1) It's Halloween and I'm going around to different parties and watching scary movies. I end up at Kelley Alvey's house and I'm trying to figure out a program on her computer. Paul Dinkins and my Aunt Karen are there, too, and I tell them I'm getting ready to leave for Iraq.

2) I'm in Iraq and I'm doing maintenance on latrine trailers with Matt Damon. We're working and we have the trailer closed down, but some guy comes in anyway, and we start yelling at him.

3) I'm at home and my parents and brother come in and my brother has bought porn for the whole family as gifts. Mine is two movies and two dirty novels.