1) I'm a professor at a college and I'm walking down the hall. I stop and see Bruce Willis teaching in one of the rooms, so I listen at the door for a minute. He's telling a joke, but I don't hear the whole thing because another professor sees me and thinks I'm slacking off so I leave and go to the bathroom. I walk into the bathroom, but all the urinals are really high so I have to stand on my tip-toes to pee and I feel kinda stupid. I leave the bathroom and see Jon Wright and we decide to go on a road trip to look for this missing guy. I have a big motor home and we both get in, and then this random old guy gets in, too. He starts giving all this annoying old-person advice and Jon and I want to tell him to get out, but we don't have the heart so we decide he can just go with us. We're getting ready to leave town and I stop at a grocery store to pick up munchies. I grab some Pringles, Pop Tarts, and a few other things, but it's too much for me to carry, so I ask the girl if I can leave it at the counter while I get sodas and she gives me a mean look.