1) I'm helping with a children's Sunday School class at my old Church in Morganfield. The main teacher keeps asking me for ideas for games or lessons for the kids. After Sunday School, I'm waiting in the parking lot for my Mom, and I set up my iPod right in the middle, so people can listen to music on their way to the worship service. The teacher comes by again asking for lesson ideas. Mom comes out and I tell her I don't really want to go to worship. She says I don't have to, but she's going to go anyway. I song with bad lyrics comes on my iPod, so I run up and try to shut it off, but it won't turn off, so I throw it in the back of Chris Thompson's car. I go into the service, even though they've already started, and sit down. There's a guy next to me in the pew in a hockey outfit. I get home before Mom, and I'm sitting in my room. I go to look for something to eat in the pantry, and I see a bunch of old spray paint cans. I take them into the basement and start spraying them to get rid of whatever is inside so I can take them to the recycling plant. Dad comes home and I tell him what I'm doing. He acts really depressed and goes into his bedroom. I hear a bunch of motorcycles outside, so I look out my bedroom window and see a big biker gang in the driveway of Mr. Clements's house across the street. They see me looking at them and they take off.

1) I'm in a deployed location somewhere, and it's raining really hard. I'm walking around camp with some guys in my shop. We stop at finance, and they tell me that when I get my utility bills, I have to go to the home fuels office to pay it. I tell them that I have automatic payments out of my Italian bank account, but they say it doesn't matter. I'm wondering if this is why my last bill was so high. We leave finance and we're walking into a restricted area of the base. There's a really cute girl working the gate, and one of my friends tries to hit on her. She tells him it's not working and that she won't let us in, so I tell her in a very non-threatening way to let us in. She thinks about it for a while, and starts to open the gate, but then her commander comes along and pushes her down.

1) I move to a big city somewhere, and my only choice of places to live are in these huge high-rise apartment buildings. I'm trying to find one close to work, and I keep looking at a map to find a decent one. I go inside the lobby of one, and ask if they have anything available, and the lady tells me they just rented their last one. Then I see MSgt Hammes walking out and he tells me he just got the last one. I get on my bike and I'm riding through downtown, wondering what their laws are for bike riders. There are tolls all over the place, but I don't pay any of them.

1) Nick Fuoss, Jack Black, a few other people and I are visiting a really old castle. There's a creepy caretaker who says we can go wherever we want. I start going down some really steep stairs. Nick is right behind me. I end up in some kind of dungeon and it's really cramped, so I tell Nick to turn around because I want to get out. We go back outside. Jack and one of the girls get trapped in some kind of hidden room for a long time, and the caretaker tells them they have to work their way out, so they have to rotate this giant rock to keep it from falling in a water hole.

1) I'm getting deployed, and the military is paying for us all to spend a weekend in a really nice spa. I'm taking a shower and these people keep coming in and bringing me soap and towels and stuff. After I leave the shower, this lady says she's going to give me a massage. At first, I don't want one, but then decide to go ahead and take it. She makes me go into a room for a few minutes where these guys take a bunch of pictures of me. When I leave the room, I find out they've made an exact clone of me. The massage lady finds me again, and brings me into another room. My clone is in there laying on his back. She lays some pillows on top of him, and I lay on the pillows so my clone and I are face to face. She says this is somehow supposed to relax me and help me look into my inner chi or chakra or something. I'm start talking to my clone, and he knows he's a clone, and I wonder what will happen to him after I leave. He asks another guy in the room if he's supposed to hear Madonna's voice talking to him. I lean down and start making out with my clone for a minute. He gives really wet kisses, but they're still kinda nice. The massage lady tells me to relax and she starts rubbing my back.

1) I'm living in a dorm, and after work one day, I see Mikey and ask if he wants to get dinner that night. He says yes, and I tell him I'll try to find Jay so he can go, too. I look all over for Jay, and when I find him, he's volunteering to help with some kind of banquet that night. He asks if I can move his truck for him. His truck is really big, and I'm worried about hitting stuff because I'm not used to driving it. Joe Powell is there, too, and he's trying to get stuff prepared for the banquet, and I tell him I haven't seen him since high school.

2) I'm walking around some town in Italy with Meredith and a couple other people. We stop in a little clothing store, and Meredith is picking out cool shirts for me. I start talking to the manager and she asks if I want to work there. I tell her I will, but that I can only work nights. I start meeting all the other people that work there, and I find that Theresa has moved to Italy and is working there, too. I get a copy of the next week's schedule, and I'm not on it yet. I keep asking if they want to me to work that weekend, and they say everyone works the weekends. I get worried about what time I'm supposed to be there. I walk outside, and the manager is sitting under a tree, and she tells me to come sit down. Then she starts asking me about the lyrics to a song she heard and what they mean. Something about a silver ladder and making a clock.

1) There is a hurricane or something coming, and I'm at home helping everyone pack things up and move to a better place. I see Dan and Paul, who I didn't think knew each other. I'm carrying a bunch of bags, and I'm trying to catch up with them, but they're really far ahead. After we drop off everything, a bunch of us are at a bar. I'm sitting with Joann, and I see Dan at another table. I'm wondering why he hasn't talked to me yet, and I think he and Joann would get along great. I get up to see if Joann wants to meet Dan, but when I turn around, she's gone. Corey says she's gone on another cruise.

1) I'm on base and some kind of exercise is going on, but I'm not really playing in it. I'm really hungry and I see a carload of girls going to lunch together, so I ask if I can hop in. I get inside, and they're all really funny and telling jokes and stuff. We get to a big cafeteria, and I sit at a table. I'm waiting for the girls to sit down, and there are a couple guys at a nearby table being really obnoxious. I think that maybe I should go beat one of them up, but they're both much bigger than me. Then I think it won't matter if I get beat up because they were the ones being rude and I will get sympathy from the girls. We go back outside and we're going to go back to work, but someone's car needs to be towed, so we're trying to find out how to tie the cars together. Amy Poehler is there, and I want to tell her this great idea I have for an SNL skit, but I'm sure she hears stuff like that all the time. We end up having, like, seven or eight cars tied together in a big train, but the only thing holding them together is a little magnet. I'm waiting at the exit and I see the first five cars drive by, but the last two or three got left behind.

1) Sherry and Jennifer, two girls from high school, come through Italy and stop for a visit. We decide to go shopping and end up at a mall in Utah. We go into a store and they're both looking for girl clothes, but I can't find the men's section. They catch up with me, and we find the men's section, but it's really small, and I don't find anything I like. We go back to Garah's house, which looks like my grandparents' house. We're tossing the frisbee outside, and it starts raining. Amy shows up, and we keep playing, even though it's totally pouring. We go back inside, and everyone takes off their wet clothes and I feel really awkward. Sherry is totally staring at my junk.

2) I'm working outside the Chapel, for some reason, and it's early in the morning. Some people show up, and are waiting outside. I use my work keys to let them in. They start singing songs, and invite me to hang out with them. They start getting really charismatic and waving their hands and dancing around. I just kinda stand there with my head bowed, but this lady next to me keeps grabbing my hands and rubbing on my arms. She pushes me into a crowd in the middle of the room and I can hear them all singing and crying. The song is really beautiful.

3) Jon and Garah are babysitting two little black girls, and decide to take them to the pool. They invite me, and when we get to the pool, it's really crowded. One of the girls has some legos, and we start to build some kind of castle. She wants to take the legos out on a raft in the water, but I tell her they'll fall off and get lost. We continue putting the castle together on the side. Garah goes over to the fence and suddenly falls asleep on the ground. Jon goes over and falls asleep, too. I walk over and I smell some kind of weird gas and I get really tired, but I keep myself awake. I grab Jon and Garah by the feet and try to pull them away. The girls are walking over, but I tell them to stay away. Nobody else seems to realise what's going on.

1) I'm trying to organise some kind of movie night on base, but Corey has the movie we're supposed to watch, and nobody knows where he is. Somebody tells me that the fire fighters have a bunch of movies, so I get in a truck and head to the fire department. For some reason, I'm in my blues, and while I'm driving there, this girl hops in the back of the truck. She's a lieutenant, and she's in her blues, as well. We have to trek through the woods to get to the fire station, and we meet up with two other guys, both in their blues, too. After we get there, I'm hanging out with the fire fighters, and they get me to eat this sandwich made with two sugar cookies and some kind of blue paste in the middle. Afterward, I have to lie down. They put this big blue tarp over me, and I pretend to go to sleep. I feel somebody crawl on top of me and put something on my neck.

1) I'm shopping at a grocery store, and a lady that works there tells me I could be shopping more efficiently. She hands me a list of food to buy, and tells me I have a certain amount of time to get it. I start racing around the store, but some of the stuff on the list they don't have. She keeps checking on me, and I'm trying to read the labels on all the stuff I'm buying, just to take more time to spite her. The lady is being really condescending, and when she walks the other way, I put all the food back. I'm walking toward the exit, and I see Pat Gamblin walking in, but she's talking on her cell phone, so I just smile and wave. Then my whole family is behind her. Dad asks why I'm upset, but just then I see MSgt Lewis's daughter and she's about to fall down, so I run to catch her.

2) I'm in the middle of a road and a bunch of friends from high school are on the side of the road. There's a car coming, so I'm walking to the side of the road and I drop my cell phone. I just leave it in the road, and when I turn around, the car runs right over it. I go back to grab it, and my phone isn't damaged at all, but it looks different and folds in half to make it smaller and easier to fit in my pocket. All my friends are going out to eat, so I follow them to the restaurant. When I get there, they're deciding whether to stay or not.

1) I'm in my shop, and this lady with a baby comes in and asks if she can use my computer. I assume she's the wife of someone in the squadron, so I say yes. I log off, and when I take my card out, all these web pages start flashing on the screen, none of which I've ever been to. A few of them are pornographic, and I'm a little embarrassed. I tell her I don't know why they're coming up like that, and she acts like she doesn't believe me. Then some really weird pages about African art come up, and I'm all, "Really, I have no interest in African art." Then she starts to believe me. Tony Hairston comes in and starts telling jokes to Ryan. I hear the joke, but I keep missing the punch lines, and I don't want to act like an idiot and keep asking him to repeat the punch lines.

1) I'm in a church I've never seen before. My whole squadron has just finished PT, and I need to shower before I go to work. I'm walking around with my uniform in my bag trying to find out if they have a locker room. I walk up to the third floor and I see Nate Lawson, who has obviously got out of the shower. I ask him where the shower is, and he says there isn't one. I keep looking and find the shower, but now I don't have time because I don't want to be late for work. I walk outside and the Tour de France is going by. Shaun and Nate are watching it, and they're talking about throwing rocks and sticks at the riders.

1) I'm staying with Stacy, a girl I went to high school with. She's married to another guy I went to high school with, but I don't know where he is. I'm sitting on the couch watching a movie, and Stacy keeps getting closer and closer to me. I tell her I'm going to take a shower, and she gets a towel out for me, but won't leave the bathroom. So I go back and sit on the couch. Stacy practically sits on top of me. I tell her she's making me uncomfortable, and she acts really hurt. I go back into the bathroom, and when I pull back the shower curtain, it's a huge bathtub that I could practically swim in.

1) My Mom is taking pilot lessons and she's about to get her license. I'm on a really small plane with her and three or four other people. Mom is flying it, and we're taking off from the airport. There are tons of other planes all over the place, and Mom is having a hard time getting clearance from the tower. They finally give her the go-ahead, and we're going down the runway. She has to manoeuvre around all these other aircraft. Suddenly, I'm in a car following Mom's plane through downtown Morganfield. She's flying really low and can't get through all the power lines. The plane crashes right across the street from our Church. I speed over and pull everyone out of the plane. They're all fine, and Mom is really angry because she was doing what the tower told her to do, but they didn't give her enough time to gain altitude over the city. She hops in the car with me and we go to the police station. Dad is there, and he says the cops have to put everyone in the plane in jail for 30 minutes.

1) I'm in a hospital operating room with a bunch of doctors. A new guy in my squadron, Bob, is laying unconsious on the operating table. The doctors ask me if he's ready for his operation, and I tell them I've taken all the change out of his pockets. One of the doctors starts putting all these paper towels around his chest, I'm guessing to soak up blood when he cuts Bob open. He does some other prep work, and then all this change starts falling out of Bob's pockets. All the doctors glare at me, like I didn't do what I was supposed to do. I get the rest of the change out of his pockets, and then the doctors tell me to just go ahead and take his pants off. So another guy and I take off his pants. Then the doctor asks me if I want to make the first incision. So I take the knife and I make a cut in Bob's chest, and it doesn't feel like I thought it would. After that, the doctor says we have to put Bob on the floor for a minute, and I think, "Well, that can't be very sanitary." But I do what the doctor tells me anyway.

2) I'm hanging out with some guys from work at a barbecue in a park. We're talking about what happened the night before at the bar, but I wasn't there, so I'm just listening to their stories. I see Pat Fawcett walk by and wonder if he recognises me. Aaron starts talking about how he tried to text Steven, but Steven never responded. Then he punches in some numbers on his phone and this big fire ball comes out of the sky and hits the tree next to us. Everyone starts laughing about it, but I'm thinking, "Wow! That was really close!" Then they all start punching numbers into their cell phones and all these big fire balls start falling. I'm running all over trying not to get hit by one of them, and run beneath a shelter.

1) I show up to PT Friday morning, and I'm getting ready to run with everyone in my squadron. Then some guy comes up to me and asks if I can move my truck, so I move it into some kind of indoor parking garage. I'm trying to find a spot, and there are lots of people walking around, making it hard to drive. I get back to my squadron, but they've already run and I missed it. They were in some kind of race with another squadron, and we won. Then everyone lines up for a big formation, and I pass by a female Major from the other squadron. She gives me a really mean look, so I salute her because I think that's what she wants me to do. Then we all get called to attention, and the Major keeps glaring at me. I have no idea why she's upset.

1) I'm deployed to Afghanistan with everyone in my shop. While we're there, we all get tasked for security duty. I'm at one end of the compound with a cop, and we're sitting at our post talking. He's telling me all about his job, and how our rotations go. I finish my time there, and go to the other side of the compound where MSgt Lewis is posted. Eventually, almost all the guys from my shop are there, and we're hanging out and socialising. I look into the compound and see that we're really high in the air. I start thinking about how I'm going to blog my deployment, especially if we're up in the clouds.

1) I'm on a youth trip, and we're staying in a big hotel. I don't know anyone there except Brother Sam. We all wake up one morning for Church, and decide to go to breakfast beforehand. Sam tells me the place we're going has wi-fi, so I bring my computer along. I have to go to the bathroom, and I'm standing at the urinal trying not to drop my computer. I leave the bathroom and I'm looking for the table where everyone is sitting. I walk to the lower floor, and don't see anyone. I walk back upstairs and see everyone back in the corner. I ask if they've already ordered. I'm getting ready to sit down and I drop my computer.

1) My brother and his wife decide to have a second wedding, this one more formal and in a Church. I'm getting ready to go to the wedding, and my Grandmother asks if I can help her get ready. I'm retrieving her shoes and purse, and I accidentally trip and mess up her hair. She's very upset, but tries not to let me know. I take her to her house so she can redo it. Her house is all decorated for Valentine's Day. We get to the wedding and I see my Mom all dressed up. I tell her she's beautiful and I start crying.