find Dan. I say hi to him, but can't stay long because we have to tear down camp. I go back to my area, and find that they've already torn down the trailers, but I can't find any of my stuff anywhere, and I need my uniform so I can start digging trenches. I find the rest of my squadron, who are working on digging a well, and ask if they know anything about where everyone's personal stuff is. They tell me that it's packed up in an ISO box. I figure I'll just worry about it later and start helping on the well.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

1) I'm on vacation in London with my family, and we're staying at this really nice hotel. One day, we go outside and get on a big tourbus, but the bus goes way too fast to see any real sights. Plus, the driver is weaving back and forth across the road, and we're all getting nauseated. I catch a glimpse of a big church, and ask my brother if it's Westminster Abbey. We get back to the hotel, and I'm laying on the floor. My Mom keeps coming in and asking if I'm okay, but I just want to get some sleep.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

1) I'm in a school building hanging out with people with whom I went through grade school. June White is there, and we're talking about how her Mom used to always bring in cookies on Fridays. We all go outside, and everyone is in a panic. A big bus comes along, and we all get on. My parents find me, and we ride this overcrowded bus together for a while. I look out over the city and see all these little explosions going off, but they're not like regular firey explosions. They're like little white bubbles popping all over the place. The bus stops at the top of a big hill, and we all get out and climb down this rocky slope. We end up in the middle of a bunch of wooden shacks, looking for a safe place. The bus driver leads us to one house where we go inside, and his Mom is there.

Friday, February 16, 2007

1) I'm deployed, and I'm walking around base with some friends. We find an old, abandoned bunker with a movie projector inside. Me and one guy start watching a movie in the bunker, but the other guy doesn't want to go inside, so he stays outside. After watching the movie for a while, I get up and crawl out of the hatch. I'm talking to my friend outside, when suddenly a huge explosion goes off inside the bunker. I look down inside, and all I see is the ashes of the guy who stayed down there. I wonder what prompted me to get up and leave when I did.

2) I go into a Cingular store to get the new Apple iPhone. They don't have a lot of advertisements for it, and I keep trying to get a sales clerk to help me, but they're all busy. I finally find one, and as soon as I pick it up, a sales guy starts asking me questions about it. I decide to buy it. I walk out of the store, and I'm in San Diego. I'm walking along the beach, and there are tons of people there. There's also a bunch of marine life, like walruses and whales and stuff right in the water. This guy says he's from the zoo, and that he wants everyone to start playing with the animals. I start wrestling around with a seal, but I don't want to get my phone wet, so I keep walking toward the city. I'm walking through an inlet, and suddenly there's a big earthquake, and this big wall comes up from underground. I'm riding on top of the wall, but there are people still on the ground that are getting crushed. Eventually, the wall goes back underground. I start running into the city, and I find myself at the top of a huge building. Spider-man is up there, and he's about to fall over the edge, and at the last minute, something stops him. I turn around and my parents and my brother are there, and these Japanese people want to take our picture.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

1) I'm at my Grandparents' house for Christmas and everyone has opened their presents. My brother got a new snowmobile, and he lets me take it for a ride. I get back and he's really drunk and there are beer bottles all over the place. We leave and go to some big house party, and this girl there asks me if I'm hungry. She gives me a pill and tells me to give her twenty bucks. I take the pill and we all start hallucinating. I want to go back to my Grandparents' house, so we get in my car. As we're driving down the road, all the other cars start transforming into robots. I know I'm hallucinating and that it isn't real, but I get really scared because I'm thinking all the robots are chasing us. I start hitting all these random buttons in the car, and then my car goes invisible. We take this dirt road off to the side in hopes of evading all the robots. When we re-appear, my car doesn't look anything like it did before. We get back to my Grandparents' house, and there's a big party going on and all the girls from the other party are there, and they're taking their clothes off. There's a really hot girl in a bikini, and I start licking her belly-button.

Friday, February 02, 2007

1) I'm in the desert, and I'm hanging out in my shop, which is actually a tent. I don't know any of the other people there, but we're laughing and tossing around the football. We hear a bunch of people talking outside, so we walk out and there are a bunch of flightline workers out there staring off in the distance. We look out onto the horizon and there is a huge storm headed our way, with lots of dark clouds and lightning and, like, three tornadoes. Everyone starts freaking out wondering if we should take cover inside the tent or if we have time to head back to main base, but I just stare at the big storm.

Monday, January 29, 2007

1) I'm going TDY to Japan, and we travel over there by boat. It's raining the whole time, and even after we get there, it's still raining. We're trying to figure out our mission, and I think there's some kind of competition going on. George Bush is supposed to visit while we're there, so security is really tight. We're all getting a briefing in the theatre, and the lights go out. We can hear the rain coming down outside, and I'm really creeped out. I get up and go outside, and it's still raining.

2) I'm visiting my cousins in South Carolina, and I find a box of all my old Transformers up in their attic. I get them out and start playing with them.

3) Some guy and I are going to see Gwen Stefani in concert. We get to the venue really early, and it's all general admission, so we get a really good seat in the front. There's a big fence along the side of the stage, and we sit next to it. The guy goes to get something to drink, and while he's gone, Gwen is on the stage rehearsing. She comes right next to me, and I smile at her. She says, "Thanks for coming," and continues rehearsing. When the guy gets back, I tell him that Gwen talked to me, but he doesn't believe me.

Friday, January 26, 2007

1) I'm in the desert, and I hear we're going to get forward deployed to another base. I go back to my room, which is in a huge barracks with a bunch of bunk beds, and I start packing all my stuff. I see Nick and a few other guys, and they're already taking their stuff to the drop-off point. We have several hours before we're supposed to be there, so I go to the other side of the base because Gwen Stefani is performing a USO show. I'm backstage, and Gwen is singing, and she brings me out on stage, so I start dancing around with her for the whole song. I don't want to look like an idiot, so I leave the stage after the song. I'm talking to some old civilian man afterward, and Gwen comes back there, and she smiles at me, but that's it. I go back to my barracks and grab my stuff. There are some other guys there, as well, and I ask if they want a ride to the drop-off point. I start thinking that maybe I should have taken a shower before we get on the plane.