1) I'm deployed and one night, I go to the gym and I'm playing tennis with a couple people and it's really fun. After we finish, we have to turn in our tennis racquets so we're waiting in line at the equipment desk, and I see Sophia Coppola and I tell my friends how gorgeous I think she is, but I think she's with her husband so I don't want to say it too loud.

2) I'm going diving in some big, underground tank with Dad and Chris. Mom is waiting outside the tank. We're supposed to be investigating or repairing something, but I'm not sure what. I come back up and Mom and I go for a quick drive. I go back to the tank and I notice that I have my suede shoes on, but I have to wear them anyway. After we get out, we're sitting in the living room and Bruce Willis is there. He's all excited about his movie coming out, and in my head, I'm thinking he's not that great of an actor and he's made some pretty stinky movies in his day.