Saturday, April 09, 2005
1) I'm walking across the border into Mexico, and I see some guys playing soccer in a park, then I walk down a big hill and up to the passenger side of a black car. The window rolls down, and it's my sister (Ed: I don't have a sister.) in the driver seat and a little girl in the passenger seat. My sister says they are taking a road trip down to Cancun and just stopped to get something to drink. The rear window rolls down and Drew Barrymore is in the back seat with two other little girls. They are drinking lime slushies. I start talking to Drew and she offers me a drink of her lime slushie, so I drink some because it's really hot. I start flirting with Drew, and then she mentions her boyfriend is one of the guys playing soccer at the top of the hill, but she doesn't sound too pleased with him, so I keep flirting. Eventually, they say they need to get going, so they leave and I start walking back to the top of the hill, but some Mexican army guy grabs my arm and stops me. I start fighting him and punching him, and I'm surprised he's really easy to beat up. He starts chasing me up the hill, and we stop every few feet and fist fight some more. Every time I knock him down, though, he gets back up and catches up with me. We get to the top of the hill, and some guy I can't see starts shooting at me with a machine gun, so I use the army guy as a human shield to make my way back across the border. Once I'm on the American side, I'm perfectly safe again.