1) I'm at a NASCAR race with a bunch of people including my Dad, my aunt, and Jack, this guy I went to high school with, his wife, and about three or four other people. I bring my computer along because I think they have wi-fi at the track, but after we sit down, I open up my computer and I can't get a signal. After the race, we're all eating dinner, and I'm having a nice conversation with Jack's wife. After dinner, I go sit on the couch, and she comes and sits on my lap. I'm kinda uncomfortable, but Jack doesn't seem to mind. I'm telling her about how we go to Rooster's a lot, and one of the bartenders there just got her boobs enlarged. Jack leaves, but his wife stays on my lap and no one seems to mind. She starts telling me how she prefers the word "titties," and I tell her how much I hate that word, and that there's no real good substitute for "breasts" without sounding like you're in high school.