Friday, August 31, 2007

1) I'm deployed to a third world country in the mid-east, and some of us are walking around outside the wire. They have some strange custom where every man has to keep his hands over his crotch when in public, so all of us are walking around holding our junk. We're walking through a little village made of tents, and whenever we pass a female, they giggle and stare. We stop inside a tent and start talking. I pull out some bourbon from my backpack, but we don't have any glasses. I go back to base to see if I can grab some from the gate guards. There are a bunch of readiness people guarding the gate, and they make me give them my alcohol, but luckily, I have some extra stashed that they don't see.

2) I'm at a party with a bunch of people from college, and all three girls I dated in college are there. I'm feeling kinda awkward, but I talk to all three of them and they're really cool. One of my music professors is there, too, and I have to give a big introduction before his speech. I'm nervous and worried if I'm going to get all the details of his life right, but I do. I want to get a picture with all my ex-girlfriends, and I start talking to Anna (girlfriend number two), and she wants to kiss me again, even though her husband (and one of my good friends from college) is sitting right next to her. I do anyway, and it's not weird or anything. After dinner, there's a big fashion show, and all these models are walking down the runway in really crazy, futuristic outfits made of metal. One of them comes down and pulls me up on stage and pretends to shoot me with her ray gun, so I play dead and fall on the floor. While I'm laying there, I overhear some guy talking about how he works in the porn industry, and I'm trying to listen without being obvious.

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